Guest Post By Recovery Writer Dominica Applegate. In Sober Recovery. Blaming and How to Stop.


The Blame Game, we all have done it one time or another when we begin in early recovery. When we surrender and know our addiction is making our lives unmanagable, we need to learn to ownership, be honest to ourselves, and become the habit of accountability. Lets read what recovery writer, Dominica shares more about playing the blame game.




How to Successfully Stop Playing the Blame Game

Now that you’re in recovery, you are faced with the blame game dilemma—a new phase where you can either accept responsibility for your entire life or keep pointing fingers at others for how things turned out. Perhaps you blame your parents because studies have shown that addictive behaviors are genetic, but that’s still not a free pass for you to stay addicted.

Maybe you blame your friends for introducing you to partying, but you were the one who decided to put substances in your body. You also chose to continue using so really, and you have no one else to blame but yourself.
At the beginning of any recovery plan, an addict goes through an array of emotions like anger, resentment, pity, loneliness, helplessness, and so on.

To finally get off the blame train, the person in recovery must take the following steps.

Become accountable 
Now that you have taken the first step to recovery with the admission that you have an addiction. It is time to step up and be held accountable. Ultimately, you must admit that it’s no one’s fault other than your own. This is an important step in your recovery plan, as it empowers you to make the necessary changes you need to make in your life. When you blame others, you give them that power, which can really stifle growth.

Tell the truth.
Tell yourself and others that you are taking full responsibility for your entire life now, not just not the addiction. You’re not blaming anyone else no matter what the past has been like. This will not be easy, but it is a must to grow successfully on your journey.


Accountability in Recovery - Dara Rehab




Start a journal.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings tends to help relieve some of the negativity going on in your mind that affect your decision making. Every time you have a thought, or make a comment that shifts the blame of your addiction onto others, or outside influences, write them down.

Then, take a few moments to think of how you could have made that statement or expressed that feeling without placing blame elsewhere. Write them down alongside the negative statements.

Practice good self-care.
Take responsibility for life by taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. Maintain good personal hygiene, start an exercise program, choose healthy eating habits, pray or meditate, and continue your counseling sessions.

Honesty is the key for you to move forward fully. Remembering that you are the individual who led you to this addiction reinforces that you have always been in control of your own life, not control of your addiction. Now that you’ve decided to admit that you have a problem, you’re able to drive your life toward a long-term successful recovery.


Divorce Inspirational Quotes ⋆ Online Divorce Counseling


Finally, States In Lottery Drawings Being “Held Accountable.” Needs To Happen More Often…

Finally, States In Lottery Drawings Being “Held Accountable.” Needs To Happen More Often…

Powerball and Mega Millions suspend Illinois thanks to its ballooning budget crisis…

 

 

Putting A Face Behind Addicted Compulsive Gambling. Meet Adnan Alisic & His New Book “ARIZONA DREAM”. .

A true story straight out of the News Headlines about an Addicted Gambler ~ Lets put faces behind Gambling Addiction the Disease. . .
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“Not only is a group of men charged in the theft of $2 million cash from an armored truck at an East Valley casino, but they could also be accused of stealing from some Hollywood scripts. A FBI search warrant affidavit and federal indictment records provide new details of the July 21 attempted robbery of Casino Arizona at Talking Stick that some movie buffs might find familiar.”

Attempted Casino Arizona robbery like a Hollywood movie” ~ said the Associated Press ~

ASSOCIATED PRESS – The attempted robbery of $2 million from a casino on the Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community east of Phoenix sounds more like a Hollywood movie than a real-life incident, according to newly released court documents.

Officials are charging Ismar K, Adnan Alisic, Bakil, and Daniel M{ not wanting to use the others charged – full names}, with conspiracy, interference with commerce by threats, violence and robbery, and use of a firearm in a crime of violence in the July 21 attempted robbery of Casino Arizona at Talking Stick, according to their indictment and a FBI search warrant affidavit outlined.

