Honesty In Recovery Means Swallowing Your Pride. It’s About Accountability.

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Recovery Tip of The Week!

“When we learn to Swallow our Pride and put Ego Aside? It makes room in our Recovery, to be HONEST, BE RESPONSIBLE, and BECOME ACCOUNTABLE.”

It Just Might Help Make Your Recovery Journey Much Smoother and a Successful One!

ODAAT Recovery Friends!

Author & Recovery Columnist,
Catherine Townsend-Lyon

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4 Times to Be Brutally Honest with Yourself By: Aleksandre McMenamin.

Hello and Welcome Recovery Friends,

 

Today I have a wonderful new guest author who has an important article we all can learn from. I enjoy having many guest author’s here on my blog to share what topics are important to them in living a well-balanced recovery life. So todays guest author is Aleksandre McMenamin.
I hope we all learn something new we can use in our own recovery journey …

 

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We, as human beings, have a strong tendency to see what is wrong in other people’s lives. However, when it comes to our own, such intuition often fails us. A vast amount of people on this planet live day-to-day being dishonest with themselves, and are failing to correct problems their lives as a result of it. This is why it is often important that we take a stance of brutal honesty when looking at the issues in our lives. Besides, if you can’t be honest with ourselves, then we’re really just living a lie…

Struggling with addiction

It can be incredibly difficult to approach your addiction with a degree of self-honesty. This is because addiction is a mental disease that makes self-introspection quite challenging. However, that only makes such brutal honesty even more important. You won’t be able to get the best from treatment unless you are honest with yourself and others. And if you can’t admit to yourself, honestly, that you are suffering from addiction and need help, how can you ever expect to fight it and get better? Being honest in these difficult times will help you keep your loved ones close, instead of pushing them away. For more information about honesty and addiction, check out this incredibly useful blog post here.

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Failing relationships

Whether you are in a long-time marriage with someone, or you have just been dating for a good while, honesty with yourself and your partner is the most important bedrock of any wonderful relationship. This includes being brutally honest in times when the relationship is less than satisfactory. Is it not working? Is it not going anywhere? These are questions that you need to have answered for the sake of both you and your partner. Failing to be honest and deal with these issues head on is likely only going to make the situation get worse as more time passes, and that isn’t good for anybody! This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to cut off a relationship with somebody you love to be honest with yourself, but usually something definitely has to change for it to keep working.

Your job isn’t working

The time that we spend at work makes up a considerable amount of time in our lives. Many people spend well over half of their waking hours at a job. For this reason, it’s incredibly important to be honest with yourself about how you feel about the place where you work. Life is too short to be stuck in a dead-end job that you will hate for hours on end. Continuing to live like this will only bring you great unhappiness in all aspects of your life (not just work). This is neither good for you, nor that place where you work. So why continue to work at a place if you are terribly unhappy there? How can you expect anything to get better if you don’t admit to yourself that this isn’t the place for you? If your finances can allow it, you need to be honest with yourself and make a change.

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Poor personal health

The body and health that many people have usually doesn’t exactly align with the body and health that they want. This doesn’t mean that most people aren’t healthy or decent lifestyles, but they may be setting expectations for themselves that they aren’t truly working at meeting. This can lead to a path of self loathing for no good reason, at all. Do you keep telling yourself that you are eating healthy and have a great workout schedule, only to consistently cheat at both of them?

This is a slippery slope to making more and more unhealthy decisions that will make you feel worse about yourself. It’s important to be honest about your expectations with yourself and whether you are really working towards them. Why keep expecting yourself to do these things if you don’t really want to commit? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to eat the extra cake, but at least be honest with yourself so you don’t feel as though you are lying about it. This will lead a much happier lifestyle, overall …

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Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Author and Recovery Advocate
“Addicted To Dimes”

Product Details
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“Life Is To Short To Be Unhappy In Recovery”!

Hello And WELCOME Recovery Friends, Seekers, and New Friends,

 

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Can We Have The GOOD LIFE In Recovery? Can We Be HAPPY?


