I Was Excited To Be a Guest on an Amazing Podcast To Raise Awareness of Problem Gambling & My Mental Health on Grabbalicious. . .

I Was Excited To Be a Guest on an Amazing Podcast To Raise Awareness of Problem Gambling & My Mental Health on Grabbalicious. . .


Hello and Welcome Recovery Warriors, Friends, and All Visitors,

I have another ‘Special Event’ I am sharing with you! I did another podcast as a featured guest with my new friend and sweet girl, Nicole Burris who is the host of Grabbalicious. She shines the light on mental health and other important topics on her show. When she is not podcasting she enjoys trading into the foreign exchange markets and she is a video gamer. She resides in New York.

As she describes her podcast, you can listen to on Anchor.FM, Google Podcast, and on Spotify. So give her website a visit as she shares all the links to where you can listen to her episodes.
>>>>>>>Right Here on Milkshake! https://msha.ke/grabbalicious/ #grabbalicious

Miss Nicole Burris




“Tell the world what you’re made of with Grabbalicious”

“Hi, I’m Grabbalicious, and Nicole Burris… I have a podcast interviewing YouTubers, Podcasters’ and many other interesting people. I chat with them about mental health and the impact it has in daily lives.”
“Do you want to be a guest on my podcast?”

Follow and message me on my social media on Twitter @grabbalicious1 or on my Instagram
@GrabbaLicious

Courtesy of Nicole Burris ✨✨💄💋🎤🎙🖥💻💖



Now, without further ado, I hope you will enjoy and maybe learn something new about mental health and about recovery from problem gambling. If you know someone you care about has a gambling problem?

Please, re-share this on your blog or website and maybe if they listen to my story, it may give them HOPE that they are not alone, help is available, and they do not have to suffer in silence any longer…

~Advocate, Catherine Lyon

# # # # # #



Just Click Link And Listen on Spotify!
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1gFf77U4R4GRVDKq6W01fy

Grabbalicious interview w/ Cat Lyon
INTRO

“This is such a great episode with a strong woman and advocate/author Cat Lyon!!
She’s such an inspiration to anyone who is going through anything. Follow her on her Twitter @LUV_Recovery and @kitcatlyon and you can find her on my Instagram. Cat is known to never give up on your dreams & Cat, you are a true definition of a survivor!
So, continue to shine you’re light on others”…


Advocate, Author, Writer, Catherine Lyon and
Her Hubby Tom



Gambling Addiction & Alcohol = FEAR “Kick Fear Out of Your Recovery. Especially If You Are “Dual Diagnosed.”

Hello, and Welcome Recovery Friends!

.

 

An Article Share From Earlier This Year. Living With Dual Diagnosis In Recovery With Mental Illness.

tumblr_mm5i7jbkn61qajngxo1_500

 

MAY IS MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH ~ Some of My Story . . .

“All I remember is waking up in the hospital. I heard people talking about me saying, when the police came to my home, there were knives all around me on the couch and floor of my living-room. Then I blacked out again.”

I woke up next in a mental/addiction crisis center with my wrists wrapped, feeling very sick to my stomach, and remained there for the next 14 days”…

I’d been invited by a Behavioral Rehab Center earlier this year to share a little of my story of living with ‘Dual Diagnosis’ of Mental Health challenges while living live in recovery from addiction. Since it is Mental Health Awareness month, I though I would share one of my articles I wrote for them here on my blog. Not only do I have these challenges, I’m also in the middle of a battle, and have been for 5 years with SSI disability for my benefits.

This has added a lot more stress in my life. WHY? Because it is really disappointing when you have worked all your life, paid into your social security disability, and when you do become unable to work? You have to fight like hell for your benefits. I have all the medical, mental, and psychiatry evidence and documentation to show why I am unable to work, but if you get a SSI judge who doesn’t know, or care what you go through daily with these disabilities, and of course he/they find ways for denial of your benefits.

I even have a new lawyer, which makes 3 lawyers now that have helped me, and we just won our federal case, and have been granted a new SSI hearing for next month. Now this whole experience will be for another blog post! LOL.
But my point? If your unable to work because of your Mental Health and medication side effects, you better be armed with excellent evidence, and a good lawyer because you have to fight like hell to get anywhere with the SSI Disability department. And this 5 year experience has added so much more stress in my life that is very unhealthy for me. It is some of what my blog share is about. So here is what I’d like to share with all of you today.
..

cropped-ad31c-mentalillness.jpg

How Does One Recover From Gambling Addiction When Living With Mental & Behavioral Health Problems?

“All I remember is waking up in the hospital. I heard people talking about me saying, when the police came to my home, there were knives all around me on the couch and floor of my living-room. Then I blacked out again.”
I woke up next in a mental/addiction crisis center with my wrists wrapped, feeling very sick to my stomach, and remained there for the next 14 days under a black cloud of pressure pushing down on me!”
Here is where my addiction recovery and behavioral health journey began. Trying to recover from gambling addiction, and while there, was diagnosed with many mental and emotional disorders, and many negative behavioral habits I had picked up in my many years of addicted gambling. I was in crisis! See, I had been suffering undiagnosed mental illness for years without ever knowing it. And I turned to addicted gambling and alcohol abuse in my adult life to zone out & cope, not wanting to feel the hurt and pains I had not processed from childhood.

With my first failed suicide attempt, I was supposed to be attending my best friend’s funeral and celebration of life, instead, I had a very bad gambling binge/slip that almost cost me my life. I chose to escape her tragic death by 16 hours of addicted gambling to escape the hurt and loss I felt from losing my best friend. Many asked me, “how can you just waste your money like that?” Today I tell them, “it’s not about the money, it’s about the disease of addicted gambling, and the bad choices and behaviors that comes with it”. It is why I feel it’s just important to share one’s personal experiences, as it is educating others about this addiction, and about living with mental/emotional illness, and childhood trauma and abuse.

