“Have you ever felt like this kangaroo within your addiction?
Yes, the video is cute and funny, but it sure isn’t when you’re in the middle of a full-blown addiction!
And there have been many holidays past that I sure screwed up by gambling and desperately trying to win money to by gifts holidays because I could not stop gambling all through and before the holidays! I think all addicts have been there that desperation mode. I remember one sad time in particular, I was in Wal-Mart and I was walking up and down the “Christmas gift Idea” isle just looking at the stuff I wish I could by for my family and friends for holiday gifts. I couldn’t, as I had no extra money because of my gambling addiction. Yes, gambling was at the time was more important than gifts and my family. That IS what addiction does to a an addict of any addiction.
There is much sadness, guilt, shame and embarrassment around this and that is how selfish addiction makes us until you begin the recovery work and the process of amends and forgiving yourself, the old addict self. Now I am not trying to be a “Debbie Downer” on our brand New Year, but someone has to share the truth, “The Real Deal” about being an addicted gambler.
So now it is another brand new year and many of us are gaining more and more recovery time. But the holiday time can also make us reflect back and remember the not so good years. Nothing wrong with doing that. We need at time in recovery to look at how far we have come within our recovery journey. As long as your not throwing a “pity party” we need to be reminded just how far we have come from the “old days.” . . . .
Now like that kangaroo above, so excited, we to can be that excited about and within our recovery lives. It does take a different outlook, a different attitude then the one we had when we were addicts. As we begin the inner work it takes to reclaim your life, you need to also incorporate life balance into your recovery. Just because you live life in recovery does NOT mean your New Year Parties are over! It just means YOU will remember everything that happened!
So how do you have fun living in recovery? Oh my there are a whole host of things you can do. One thing I did was look back at the things you enjoyed before you became an addict. I loved reading good books, I loved writing poems, and enjoyed writing in general. And even though I am a published author now? That was never on my “life bucket list” and never thought I would be in lifetime. But, BAM! IT Happened. LOL. So, recovery can even help make you better than you were before addiction. It has brought me so many life blessings and I have learned many life lessons too!
How to start? Start with having a “Heart of Gratitude and a Alice of Humble Pie!” And never give up on yourself, your dreams and help others along the way! XOXO
THAT my friends is my New Year message to you all!
Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Author/Writer