Adnan Alisic made fake manhole covers so they would be lighter and easier to lift, and then switched them with two others the day before the robbery. The men placed ladders and ropes in the manholes and parked an all-terrain vehicle in the sewer system so they could race the money from one manhole to the other. Holes were cut in the floorboards of two vans for access to the manhole covers, a trick Steve McQueen pulled in 1972’s “The Getaway.”
The men’s gear included blue coveralls, gas masks, pepper spray, bear attack deterrent, smoke grenades, cell phones, two-way radios, a 9-millimeter handgun and a plastic pellet gun.

On the night of the attempted robbery, Bakir M and Daniel M parked a white van across the street from the casino and then got into a Lexus to watch the robbery. After ramming their green van into an armored car, K and Alisic jumped out and sprayed one of the guards with pepper spray. The two grabbed bags of money and fled to the first manhole cover. They set off a smoke grenade, but couldn’t raise the manhole cover.
So, the group fled. . . .

So these were the news headlines and in newspapers of The Associated Press, The Arizona Republic and East Valley Tribune newspapers in Arizona back in July & October 2006.

Now fast forward to today.

What really happened that day back in July 2006? Most importantly, why did this crime take place? What happened to those who were arrested? Well as many of you know, I’m not a news reporter or even a professional writer. I’m just another face behind this disease! And I share what I feel strongly about, and my passion for recovery from this addiction.

I can give however give you an answer from one of the men that was involved and caught, taken into custody, charged, prosecuted, and is still in a federal prison today.
He reached out to me recently by email, asking if I could help him promote his new book about his story of addicted gambling, and of course I said, “YES”. . .

So please meet Adnan Alisic. Now a writer, and new author of his explosive debut book titled; Arizona Dream: A true story of a real life “Ocean’s Eleven” and
currently he is in Adams County Correctional Institution, a Federal Prison in Natchez, Mississippi. His release date is not until 2021, but this is where his book was written.

Like me, Adnan is another face behind gambling addiction. These are some of his thoughts, words, feelings looking back, and taking not only ownership for what he has done, but also accountability for the poor choices we all make when entangled in the depths of HELL called addicted gambling. It’s a very cunning and devastating disease.

We all come from different paths, and many, many different stories of addiction to gambling.
Some stories are more sensationalized then others, but the public needs to know about the faces behind this addiction and their stories.

So here is more of Adnan’s story, back story, and about his new shocking reveals in his debut book release of “Arizona Dream: a true story of a “real life ocean’s eleven” now available on Amazon books and Barnes and Noble online.

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Product Details

Arizona Dream: A true story of a real-life “Ocean’s Eleven”

Haunted by the demons from his past, Adnan Alisic escapes Bosnia and comes to Phoenix, Arizona, where he starts a new life. Fueled by ambition on and drive, he starts a successful car dealership, settles down, and lives the American Dream.

Tortured by his past, he seeks relief in gambling and loses everything. After being tossed out of the casino, Adnan vows to get back at them.

Forced by the gambling debt and driven by the revenge against the casino, he plans an elaborate casino heist. After discovering the tunnel running under the casino, he devises an intricate scheme to get his money back and pay off the debt.

From ethnic cleansing and mass killings in Bosnia, to gambling and underground tunnels in Arizona, you will read Arizona Dream until l the last page where you’ll find the real reason and motivation behind the heist. . . .

“In likable, plain-spoken, and insightful prose, full of lush and vivid detail, Adnan Alisic reflects on the suspenseful twists and turns of his one-of-a-kind life path. From the first page to the last, I was completely riveted. This is one hell of a book.”  – Davy Rothbart, author of My Heart is an Idiot, and creator of FOUND Magazine. . .

About The Author Adnan Alisic, and how his book came to light:

Entangled in a gambling addiction, he was forced to execute this sensational casino heist. He is currently serving seventeen-and-a-half years in federal prison in Mississippi.