So, what is gambling addiction? There are many definitions for problem and gambling addiction. Some claim it’s a mental health disorder, some say it’s a cognitive behavioral issue, and even some say it’s an impulse control problem. From personal experience, it was all three and more. But all gambling behavior patterns that compromise, disrupt or damage personal, family or vocational pursuits are a gambling addiction. The major features are increasing preoccupation with gambling, a need to bet more money more frequently, restlessness or irritability when attempting to stop, “chasing” losses, and loss of control manifested by continuation of the gambling behavior in spite of mounting, serious, negative consequences. In extreme cases, problem gambling can result in financial ruin, legal problems, loss of career and family, or even suicide. It is why currently gambling addiction has the highest Suicide Rate than any other addiction.

So there I was, in a crisis center due to a suicide attempt, which wouldn’t be my first. However, it made me start the progress (which took a few years) of trying to attain recovery. Still, I wasn’t fully convinced regarding my mental/emotional diagnosis. Partly because I was still in denial about my gambling addiction.

When I was told I would be starting medications for my mental/emotional issues, the first thing I thought was, “oh great, now people are going to think I’m nuts or a fruit loop”! Looking back now, it’s clear that this came from the huge Stigma in this country about those who suffer from any type of mental and or emotional illness. This cunning addiction invades every part of your being, especially your thinking. And even though I was a victim of childhood trauma and sex abuse as a little girl, I had never told anyone until my adulthood.

And my parents did raise us to know right from wrong, even if it was heavy-handed. But when addiction comes along, or you turn to any addiction to cope with what life is throwing at you, all good behaviors and choices fly right out the window, and the negative behaviors of addiction change your thought process in working out life’s problems. It seemed easier for me to go gamble for a few hours than to deal with what life drama was happening around me! That is the ugly side of this addiction. My bumpy journey of recovery began with cognitive behavioral therapy. Last time I wrote about behavioral health. Throw gambling addiction in the mix – this is called having Dual Diagnosis. But on a personal level, I called it a recipe for doom.

 


.

Why? Because it was hard to admit to myself that I have mental health issues as I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I was an addicted gambler, and it got so out of control that I tried to end my life. I wasn’t focused on trying to manage my disorders because I was in denial about my diagnosed mental/emotional illness.  So when I left the crisis center, all I knew was the doctors told me to “take these pills” and all would be OK. However,  I just focused on the recovery from gambling, and didn’t give much thought to managing my mental/emotional health except for browsing through some pamphlets they gave me to read.

What I have learned from this part of my journey is that you have to manage and balance not only your recovery from addiction, but your mental and emotional behavioral health as well. Like any other illness or disease like diabetes or heart disease, you should follow what your doctors suggest, take your medications properly, eat right, and even exercise to have a well-balanced healthy life. But if you only focus on one part of your overall plan, you won’t be successful in managing to stay healthy – physically and mentally.

And that’s the same when we live life in recovery with dual diagnosis.  You have to learn to live an overall well-balanced life in recovery, and mind your mental health. It helps your recovery journey to be a success. There are many ways to recover, but you have to pick one. When is enough really enough with addiction? Are you “sick and tired of being sick and tired” yet? Are you finally done with letting addiction control your life?

Well, If I can recover from both addiction and living with mental and behavioral disorders, then so can anyone!

best personal blogs
best personal blogs

Catherine Townsend-Lyon
Author & Recovery Advocate
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485

 

A Special Re-Share From My Friend Rhonda Johnson’s Important Blog

Hello and Welcome Recovery Friends,

I happen to see this on my good friend Rhonda Johnson’s blog, and I find appropriate to share here. To me, it’s important to continue to talk about
Mental Health issues, as many of us have a daily challenge living with it.
I know I do! Put when we can Raise Awareness, help educate and inform the
the public as to what we go through living with mental health disabilities, maybe, just maybe it will start to break the walls of Stigma just a little bit
more!

If you or someone you know has mental/emotional health disabilities, please visit and explore Rhonda’s blog: http://www.memoirsof2165.com/
Her new book just came out as well, and she does great work for many in recovery, those with mental health challenges, and as she says, “Words Are Powerful!”. . . .

Society and Mental Health Disorders

 .

glenn_close_on_stigma_of_mental_illnesses___by_rationalhub-d5gn4rp.

Let’s Talk Depression…

images (5).

lp.
Grab a copy of her new book here and don’t forget to do a review!

Product Details

Memoirs Of An Addict: Fact or Fiction ~ Now on Amazon. . .

 

An Important Blog Share From My Good Friends At NAMI, Helping Others With Mental Health & Suicide Prevention. . .

Hello Recovery Friends, Blog Friends, and Welcome New Visitors,

SuicidePrevention Pictures
 .
I happen to receive the monthly newsletter from my helpful friends at The National Alliance on Mental Illness. And as many of my friends here know, I battle several mental and emotional disorders myself. And for me the topic of Suicide is a hard subject for me because of my own 2 failed suicides. Yes, I’m blessed and have a heart filled of Gratitude to still be here, but the flip side to this is being able to feel others pain when I read about others and suicide.

To me it is such a senseless loss of precious life. We are all born with such great abilities to soar in life, but sadly the society we live in today can make that an everyday challenge. Even the high stress levels of many jobs can bare to much for some of us. That’s why it’s important to me to start sharing my own mental illness, to be share that part of my life, and to share with others so they don’t feel so alone. And NAMI does a wonderful job at sharing information about how to prevent suicide, as it can be a difficult subject to also talk to your teens about. So I wanted to share this blog article they have on their website. It just may help save lives. . . .

Suicide Prevention: Can We Talk?
By Jacqueline Feldman, M.D., NAMI Associate Medical Director

.

.
Of all the topics in mental health, one of the most difficult to consider is suicide. People contemplating it often do not speak directly of it. Families are surprised, stunned, mortified, angry, and devastated in the face of it. Non-mental health professionals may feel uncomfortable asking about anything related to it.  And mental health professionals feel helpless, as we are terrible at discretely predicting and preventing it. There are tragedies, and there is fear; suicide is at the crossroads when these two meet. . .

As I review scientific articles, and program after program, the despair continues. In spite of more folks talking about it, more people training to identify it, and more programs put in place to prevent it, suicide continues.So what do we know? The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) says suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S., and the third leading cause of death for those aged 15-24. More than 800,000 around the globe die each year; many more attempt it. The figures boggle the mind, and challenge us all: how can we possibly intervene?

