*How are you working your personal recovery?*

945355_462160650532450_1716496763_n[1]2czo8When it comes to our recovery, we have 2 options, We can work hard, and attack our addiction like a “Tiger,” or we can be meek like a “Little Puppy.” I’ve seen many recovery websites & blog’s where they write a “Mourning” letter to their addiction. I think that is Fantastic, because it can give you a sense of closure to the ONE THING that had you in “Bondage” for so long, and as we learn and grow in our recovery journey, there comes a point in time when we get deeper into our recovery, that our addiction needs a Memorial Service. Mine didn’t happen until about 4 years into my recovery, that I felt it was the right time. But mine came out in the form of a “Book Manuscript” WHY???……because my goodbye letter was SO Darn Long that’s why!….LOL….Writing my book was part of my healing of past and current old wounds, forgiveness, accountability and honesty of the people I hurt with the Poor Choice’s I’d made when active in my addiction,  and those good friendships lost, even family I lost.  See, even though Gamblers Anonymous says that we can recover regardless if we know, or not know why we used gambling addiction in the first place.  For myself, I knew some of why I used addicted gambling, I was using it to NOT FEEL those old wounds and pain that I “Thought” I’d worked through already. I guess I just didn’t do enough, or in a healthy way. So I used gambling to “Cope” and “Escape” when these feelings came knocking on my door once again. Then you begin to start using those skills and bad habits & behaviors within your personal life challenges as well, you begin to lie to the people you love the most, and you watch yourself slowly turn into a person you don’t even KNOW anymore when you look at yourself in the mirror, then you just stop looking after a while. Everything I worked so hard for through out my life was starting to get fuzzy and fade into the background of this cunning, destructive disease I had. I became a very sick woman. I feel for myself personally, the best, and bravest thing I’ve EVER done in my Life was use my “True Name”as the Author Name on my book! I’d been through SO much, that if I truly was going to take FULL Responsibility and Accountability for my addiction, then I was NOT going to hide behind Anonymous, or use a Pen or Ghost writer name. So, Now we jump two years ahead to 2013, and Today. My paperback of my book came out this past late Nov., and the eBook for Amazon Kindle reader just came out a few weeks ago, so I can not explain in words or feelings how rewarding my life has been since the book released, and how many blessings and doors have opened. But the biggest thing that makes me the “Happiest”?? Are the beautiful letters and emails I’ve received from others I’ve never met, tell me how they were able to identify with my story, and that it helped them. It’s why I wrote my book, to “Share”and give some “Hope to others who suffer from any addiction. Not for fame or money, nor for attention, or pats on the back, No….I share my “True Story”to let others know that, (ONE) No matter what you have done wrong in your past, and within your addiction, YOU CAN RECOVER! (TWO) People will understand, so your PAST does NOT define the person you ARE! (THREE) To get people to understand that Addicted Gambling IS A REAL Disease! and (FOURTH) TRY to Break the “STIGMA” of how people view Addiction and Mental/Emotional illness in this World! If you would like to read my story of addiction, life challenges, childhood trauma, and recovery, you can order the paperback or download the eBook on Kindle, my Direct Link http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485/  Thank you for supporting me in my Recovery! God Bless, Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

2 thoughts on “*How are you working your personal recovery?*

  1. Pingback: Recovery Update #3: Honesty With Yourself | Forge The Mettle

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