“Haunted by the atrocities of war, a Bosnian refugee pursuing the elusive American dream finds himself committing the heist of the century.”

Ališic’s debut memoir, composed entirely in prison, begins in the mid-1990s: “This is my story as I remember it,” he writes in the foreword-and if even half of it is true, it’s enough adventure for 10 lifetimes. The author escaped the clutches of ruthless Serbian militants following Yugoslavia’s breakup, relocated to Phoenix and achieved success selling used cars. But the only thing more rewarding than making money was spending it, and with the help of the nearby Casino Arizona, Ališic did just that. What should have been merely recreational begins to invade him in a way he could never have imagined.

Helpless against gambling’s siren song, his small empire crumbled as his company’s profits fueled his habit. Although the finer details of his business operations tend to be long-winded, even extraneous, they underscore just how easily the blackjack table ripped away what took so long to build. As his desperation increased, Ališic’s financiers threatened to sue; his unsupervised employees embezzled from the company coffers; and his cherished girlfriend, Selma, left him – his world falling apart.

“Last night, I gambled away a 2002 Mustang,” he confides. “I realized that the more I was going there, the more I craved it. Not because I wanted to be there. Not because I liked it. But because I knew I wasn’t a loser, and I wanted to even the score.” In this case, evening the score meant boosting $2 million from Casino Arizona. Yet his self-styled description of his story as a “real-life Ocean’s Eleven” sells the reality short.

Far from the devil-may-care attitude of those films, his memoir reveals the scheme as the remarkably human outcome of a life marked by anguish and the hope of redemption. A series of harrowing flashbacks to Bosnia-illegally selling cigarettes in Prijedor, leaping into a sewage canal while outrunning a barrage of bullets, witnessing a massacre, being tortured nearly to death-transforms Ališic into a hero worthy of anyone’s admiration.

Here is what others are saying about Adnan’s book:

“A riveting read from beginning to end, “Arizona Dream” is an expertly written, true-life tale that reads like a thriller novel, documenting author Adnan Ališić as an extraordinary storyteller. This is the stuff from which Hollywood blockbuster movies are made.”
– Midwest Book Review

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So as I wrote earlier, Adnan happen to reach out to me by email. He wanted to know if I could help promote his book for him. At first I was wondering if this a spam email or joke. But as I read his email, it was clear he to was another victim of gambling addiction the disease. Another face behind this cunning addiction. It didn’t occur to me that Adnan was emailing me from federal prison. So I wrote him back with a few questions, and shared a little of my story with him.
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So I did some research to see what I could find about his story, as I now live in Arizona temporary myself. There are many news reports from the Arizona Republic newspaper here in Phoenix, AZ. And a few from the Associated Press. Of course, being a recovering addicted gambler myself, I wasn’t real surprised about what these 4 men, including Adnan had done.

I knew how Adnan felt about feeling taken for a ride by Indian Casinos, and for me, State Lottery. I also felt the same way he did when sitting in a cold jail cell waiting to be booked and processed for my crime. The reality of what you did hits you like a ton of bricks! All because of the strain of financial devastation, and overwhelming gambling debts. And this part of the work we do in recovery is sometimes missed, or not enough work done in taking our financial inventory.

And as Adnan said in his own words to me in his email; “In the beginning there were quite a few reporters who wanted to talk to me — but at that time I refused to talk to them, and as you know, the media only reported whatever was available from police reports and court records, so this is the time for the public to know the full story and put a face behind a compulsive gambler.”

And Adnan is right! media and news reports always seem to spin things to make more out of a story. And it is way past the time to talk about this. Not just his story, but the stories behind the faces of those who have been destroyed by this insidious addiction. It’s really not about the money, or the crazy shit we do all for the love of our addiction, or the financial aftermath of it all.

It’s about what it does to the human condition. It takes every part of us emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. We allow this addiction to invade our thinking, thoughts, actions, and choices when we are so invaded by addictions.
All addictions do that.