Many of us know to watch for warning signs—a history of loss (social support, job, resources, health), prior attempts, family history, recent violence; changing appearance or behavior like plummeting grades or productivity, tearfulness, negativism, social isolation, drugs and alcohol); we’re not so good at communicating our concern or finding help.

Programs like Typical or Troubled from the American Psychiatric Foundation and QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) to name just two of the many that have been developed, frequently focus on training sentinels—folks in a position to observe people at risk—to heighten awareness of those with potential for suicide, and help find relief and support for the person in need. And yet, still we struggle.

On January 9, an article was published in Lancet looking at the results of 3 different kinds of suicide prevention training on over 11,000 students in Europe: QPR, where teachers act as sentinels; ProfScreen, where mental health professionals provide screening, and the Youth Aware of Mental Health Program, which trains the students themselves. This program used “lectures, role-playing, and education about mental health and suicide risk” with students. At 12 months, there was a significant reduction of suicide attempts, and of severe suicidal ideation, compared to the other control groups. It has been suggested that perhaps this program was more effective because it offers interventions “before there are outward signs of risk, and doesn’t stigmatize individual students.” It’s an interesting idea: going to the at-risk population itself, giving them the education, and empowering them to make different choices.

The CDC suggests the key to reducing suicides is to reduce risk and increase resilience. We cannot begin to reduce risk or abolish stigma or enhance resilience if we cannot even talk about the topic. We need a structured national conversation, an engaged public, an engaged media, engaged policy makers, and engaged legislators.

How about a president who starts by mentioning the “dignity and worth of every citizen… (including) Americans with mental illness” in his State of the Union speech? (He did, last week!) How about asking every pediatrician and every primary care doc and every pastor and preacher (heck, place signs in every bus stop, subway, and grocery store for that matter) to educate each family to store firearms locked and unloaded, with ammunition locked separately, if a household member is at high risk for suicide? How about widespread movements to have the public certified in suicide prevention like so many of us are certified in CPR? How about offering NAMI Ending the Silence to every 9th grader to let them know about the warning signs of a mental health condition and what they can do? The list is endless.

“I know we all care. I’m ready to start talking, and doing; how about you?”

.
If you know someone who may need help? Please share this phone number for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline:  1-800-273-8255  24/7 . . .
No Shame. . .  No Labels. . . Not Alone Anymore. . .  God Bless All!

Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Author
http://www.amazon.com/Addicted-Dimes-Confessions-Liar-Cheat-ebook/dp/B00CSUJI3A

Yes, I’m Finally Back On The Internet! So How Was Your Recovery Summer? Mine Was Awesome!

Hello Recovery Friends & Welcome All,

 

.
Embedded image permalink
.
Recovery Is A Choice ~ And You Have To Want Your Life Back!

I’ve been off the grid for a week or so, as it was time for me to get out of the house and try some of the life skills I’ve learned to manage my disorder of agoraphobia, and getting a little taste of what the State of Arizona has to offer. I spent some wonderful days with my hubby as we went up North to Sedona and the Grand Canyon. I thought “Gods” country was only in the State of Oregon, but I was so wrong! It was so beautiful at both places. We stopped in Prescott to see my husbands sister’s old house they had built, and had raised their kids in. She had passed away a year ago due to intentional drug suicide of her psych-meds. We are still in a bit of shock over this a year later, but it brought back special memories for my husband of her, and we miss her so very much.

So I thought I would share how my summer and early fall has been, and what all I have been up to. On the personal side, I have started the phase of my Bipolar and Depression meds being changed. I had another full physical, and my liver count and cholesterol was to high. My psychiatrist thinks I have been on a couple my bipolar meds for to long, as psych meds can contribute to this problem. It’s why they do blood tests on me every 6 months. See, it can be pretty challenging to have to deal with all this when living in recovery, and having mental/emotional health problems. If I was still gambling and drinking, I wouldn’t be in the frame of mind to care about my health over all. That’s another area addictions will take away from you.
.
I’m also back in therapy for a while for some PTSD problems again. For some reason I’m having bad dreams again of my childhood abuse and trauma. I have been doing a lot of finishing touch’s on my next follow-up book from ~ “Addicted To Dimes” ( Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat ),  http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485/
So I’m wondering if it isn’t from that, as I have revisited some of my past hurt with writing my new book.
It’s why it is so important to have a well-balanced recovery to help you be strong over coming the rough spots of life, because for me, relapse is not an option, even though I will always be one bet away from devastation, recovery for me will be a life long journey. But I never thought I would not only get a second chance at life, but an even better life then before I became an addict!
.


.
Now, about my work and recovery side of this past summer, it was  filled with some exciting new ‘Guest Recovery Author’ radio shows. The first was on CL Gammon’s ‘Blog Talk Radio’ show, http://clgammon.webs.com/  and my favorite radio show I’ve done a few months ago was on ‘Peoples Internet Radio’ ~ Cancel The Cabal, by host: Stephen Roberts.  It was a 2 hour live stream interview on several broadcasts. We had many listeners as far away as the UK, Scotland, and Ireland! We also ahd callers and people on Facebook & Twitter asking me questions about my book, my recovery, and more.
.
Here is the ‘Podcast Link’ if you’d like to here the whole interview: Addicted to Dimes (Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat) Author Catherine Townsend Lyon  … Stephen and I talked about many aspects of gambling addiction, problem gambling, expansion of gambling Casinos and State Lotteries. From government making profits, to fill budget short falls, to how addicted gambling impacts our communities negatively. I shared a little of my book and story of how gambling addiction and alcohol abuse cost me way more than the money, it almost cost me my life! And I happily shot down all the myths of the detox and recovery treatment process one goes through when staring recovery. How to stay away from relapse, and much more! Those 2 hours just flew on by!
.

.Thank you for GRACE!
.
.