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I just happened to be tweeting on my Recovery Twitter here @LUV_Recovery and came across this pic. I just seemed to gravitate to it, and my mind started to WONDER!…LOL.
And we all know what seems to happen when my “Recovery Mind” does that so look out!  You never know what falls out of my mouth and into a Recovery Blog Post! I always blame that part of my mouth on just being an Italian! Yeah I know, excuses, excuses. And where did I learn that “habit”? Need I go on?
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But seriously, when I seen this, it made me think of many things when I was still addicted gambling and drinking. The BIG thing was the time lost from my life that I will never get back. That’s why it is true when people say, “Life Is To Short.” What about being happy? When we were in the throes of our addiction, happy to me meant having to lie about how I was really feeling inside myself. You know what I mean right? How we learned to “mask” our true feelings on the BAD DAYS we were having in our addictions. Trying to make our outer person look perfect to others. Those fake smiles, and brag about how much money I was winning when I gambled, but really wasn’t! All the while the “RAGE” of shame, doubt, hate, blame, low self-worth, and feeling, “LESS THAN” each time we used or gambled. For me it got even worse when I first tried to stop gambling and drinking. Because each time I gambled, I entered the “RECOVERY TWILIGHT-ZONE”!!
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Now I know you KNOW what I’m talking about right? It’s that long period when we think we can GET better by going to meetings, and try treatment, but we really haven’t Surrendered Yet. That time when SHIT we hear in our meetings and treatment group starts to sink in just a wee little bit, but we are still in the mindset that we can still CONTROL bits and pieces of our addiction right? Who were we fooling? NOBODY! Just ourselves! BUT, then this “stuff” we hear starts to interrupt our addiction a little here and there. I remember when I started an outpatient gambling treatment group and therapy, one of the first things my councilor said to us was this, “Even if you come here to treatment group, and still go out and use (drink & gamble), these things we teach you will start to POP UP in your head WHILE your out using.”
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And you know what? She was SPOT ON! When I’d relapse and go out and gamble, all this crap I was learning started to make an appearance in my mind and thinking! Gosh it annoyed the hell out me! For me, at first in early recovery, it made me feel even more doubtful, self loathing and low self-worth. See, recovery is a process, a life long process. No, lapse & relapse does not have to be part of one’s recovery, but it does happen for some. WHAT’S the difference you ask?
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A “lapse” is just a “ONE TIME SLIP”…..a “relapse” is when you have that slip, but you continue back into the “Cycle” of the addiction, and you relapse over and over. I did this a lot on and off until 2006, after 2 crisis center stays, and after attempting 2 failed SUICIDES, most recent was in 2006. I got myself tangled in a criminal event from my gambling addiction. That’s when I started, and got a foot hold of long-term recovery working with an Addictions Specialist,  intense therapy, and 3 GA Meetings a week for a whole year. That was my first goal. Seriously work and give it a year to start.
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I also got a sponsor and finally started in-depth step work. I was at the point of being “Sick and Tired of being Sick and Tired”….Really the biggest 1st Step we have to take in the start of our recovery is, TRULY admitting to ourselves and another that gambling and alcohol had me beat to HELL. I had lost everything, almost my marriage and husband and my LIFE. It was time to grown up, work hard in my recovery, PUT IT FIRST, and get my LIFE BACK! I think some of the thoughts and feelings I had for thinking what I was doing in my addiction was OK was I felt like a “Victim” of my past Childhood Trauma and Abuse.
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So I felt a sense of entitlement, which we all know is horse shit! I needed to finally feel and walk though all that passed PAIN, HURT, and FEAR of all of that.  PLUS, what I had done to others and myself within my addiction! In order to REAP the RECOVERY REWARDS later years later, to really get what seems so “ELUSIVE” in the start of recovery, and what all of us in Recovery want, just some “PEACE & SERENITY,”……you have to do the work in order to achieve it, not be “Given It.” You know me, I don’t sugar coat recovery to anyone. Working recovery is serious and I always “share” from personal experience. It will be the hardest work you ever do in life.
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So, the BAD news is, you have to work hard in early recovery and beyond. Make those GA, AA, NA or what ever meetings that help support your recovery through *Fellowship and Unity.* You need to start your 12-Step work as well, or what ever recovery program you choose to help you have a balanced recovery. Some important things is re-learn healthy “Mind & Body” life balance. Start a journal, read those materials that are “given” to you at meetings and in treatment. ”
“THEY REALLY DO HELP,” and help guide you by learning, being informed, and tells you about your addiction.
A support PHONE LIST is very important in early recovery. People you can call to help you through “Urges & Triggers.” And get back those healthy habits and hobbies you enjoyed in life, before all your time got sucked up by your addiction.
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The fabulous news of recovery? YOU GET YOUR LIFE BACK! Yes, it will take time, so learn patients. But it will come.
The more you work your recovery, the more of your life you get back in return. And a much BETTER LIFE at that!
Again, Recovery is a life long process, not an inconvenience. As before you know it, you’ll having years in recovery, not minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months. You’ll have YEARS of recovery time, and that’s when the “GOOD LIFE” really starts to happen!! It’s when all the hard work you put into your recovery gets good! You finally get to enjoy that early “elusive” in recovery, PEACE, CALM, and SERENITY. You can then start to “Pay It Forward” by being strong in your own recovery, to then help and support others as being of recovery service to others.
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So, Just Breath In Deep,……AWE, DO YOU FEEL IT YET? I SURE DO! It’s called “Success In Recovery”…
“AWE,…. THE GOOD LIFE”!
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May God Bless You All,
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon
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