But through hard work in recovery, we can get better, recover, and be better than we were before addicted gambling consumed us. I know Adnan still has many miles to walk, but at least he now has the ability to see what his errors and choices have cost him, and he has taken accountability for them. Having your freedom taken away is a hard thing to process.

Having to relearn awareness of our feelings about ourselves is very important in recovery, because we have learned to escape from feeling anything. We become comfortably numb.
So I choose to be of recovery service to Adnan. WHY?
His Story Needs To Be Heard. . . .

Because like myself, he to was brave enough to write and publish his personal story about his addicted gambling addiction, the disease. I commend him, and all those who do. That is how we can continue to raise awareness, shatter the stigma, educate and inform others of this addiction!

If you’d like to support Adnan in recovery, buy his book here: http://www.amazon.com/Arizona-Dream-Real-life-Oceans-Eleven-ebook/dp/B00OZ0S9WC  {Now an e-book promo price .99 cents}

Send him an email of support here:  alisic.adnan6@gmail.com
Visit his website: www.arizonadreambook.com
Follow him on FB: https://facebook.com/Arizonadream

And I will keep you posted on how he is doing to here in future blog posts.

God Bless Recovery Friends,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon 🙂
http://www.amazon.com/Arizona-Dream-real-life-Oceans-Eleven/dp/B00OZ0S9WC

Recovery Sharing and Engaging With Others About My Life & My Book. . .

Hello Recovery Friends, Supporters, and Welcome New Visitors,


“Always know your not less than, you worth more than”. . .

Living ones life in recovery means different things to different recovery people. Those of us who accept and surrender come from all walks of life, and we come from addictions from many different paths. I always say, “we all have a story to tell, and that story can be a powerful tool to help others in their recovery.”

As many of my friends who know me well, they know that besides advocating and sharing my personal recovery journey, I book promote for some fine authors to make a living. Many of my clients turn into fantastic friends. They support my life in recovery, and my current published book of my story of addiction and much more! They trust that I put the effort into promoting their books as I do into advocating for recovery. But I do always share who I am in recovery as I do as a published author. WHY?

Because I’m honest, accountable, and not feeling “less than” in life. Most new friends I meet as book promo clients buy and read my book, and learn exactly where I’ve been, and who I am today. What I had to work through and overcome. I never let my past define the person I am today. That is why I wanted to share this interaction that I had with a new author/book promoting client. It really shows how passionate I am about my life in recovery, and shows just how serious and honest people can be about their views of people in recovery. My sharing is meant to continue my fight of shattering STIGMA around those of us who choose to live in recovery from a very hush, hush addiction of “Compulsive Addicted Gambling, Mental Health, and Childhood Trauma & Abuse.” . . .


“No More Shame” . . .

My Interaction with Author, Jeanne Marie Peters by email:

Jeanne: Dear Catherine,
I’ve read one-half of your story and it has well-defined for me what the phrase “dysfunctional family” means. I’m so glad you have this wonderful husband and I hope the second half of your story will record the sunshine hours of your life. So far my summation is: All the while the drama of mortal existence takes front stage, but in the quiet background pure affection is winning its way, until the whole lump of human life is leavened, and the sweet odor of gentleness perfumes the air.

Like you, my younger years did not contain ‘many acknowledgements of worth,’ and I treasure the few such as hearing my Aunt Sarah say, “Isn’t Jeanne a good little girl?” and her brother, my grandfather, responding, “Yes, she’s as good as gold.”  And one of the five I ever heard from my dear mother, “You are always polite to every one; politeness is not just a social thing; it’s comes from the very fiber of your being.” But at the same time you having rage inside.”  I mention these, because it reminds me of the power of a few kind words, as I sort through your own torturous journey to your divine precious being.

Relatives who are of the Mormon faith have written my grandfather, Fred Mansfield Law, out of family history because he gambled. We’re all working something out in our lives. “Charity covereth a multitude of sins,” says the Bible. Kindly allow me to share one of grandfather’s poems. . .