.
Also this summer, I hosted my  recovery #Addictionchat I attend on Twitter 2 times this summer. Many of us in recovery, or work in the addiction and recovery fields come and talk about addiction and recovery from all types of addictions through our twitter accounts. It’s how we inform, educate, and raise awareness about all addictions.
.
We decided not to take the summer off , and it was a lot of fun hosting. And yes, of course my topics were about problem and addicted gambling, and what helps me stay in recovery. So all my recovery friends & readers who visit are welcome to join us if your on Twitter. We meet every Wed night on for an hour-long Q & A session.
The times are 7 pm MST,  6pm PT, and  9pm ET …. It’s through Twitters TweetChat service link: http://tweetchat.com/ This is an easy live stream feed.
.
Another important activity I continue is my recovery journey as a  ‘Guest Blogger’ at Addictionland. It was started by Founder & Author, Cate Stevens. And  her new book also has released, and is available on Amazon Books, Barnes & Nobel Books, and on her helpful recovery/addiction website. There are many well-known guest recovery bloggers who share their experiences, strength and hope.
You can visit both and subscribe to any blog that you find helpful. Here is my blog link there: http://www.addictionland.com/kitcatlyon/ Becoming a member is free too!.

.
ABOUT CATE STEVEN’S BOOK:In this memoir, an upper middle class girl voted best looking and most likely to succeed develops and overcomes multiple, life threatening addictions. Addicts struggling to get help because of the stigma of addiction will connect to these powerful vignettes. Available Now!  Get the Book.  …
.
Now my next project was very exciting, and an honor to be interviewed, and be included in as well. It’s a well written, well-rounded, and well researched article about problem and addicted gambling’s cost to our public heaths in our states, which became a major media release article from Columbia University, NYC. It was researched and written by: Elaine Meyer, of the Epidemiology Dept. of Public Health there at the University. There were many wonderful, important contributors that were interviewed by Elaine.

She not only shared part of my story in her article, but she also shared my direct book link to Amazon too! Among those interviewed and shared beside myself were,  Arnie & Sheila Wexler & Associates, Les Bernal of Stop Predatory Gambling, and many more. Arnie himself has been on many major news broadcasts like, 60 Minutes, ABC’s Nightline to names a few. It was picked up by many national newspapers as well. It’s a fascinating, in-depth look into the gambling industry.

The title and link: Gambling with America’s Health?  It looks at all angles of how problem & addicted gambling has on our public health systems, costs, negative impacts on our population and local communities, and how now it’s even ‘touching’ our High School & College young adults.
.

AUTHOR BIO

Elaine Meyer

Elaine Meyer has worked as a journalist covering education and legal news. She graduated in 2009 with an M.S. from Columbia School of Journalism and is currently the associate director of communications for Columbia’s Department of Epidemiology, where she carries out the department’s mission of translating public health science to the larger public. Follow her on Twitter  @emeyer5 …

.
Now my next fun project was just resent.  I was given an exciting opportunity to write for the fine folks at Florida Beach Rehab and Treatment Center. They have an In Depth section of many helpful articles to read, and how others come share their addiction and recovery stories to others who visit their site. Welcome to Florida Beach Rehab, an addiction treatment center: http://www.floridabeachrehab.com   It is a great place to get clean and sober. They have excellent service for those who have dual diagnosis like myself when I first sought treatment for gambling addiction and alcohol.

.
They have asked if I’d like to write and share my story of addiction, dual diagnosis in both addictions and battle behavioral and mental/emotional illness. It can make recovery a wee bit harder to overcome addiction, but it’s one of the area’s the helpful folks here at Florida Beach Rehab can help you with.
My first article just so happens to be about this very topic; “How Behavioral Health Has Helped My Recovery” (the article link):
http://www.floridabeachrehab.com/how-behavioral-health-has-helped-my-recovery/
So I appreciated the invite to write and share my experiences with them on their website. Give them a call if you or a loved one needs help with addictions at: 1-877-593-5545, and they are located at: 4005 North Highway A1A  Hutchinson Island, Fort Pierce, FL  34949 … And you just never know? There just might be more articles to come.

.
Also this past summer, I began to really open up more, and have embraced more about my mental/emotional health issues. I got the chance to meet more new friends in recovery, and other new friends who also suffer with mental and emotional health and disorders. I’ve also done more work with others who have been through childhood trauma and abuse like myself. There are many wonderful websites and support groups out there to help. But the stigma around all these important issues is still huge. But for me, it’s important to let others know they do have a voice, and they are not alone, just like those in recovery from addictions.

So that’s pretty much what I have been up to this past summer and early fall. With my next book offerings, I have book 2 completed, and almost ready for publishing. Here is a Sneak Peek as the title will be, … (drum roll), LOL.
.

“I’m nobody, but I have something to say Damn It”!
(How to recover from gambling addiction, live with mental illness, and how to process childhood trauma).

Your thoughts on my book title?
My current book also has recieved more 5 Star Amazon Reviews to this summer.
.
Lastly, I have started a new venture in Book & Social Media Promotions on my new WordPress blog: http://anAuthorandWriterinProgress.wordpress.com
.
I offer affordable book and social media promoting services, and represent several fine authors. Come by and meet some pretty wonderful authors and their reads. I’m adding more interesting pages to this blog often. I even share my book reviews there too! So if you or someone you know has a book out, or one coming out soon? Please share my Lyon Book & Social Media Promotions blog, and have them check out my services page. I’ll make you and your book shine across the worldwide web.
.
So now I have shared all my recovery news, author and writer goings on this past summer, early fall.
So, …  how about telling me about yours? What did you do this past summer?

