When I finally grabbed the “Bull” by it’s horns in my Recovery, my dreams were slowly starting to come true. ALL the GA meetings, all the treatment appointments, the hours of therapy and 12-Step work I even continue today. All the reading, writing of answered questions on the addiction, the “Cycle”, the habits and bad behaviors we learn in our addiction. Our diseased thought process and poor “choice’s”
The countless lies we told to cover or hide what we were doing. All the EXCUSE’S, DENIALS of having a problem, and all the “Unheard” prayers to G-D that,” this will be the last time I ever gamble if you just let me win!!” Sadly, only more money gone, wasted, more debt and bills, more calls from creditors, mortgage company, people I owed money too!!
It seemed to NEVER END!!…….Little did I know all of it would almost END MY LIFE!
My addicted gambling addiction at the end, had me on my knee’s PRAYING. NOT for a BIG win, but for G-D to give me courage to end my life, I just couldn’t take anymore!! So, Via the Hospital, I woke up in a addictions/mental Crisis Center for the 2ND TIME. See, I tried once before to end it all, but again….not successfully.
As I lay in my bed at the crisis center, I made a choice…….I could continue the path of “Darkness and Death” or I could grab the G-d forsaken BULL BY THE HORNS AND LIVE!! I decided the Latter! So, I got on my knee’s and said a prayer to my Higher Power that I would “TURN ALL” over to him, if he would JUST give ME the COURAGE & STRENGTH to go forward into Recovery and help me with all the Temptations, Triggers, and those nagging URGES and I would do the rest.
Well, here I am today with 6+yrs of clean recovery time, I’m blessed today that after ALL the stupid prayers I prayed to my GOD……the most IMPORTANT ONE of ALL was answered!!! NO, I’m not a Crazy, Born Again Nut…..NO….I’m a Humbled, Grateful, believer of my High Power that he “GRANTED” me One Beautiful MIRACLE of Recovery.
So much more he has given me in opening doors, and blessing me each day. It helped me, guided me as I did the recovery work needed to get my LIFE BACK. Writing my book and personal testimony of what I have been through in my life up to today really is a miracle to me. If anyone can get to the lowest of the lows in life, and come back from that, and turn their LIFE around as I have, they well damn deserve RESPECT……..IN MY WILDEST DREAMS did I ever think I’d be where I am today, with have written a book, and being a Published Author, love being a Freelance addiction & recovery article writer, and now, a New Job this week as a Recovery Newspaper columnist, WOW, for: http://www.RecoverySocialnet.com they are a Great Recovery Support Website that is for anyone recovering from any type of Addiction. Come check them out!
Since my eBook released a few weeks ago, I can not tell you how many Beautiful comments I’ve received from So many who said,” they could relate to my own story, and that it helped them in many ways.” I feel that is what my purpose here on this Earth was all about. It’s why I’m still here and Breathing. My Higher Power is working through ME to help and share “HOPE” from addiction to others! I also Blessed to have not 1 but 2 successful Blogs to carry my message to those who still suffer from this cunning disease. (1st http://www.Simplesite.com/CatherineLyonAdditedToDimes )
I truly feel I had to go through the Trials and Tribulations of Addiction to understand, and have appreciation for others who suffer from any addiction. I also learned we are ALL equal human beings no matter WHAT paths to ended up on to come to a GREATER PLACE in Humanity. To care for others for WHO they are, not for what they have done in the past. I say this a lot, but it is what I believe to be true,…***MY PAST WILL NOT DEFINE WHO I AM TODAY***………………