Easy Valley
There’s a little spot out West
Where you can be at rest,
It’s the place that I like best: Easy Valley

Where there’s music in the air
And the birds recite a prayer,
For all that’s lovely there: in Easy Valley

It has gold along its streams
And miners in their dreams,
Know how long it seems: they’ll tarry.

Many years I’ve been away,
Now I’m going back to stay.
I’ll soon be on my way: to Easy Valley

Gee, won’t it seem to grand
Just to take my sweetheart’s hand,
The one who understands: in Easy Valley

And by a little cottage gate,
There my darling waits,
Near the River Applegate: in Easy Valley

And by a little cottage gate,
There my darling waits,
Near the River Applegate: in Easy Valley

Where there’s music in the air
And the birds recite a prayer,
For all that’s lovely there: in Easy Valley

Many years I’ve been away,
Now I’m going back to stay.
I’ll soon be on my way: to Easy Valley
God Bless,
Jeanne

Now this poem Jeanne shared with me touched my heart. Even though she was only half through my book, she understood my style of writing, and also understood the way I wrote and shared my experiences to not sound to readers like, denial, excuses, or as a victim. It is very difficult to do when writing about addiction and recovery. Especially to those readers who may not have been touched by addiction. So here is what I replied and shared back to Jeanne of my feelings. . . .

Catherine:
I’m glad you got my book ok. This poem is beautiful, and I thank you for sharing it with me. I’m also going to share it in a new recovery blog post this week too! You are becoming more like a wonderful 2nd mama to me with your wonderful recovery encouragement and support, as I didn’t get to much of that from my mom until later in life, before her passing in 2003.

I really appreciate that about you. You have such an open heart and spirit about you. It’s like a magnet. . .;-).  And what you’re doing with and for Catherine is a blessing. (Her next book co-authored with her friend). My next book is a little follow-up of where Tom, my hubby, and I are now, what I’ve been up to since my book published, and the rest is about how others can reach that all elusive first year in recovery. When I’m not promoting for clients, I’m keeping my recovery a main priority now that I just celebrated my 8th year in recover. I’m keeping to what God has given me, a life long purpose to help others in recovery from the destructive addiction of Compulsive Addicted Gambling.

And to continue my advocacy of raising awareness, help educate and inform the public of the dangers of now expansions of Indian Casinos and State Lotteries. This expansion is hurting those of us trying to stay in recovery when gambling is so accessible all around us. I harbor NO ill will towards those who can gamble for the fun and entertainment purpose, nor do I think gambling should be banned. I just want the public to know there are thousands of us out here who can not. And with expansion comes some negative impacts on our local communities. That’s it in a nutshell.

So sharing my story through my book was the only way I knew I could achieve this God Given Purpose.  And I believe that others, if given the chance can also turn their lives around and away from addictions with the right help and support. When we let our Higher Creator inside our Heart, we in Recovery are Unstoppable!

Many Blessings Your Way,
Catherine. . .

So that was my reply to Jeanne. I feel it’s important to share our true feelings. WHY?
Because within our addictions we become selfish, and so numb from the disease that we lose that ability to feel and think properly. No, I’m not blaming the addiction or disease for the poor choices I had made, I’m saying that we are in no healthy, or clear minded position to make those healthy choices in life when we have a head full of diseased thinking, bad habits and behaviors we have picked up within addiction. Addiction invades every part of you. As we know many of our thoughts and our choices come from feelings to begin with, so if we don’t feel any of the pain or devastation ourselves, and to those around us, we are barely of sound mind to make healthy life choices.

But, as I told Jeanne in my reply, if we fight like hell to reclaim our lives from addiction, and with the right help and support, we can recover and reclaim our lives back from any addiction!

Many Blessings and Happiness Recovery Friends!
Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Author & Recovery Advocate