 

Much Happiness & Blessings Friends,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485

 

 

“Just Recovery with a side of Mental and Emotional Illness Please”…

Hello Recovery Friends, Seekers, and New Visitors,

.
I wanted to talk a little about “Dual Diagnosis,” and living life in recovery, and suffer with Mental/Emotional illness and disorders, which I am a person affected with these issues…

Two things happened yesterday to bring this topic to light for me. The first was this very topic was talked about last night on my Twitter Tweet-Chat, as was yesterday morning I got a call from my husband’s sister. She said she had bad news about my husband’s nephew Ricky. She had to talk him into checking himself into a mental crisis center via the ER. I guess he has battled severe depression for weeks and started to have thoughts of SUICIDE! So he did check himself in. See, he and his brother has had a really rough patch for the past 2 years. And, I’m now convinced my husband’s side of the family has problems with mental & emotional issues. Ricky and his brother only just lost their mom to “Intentional Suicide” drug overdose a year ago. She to was suffering mental illness, and started miss using her psych meds which then took all her meds and committed suicide.
.
So both boys have tried to process all that, AND, they lost their father the year before that suddenly of a massive heart attack. So the family has battled, and were trying to process it all. All three have had past problems with Bipolar and Severe Depression problems for some time now before all of this tragedy. We as a family did all we could to help the boys mom, but it’s hard watching a grown person 24/7 when you also are working full-time. So as far as Ricky having these issues now, really it doesn’t surprise me. He has so much going for him too! He just got out of the Air Force, after serving 8 years, and got on with Boeing Corp., which he was so happy about.
.
So it makes me sad to hear that now he is struggling. Many times we get so wrapped up in Life, that we lose our awareness of HOW we are feeling, especially if you have mental illness. I know I have done this myself from time to time. I to struggled with my mental and emotional disorders in early recovery from gambling addiction and alcohol abuse when I gambled. After my crisis center stay in 2002, which is when I was first diagnosed with Bipolar II with depression, and slight mania. And it’s really difficult working with behavioral professionals and doctors to get the proper meds for me, you at times feel like an experiment. Then, in 2006, I was back in a mental crisis center for the 2nd time, and not anything of gambling addiction. I had a total break down as 2 of my meds stopped working.

But I also made it worse by getting hooked on the thoughts of JUST WANTING TO BE NORMAL! So I stopped all my meds. Bad thing to do. I learned that lesson the HARD WAY. I attempted suicide for the 2nd time, and Thank the Lord I failed, or I wouldn’t be here right now sharing the importance of never screwing with your Psych Meds! I just had to come to acceptance that I have to treat my mental and emotional illness as if I was a diabetic, or have some other illness. I just kept asking GOD, “WHY ME? isn’t it bad enough that I have to live life in recovery, because I have no control over my obsessive nature & behavioral problems”? What the HELL is normal anyway? So I had to just accept what IS, and not get hung up on the Why’s? And I sure as HELL don’t let my mental & emotional limitations get in the way of what I love doing, and help others in recovery too.
.
So Ricky is in the care of professionals, and is safe. He knows he has the families support. But I still worry. The whole family is still worried. And for myself, it is at times a battle when I feel I’m stuck in a bipolar cycle, and if your aware of how your feeling, you can detect a rough patch so we use our life skills we learn to help get us through those rough patch’s. For the person going through it like myself, we have to be diligent with taking our meds properly, eating healthy, read and learn about your specific illness and disorders. And never feel like you CAN’T ASK FOR HELP if your just not feeling right.
.
I’m now going through a new phase of my own treatment of mental illness. Some of the psych meds we take can have other medical problems, and the one I’m having trouble with is my elevated blood pressure & cholesterol. So I’m going to have to change my meds again. But I will be doing so with the help of my primary doctor, and my psychiatrist. I have had blood work done, and a new brain MRI, and it’s amazing that they can show the colors of the scan, and places where you maybe having less, more, or none of depleted chemicals and area’s of the brain your having trouble with.
.
Now my psychiatrist says, besides the Agoraphobia I have, which came as a side effect from my years of addicted gambling, I’ve had problems now with PTSD & bad dreams from my childhood trauma & sex abuse. So it’s that experiment phase again! And I’m not looking forward to it. BUT,….. I will do what I need to do to stay balanced and healthy, because I know what can happen when I DON’T! My faith & hope gets me through a lot.
So when I saw these quotes, I wanted to share them here with this blog post, as they have much truth to them.
I know my higher power is always on my side. It was HE who told me NO to  my suicide attempts. He has worked Miracles in my life! And he can work them in yours to if you only listen and feel them.
.

Christian Today's photo.
.
.
Helping Others is what helps keep me in Recovery!

We Are Humanity's photo.Narcotics Anonymous's photo.
.
And yes, until you have experienced addiction, mental or emotional issues, many people don’t understand what we go through, what we face as daily challenges. It’s really time to speak-up and to speak-out about all these important issues. It’s why I write, blog, and share my own, so others who also suffer can know they are not alone, and that it is OK to talk about them. No one should feel shame because they suffer from mental/emotional illness or disorders. There is help available. Don’t wait until it’s to late, as suicide is NEVER an option. Not even to stop addiction. No matter where you have been, how far down that rabbit hole you may have fallen in, death is not the answer! It never should be! …
.

.

USA (& Canada) National Council on Problem Gambling Helpline
24 hours, 7 days a week, confidential Problem Gambling Helpline: 1-800-522-4700
.

National Suicide Prevention Hotline  1-800-273-8255  (24/7)
National Alliance On Mental Illness   1-800-950-6264 (M-F)
National Mental Hotline  1-800-662-4357 (24/7)
Disaster Distress Hotline  1-800-985-5990 (24/7)
Veterans Crisis Hotline  1-800-273-8255 (24/7)
National Domestic Violence Hotline  1-800-799-7233 (24/7)
National Child Abuse Hotline  1-800-422-4453 (24/7)
National Elder Abuse Hotline  1-800-677-1116 (9am/8pm)
.
God Bless All,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485
 

 

Recovery Is No Dog Walk In The Park~So Keep The Faith In Your HP!

Hello Recovery Friends, Seekers, and New Friends,

 

I came across this photo the other day from one of my favorite blogs, “Cute Overload” as to get some animal humor when I have a rough, stressed, and long day. This little doggies face looks like the same as the week I had! LOL. (Photo Courtesy Of
http://cuteoverload.com/

.
14282305499_313b173b4e_b
.

I’ve just had many recovery things on my mind, so I thought I would just empty them out of my head, and let the words fall on my keyboard. Thanks to all of my recovery friends here for being good listeners & readers. Having faith in our HP is the key to a successful! As he gives us a fresh new day to be gamble free, and have a new life in RECOVERY …


So
I went to church last night, because my hubby works today. And interesting enough, our pastor talked about having Hang-ups in life that cause pain in our lives. Why is it that when a topic is talked about, the lord makes you feel that it always pertains to your personal life be it past or present?

That is the spiritual power of awareness in recovery! Even in GA, where we celebrate non religious Unity & Fellowship, our Higher Power that we choose is always around us in those meetings. So our pastor talked also talked about how we need to learn to trust our lord by asking for a new life. Turn all the baggage, drama, hurt, and pains to him, and he will transform us into better human beings, blessed beyond measure when we truly ask for his forgiveness.

I had to do this myself for all that I had done wrong, not only in my life, but within my addiction. The people I hurt, hurting myself to the point of being Spiritually Broken.
At that time, deep in my gambling addiction, I could not do for myself what the lord could, and did in my life! We need to learn to trust him, and to believe that we all deserve a 2nd chance in life after the destruction of gambling addiction. It’s what he died for. He died so I can have awareness of my faults, wrongs, and character defects that gambling addiction shackled me with…

And we have to the work as well. That’s were a Sponsor is so important to us in attaining recovery too. They help guide us with our step work. You need to have a sponsor that is close by, not only available by phone. So you can meet together. A Sponsor can’t help you if you don’t answer your phone? If you’re in crisis, or relapse,… how are they to know why to find you if you hundreds of miles away? So find a good sponsor in your same community you live in.

One other area that for me was lacking in my GA meeting, because I lived at the time in a small community, and that was them conducting a “Pressure Relief group or meeting” by our trusted servants. They were not doing any. And many newbies need this to help with the stress and pressures of financial devastation that comes with addicted gambling. We need some sort of starting point to get our grip on our finances. So I ordered a couple of the packets used for this meeting and started them myself. The packets are a great tool to help get started on some financial relief.


So always remember that Spiritually your never alone as long as your aware of your HP. And we all know we need to turn all the baggage over to that power, and DON’T TAKE IT BACK!  We tend to do that as we start feeling good in early recovery. And just live each day,…. “Just For Today”… Tomorrow will be here soon enough, and yesterday is gone.

Another great tool is to journal. This is very helpful and how you can go back and see your growth from where you were, to where you are going in your recovery. You’ll be able to see and detect area’s you made need extra help or support.

 I still do this today. It’s also part of my mental health program I’m currently in with my psychiatrist. She says I’m still experiencing PTSD from my childhood that I’m not acknowledging which is contributing to my disorder of Agoraphobia. And the trauma of last year having to pack up our life and move here to Arizona so fast, that it too is having lasting effects. Go figure?

Just have faith in your Higher Power, and you won’t go wrong! …

God Bless All,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0984478485

 

“FEAR”….It’s In My Recovery, In My Mental Illness, And In My Past Pain Of Childhood Trauma”…

Hello And Welcome Recovery Friends & Seekers,

 

What does fear mean to you?
Do you live with any type of fear?
.
How can one word have so many different meanings? Even though FEAR happens to most people if we let it, fear comes in many different forms. Some fear we can control, but there is much about fear that we have no control over. Lets start with just the definition of FEAR:
.
fear
fi(ə)r/
noun
noun: fear; plural noun: fears
  1. 1.
    an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
    “drivers are threatening to quit their jobs in fear after a cabby’s murder”
anxiety, worry, angst, unease, uneasiness.
informalthe creeps, the shivers, the willies, the heebie-jeebies, jitteriness, twitchiness, butterflies (in the stomach)
“he felt fear at entering the house”
informalhang-up
“she overcame her fears”
  • archaic
    a mixed feeling of dread and reverence.
    “the love and fear of God”
  • a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety and well-being of someone.
    “police launched a search for the family amid fears for their safety”
verb
verb: fear; 3rd person present: fears; past tense: feared; past participle: feared; gerund or present participle: fearing
  1. 1.
    be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.
    “he said he didn’t care about life so why should he fear death?”
    synonyms: be afraid of, be fearful of, be scared of, be apprehensive of, dread, live in fear of, be terrified of;

    be anxious about, worry about, feel apprehensive about
    “she feared her husband”
    have a phobia about, have a horror of, take fright at
    “he fears heights”
    • feel anxiety or apprehension on behalf of.
      “I fear for the city with this madman let loose in it”
      synonyms: worry about, feel anxious about, feel concerned about, have anxieties about More

      “they feared for his health”
    • used to express regret or apology.
      “I’ll buy her book, though not, I fear, the hardback version”
    • archaic
      regard (God) with reverence and awe.
      synonyms: stand in awe of, revere, reverence, venerate, respect More

      “all who fear the Lord”
Origin
Old English fǣr ‘calamity, danger,’ fǣran ‘frighten,’ also ‘revere.’

.
What stands out the most about the word fear is the words, scared, frightened, apprehensive.
See, I have many different types of fear I live and struggle with daily! Some comes from recovery, some come from my mental illness disorders, and even though I have 7yrs from the bet,  from gambling addiction, I still have a couple amends fears I still need to work through.
The biggest at the moment is the one with my own father.
.
That’s a whole other blog post. I have guilt about this one amends as I’m now only 4 hours away from where my dad lives, as opposed to when I was still living in So. Oregon, which is an 11 1/2 hour drive. I have to get past the fear of my father turning me away if I was to go down and visit, and try to make an amends with him since it has been 9 years since he has spoken to me, and for a reason I have no clue of. So I guess in the back of my mind I feel that I wasn’t the one who stopped communicating with him, so why should I have to make the amends?

.

.
But as we all know in recovery, we need to be the better person regardless, and I need to at least try. I know that. But knowing and doing are very two different things. The other huge fear I have in the amends department is the one to my Best Friend! I’ll call her Deb. What prompted this whole “Fear Thing” was, yesterday I found out my best friend Deb’s dad passed away on May 8th, last month. My heart fell into my stomach. Deb and her family moved next door to us in So. Calif. when we were 13 years old, her and I. We had done everything together. Sleep overs, school, dating, and more! We were like sisters. This month we actually would have been friends for 37 years! But because of my addiction, we became estranged. She went into AA, and I was still gambling my Ass Off! I didn’t try, or reach out for recovery from addicted gambling and alcohol abuse until a year and half later.
.
But within that year and a half I had done some pretty bad things to her, again, another whole future blog post. But with her going to AA, I thought, “well she would understand some day how stupid I was within my addiction, and that I never meant to hurt her.” We had been friends to long for that. I also thought, “well, she is in AA so she will understand the whole forgive and amends thing right”?  WRONG! She also has the choice to not forgive and not be friends, which is what happened. SO,….. that’s another amends I need to get done. But that stupid, freaking, FEAR keeps holding me back!
.
Or am I using it as an excuse because of fear of rejection, of being hurt myself? Then I have the fears that come along with my daily challenges of mental illness on top of the recovery fear challenges, and it all sometimes gets a bit overwhelming for me some days. So I’m currently working on my fears, dissociation, depression, and agoraphobia with panic with my mental health psychiatrist and councilor on life skills to help me through all this. I also was asked by them to journal at the end of each day the “thoughts” I tell myself of why I don’t follow through on the things I want to do outside my home, but my fear from the agoraphobia holds me hostage! I felt like telling my councilor, I don’t have a discussion going on in my head all day, or talk to myself! But he says I’m doing it in my conscience somewhere. What Ever….
.
Here is what ‘Agoraphobia fear’ definition:

Breaking down the term agoraphobia gives us its literal definition.
A phobia is an intensely irrational fear. This meaning suggests that agoraphobia is an intense and abnormal fear of open or public places. But, this definition falls short in explaining the true meaning of this condition.
.
For the agoraphobic, the fear is not necessarily associated with open spaces. The central feature of agoraphobia is intense fear (panic response) of being in certain situations in which escape is difficult or potentially embarrassing, or where help is not readily available. This may include many places that would not meet the definition of open spaces, including many confined spaces. Such situations may include leaving home alone, being home alone, traveling by car, train or bus, being in an elevator, being in a crowd, being in a large store or mall, being on a bridge or standing in a line.
.
The fear associated with agoraphobia results in behavioral changes in order to avoid feared situations. An individual with agoraphobia may survey settings for escape routes and avoid situations where an exit is not easily available. This leads to avoidant behavior that may include only driving on certain roads, always sitting near the door in meeting or school settings, avoiding crowded places, or avoiding any place where it may be difficult to get to an exit. In extreme cases, the fear may become so consuming that the individual will not leave the house alone or becomes homebound altogether.
.
Now there is more, but I don’t want to bore you death!…LOL. But the key word we see over and over is FEAR. So, am I doomed to never be a part of life, part of the living, enjoying all the outdoors has to offer me? At this point, I don’t know. I take each day as it comes. I do however, feel the trauma I endured as a child plays a big part in this big nasty mix of things. It definitely made it difficult for me to feel close to my father when I was younger, and into my teens. But I have had worked hard to get through all that, as it was/is part of my recovery work and therapy, what happened to me was not my father’s fault when I was a little girl. And it was not my fault either.
.
I also think I had a set back from the quick and traumatic move that happened this pass Sept 2013, from having to make the choice for my hubby’s job to move from SO. Oregon to Glendale, AZ. I really don’t care for the desert, it’s why I moved from So. Calif. to SO. Oregon when I was only 25 years old. I wanted away from the heat, smog, and long drive for work. Our lives began there, my husband and I, and lived there for 26 years. I miss if very much. And don’t get me started about the whole move and drive for 2 days to get here. AWFUL!!
.
I’ll close with an Inspirational Quote….
.

.
Recovery has given me a life now with no regrets…. just a few things to do.
.
Happiness & Blessings All,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

pic

My Agoraphobia ~~ Just A Little Poem….

MY AGORAPHOBIA…….

The nighttime passed and slips into day, within these walls I seem to stay.

My fright and fear seems to really build, as I long for a day with Magic filled.

I open my blind to take a peek, my head gets some fuzz and my heart gets meek.

I look at the sky I seem to dizzy, my heart just goes in a tizzy.

Within these days my heart race’s, just to be around all those happy face’s.

I look across the room to the door, wishing my steps could let me soar.

A Soul that steep’s to just be normal, seems to elude with torment so primal.

To step outside a fear so strong, my panic sets in easy as a song.

So as another day passed into night, I lay my head down with tears and fright.

Depressed and sad I hate this way, lord make this disease just go away.

As my head and heart can’t seem to follow, I sit within these walls to wallow.

For one of these days I’ll knock down that door, lace up my shoes to let my Heart Soar.

I’ll walk down that street with stride and pride, to someday get to that ocean’s tide.

So bring on the night so peaceful and tried, one of these days my Wings will FLY.

Yes one of these day’s I’ll rid this Disease,  only these walls I call friends it seems…..

*WHAT IS AGORAPHOBIA?*….

Panic disorder with agoraphobia……

Panic disorder with agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder in which a person has attacks of intense fear and anxiety. There is also a fear of being in places where it is hard to escape, or where help might not be available.A.D.A.M.

Agoraphobia usually involves fear of crowds, bridges, or of being outside alone.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

The exact causes of panic disorder and agoraphobia are unknown. Because panic attacks often occur in areas or situations where they have happened in the past, panic may be a learned behavior. Agoraphobia sometimes occurs when a person has had a panic attack and begins to fear situations that might lead to another panic attack.

Anyone can develop a panic disorder, but it usually starts around age 25. Panic disorder is more common in *women* than men.

Symptoms

Panic attacks involve short periods of intense anxiety symptoms, which peak within 10 minutes.

With agoraphobia, you avoid places or situations because you do not feel safe in public places. The fear is worse when the place is crowded.

Symptoms of agoraphobia include:

  • Being afraid of spending time alone
  • Being afraid of places where escape might be hard
  • Being afraid of losing control in a public place
  • Depending on others
  • Feeling detached or separated from others
  • Feeling helpless
  • Feeling that the body is not real
  • Feeling that the environment is not real
  • Having an unusual temper or agitation
  • Staying in the house for long periods of time

Signs and tests

People who first experience panic sometimes fear they have a serious illness, or are even dying. Often, people will go to an emergency room or other urgent care center because they think they are having a heart attack.

A physical examination and psychological evaluation can help diagnose panic disorder. It is important to rule out any medical disorders, such as problems involving the heart, hormones, breathing, nervous system, and substance abuse. Which tests are done to rule out these conditions depends on the symptoms.

Treatment

The goal of treatment is to help you feel and function better. The success of treatment usually depends in part on how severe the agoraphobia is.

The standard treatment approach combines cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) with an antidepressant medication.


** AUTHOR, CATHERINE TOWNSEND-LYON **
http://www.simplesite.com/CatherineLyonAddictedToDimes My Book/Writer Blog.

Dear Diary, Today I…..(Last Entry of Life Change at 50!)

HAPPY CATURDAY FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS, & NEW PEEKERS!,

Today I have had a little “Meeting with God” as the house we are staying in with my husband’s family was all to myself at 6am. The reason for the little Pow Wow with me and the lord was to ask for *Forgiveness* for this past week. I have had a lot on my Heart & Mind this past week as reviewing all that my husband & I have been going through since all this LIFE CHANGE started 4 weeks ago with the Eviction papers from our Landlord.

I was not going to post until Sunday or Monday, as I’m Supposed to be on vacation this 1st week here in Arizona, but I have much on my mind. As I read through my Diary Posts, I noticed a few things about myself…….I NEEDED some CHEEZE to go with my Whine..ING!!
So when I got up this morning and went out and put my legs and feet in the swimming pool, me and the lord had a little TALK……

It seems I have had a BAD ATTITUDE, instead of being GRATEFUL for all the lord has done for me these past weeks. I was in a “ME” syndrome……..and not looking ahead to our future, and NEW LIFE Beginning. When all this first started I was ANGRY at my landlord for causing so much STRESS in our life. But, it really was not his fault.

But ANGER took over, than SHOCK, then sadness and depression & FEAR.
Fear of the unknown. THIS comes from my Panic & Agoraphobia disorders.
But still not an excuse for me not SEEING the bigger picture our Lord was trying to present to us.

So with my Heart, Ears, and Mind OPEN to hear what he was telling me, was that sometimes you have to be Uncomfortable in order for CHANGE to come into your life, to just follow his PATH he has laid out before you, as he close’s One chapter, and OPENS another.  And, he has done that for us so far. It was my Mental & Emotional illness and disorders that were getting in my way,  Again, to see the bigger picture.

Agoraphobia for me has been very debilitating, as it is VERY Difficult to deal with changes like this. It’s hard just to walk out my front door weeks at a time. So, I had to keep telling myself that I’m only going from ONE set of walls of our apartment, to a NEW set of walls in a New Home.

But that did not stop the Panic Attacks I had on the way down to Arizona. I had a bad one going through the Lake Shasta area of Northern Calif., as it had been years since I’d rode in a car for a long distance. The last time was back in 2005, and that was only a 3 hour ride.  So once we got through the mountains my hubby Tom pulled into a Rest Stop so I could take a few more medications to get me through. It made me feel WEAK as a person, and tried to understand HOW I got to this point in my life with these mental and emotional disorders and challenges!!

It seemed the ONLY thing that helped was think of *Waterfalls*….the cool mist of the spray of water on my face, and close my eyes and pretend I was right next to one.
It did help a lot, and the half of a tranquilizer my doctor gave me for the trip.
We made it to the motel we stopped at.

The other thing I kept thinking of was seeing my Nephew Mark & his family the next day. I had not seen Mark since my mom passed away in 2003. Most of my family stopped talking to me once they found I had an addicted gambling problem, but got even worse when they found I had bipolar 2 disorder as well.

Mark had reached out to me and Tom when he found our phone number and called us out of the blue this past Christmas. I was SO HAPPY!! We had been talking ever since, and we made it to Redlands, CA where he lives on Saturday early afternoon, and met for lunch & spent 2 hours visiting!! That made the WHOLE TRIP for me.. 🙂
I met my Great Niece for the first time. Just an awesome visit. Then we made it to Arizona around 6pm.

Now here is when the lord said, “Catherine, you need to stop the complaining,
as your NOT the only one who needs adjusting to this situation, you have 6 other people who are effected by all this change. Stop thinking about yourself, and have Kindness & Patients with everyone else”….Yes Lord.

I know that sitting in he lords Word & Gospel helps me to be more Outside myself, and to a Heart full of *GRADTITUDE* toward others who are only trying to help us. We all have our Little Quirks, I just need to be more sensitive toward others, and keep my heart, mind, and ears open as the lord guides us in this New Adventure.

The past week was a Wee Bit rough around the edges as everyone started to adjust and settle into this new Family Dynamic, but I think will get there! As for the Lords path for us, It has begun, he has blessed us with Tom getting his transfer to another New Store here in Arizona.

He went yesterday to get all his paper work done, and starts on Monday at his store for Safeway…….another blessing. We also found 2 openings where his sisters work with disabled children, and he applied for a Van Driver for there outings and classroom aide.
So you never know what maybe around the corner.

AS for myself, I’m also settling in my New space. One good thing so far is I had NO Panic Attacks this past week, just some High Anxiety. My depression has been better too!

Must be all the sunny weather. I have found going outside by the pool in the early morning has been my “Little Sanctuary” to Relax my mind and soul for a while, as I hear
the Waterfalls softly flowing with my eyes closed and my feet in the cool pool water.
Sometimes, even if it’s just in our heads…….We can find Peace & Serenity around us anywhere and anytime, if we just Keep our Faith, keep our Hearts, Minds, and Ears
open to the lord. AS he has never disappointed me, even with this Life Change, and New Beginning.

So as for my whine & complaints, I’ve asked my lord for forgiveness for that, and to help me continue to be Patient, Kind, and understanding of others around me. As long as he is with us each step of the way on this New Journey, I need to know this whole experience is not just ALL about ME!

It’s about New beginnings, New Starts, both in life and financially. I have NO idea what is in store for us at this point, but it is kind of exciting to see where our journey will LEAD.
So for that I’m Truly Blessed!

God Bless my Friends, and have a wonderful weekend…..
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon