Do You Feel Validated While Maintaining Recovery? Special Guest Post By Marilyn Fowler . . . Do You Feel Validated?

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Here some questions we need to ask ourselves and ponder while maintaining our RECOVERY. Because Validation is an important aspect of recovering from addictions.


Do You Feel Validated?
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Do You Allow Others Opinions Determine How You Feel?
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Is Being “In Self” at Times Can Be a Good Thing? YES!

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Validation–that sense of self as unique, worthy, and valued, with a connection with others and the universe. Validation, with no judgment, is vital for inner peace and happiness, and without it, you may feel you don’t matter. You may even feel invisible. In other words, validation requires unconditional recognition, acceptance, and appreciation for the whole person you are.

You may remember when someone lifted your spirits, and you felt good about yourself. And you may remember when some put you down, and you felt like a nothing inside. So others have the power to validate positive and negative, and you go through the ups and downs of how others make you feel.

Most of us get some positive validation from others, but there are those who live their whole life with a self-image of nothingness. When I worked in the jail, I counseled the homeless mentally ill. Sometimes I told them I saw their bright mind and good heart, and they could do something with their life. Their reaction was always the same. They’d pause, overwhelmed with tears, and say, “Nobody ever said that to me…nobody.” Then they’d wipe their tears on their shirt sleeve and smile. Validation gave them some meaning in their empty life.

We need to let each other know we’re important and appreciated, but in order to gain dominion over our own feelings, we need to learn self-validation from within. What would it be like if you validated yourself, and didn’t need it from anyone else? You would have dominion over your feelings, and it would prevent opinions by others from invalidating you. And you’d be free.

“The only permission, the only validation, and the only opinion that matters in our quest for greatness is our own.”  ~Steve Marboli

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Self-validation – is a life-long process, and our experiences teach us what we need to know about ourselves. We become less critical; we gain more understanding and tolerance of our total self, and we free ourselves to be who we truly are. We don’t create a new person. We simply allow our true authentic ‘Self’ to emerge.

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So how do you learn self-validation with the strength to maintain it?

1.  Assume the role of an observer, and think about how you really feel about you. Sad, wounded, pretty good, could be better, disappointed, etc. No judgment. Just observe and let it be.


2.  You don’t have to like every feeling you have, but you do need to own all of your feelings. They’re yours. They belong to you. And you can do whatever you want with them. Throw them in the trash, hang them on the wall, get a refund. Notice when you’re feeling judgmental, and decide you’re done with that feeling. Take judgment and criticism out of your life forever.

3.  Identify and list what you consider positive and negative about you. Decide what you want to keep and what you want to release.

An Example:  I interrupt people when they’re talking. I can release that one.
I let dishes pile up in the sink. It’s okay to do that. (Smile) etc.

4.  Start being kind to you, and know you deserve it. Give yourself what you missed as a child; begin giving yourself what you seek from others; when you feel unhappy or stressed, ask what you need, and when possible provide it for yourself; watch for success and praise yourself.

5.  Accept mistakes and shortcomings as part of your learning process, and every day, look in the mirror and say, “This is me, warts and all. And I’m absolutely amazing.”

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As you move along, practice relating less to your human self and more to your Higher Self, that part that transcends human pain and knows the truth of who you are. Take back your dominion over how you feel, and let that higher Self-shine with love and peace in your heart. You are beautiful.

May you always be true to your special Self.  ✔💕✨✨💕

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Celebrate Recovery! My Girls Are At It Again With A New Guest Recovery Article By: Author Alyssa Craig.

Hello and Welcome Recovery Friends,

 

I hope your 4th of July weekend was FABULOUS! Mine was pretty quite. But my recovery girls Rachel and Alyssa were at it again with another helpful Recovery Article Share for all of us. I feel it is important to have many insights and views about recovery. So I enjoy sharing many other authors views and articles here. Today Alyssa is Celebrating Recovery with us in this new Guest Post.
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Celebrating Addiction Recovery Victories in Healthy Ways
Author: Alyssa Craig

Multi Generation Family Enjoying Meal In Garden Together

Multi Generation Family Enjoying Meal In Garden Together

 

Why Celebrate?
As humans, we celebrate milestones and accomplishments often, from birthdays to graduations. But why do we do it and how does it fit into addiction recovery? Develop an Attitude of Gratitude: Celebrations give us a chance to express gratitude for the things that are going well in life.

Appreciation: By giving appreciation and attention to our accomplishments, we can more deeply enjoy what we have achieved.

Honor Life: This is a concept that often takes a backseat during addiction. Remember to value life itself.

Recognition: Addiction recovery is difficult. Celebrations allow us and our loved ones to acknowledge our accomplishments and milestones.

Thank Support: Celebrations draw family and friends together for a happy purpose and when it comes to addiction recovery, it allows us to also celebrate having a solid support system.

Positivity: By giving focus to milestones, it helps to reinforce positive behavior and a positive attitude.

Self-Assessment: Milestones give us an opportunity for honest self-assessment. It gives us a chance to see how far we have come.

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Which Addiction Milestones Should Be Celebrated?
What may be a difficulty for one person may not be for another, so you will have to determine for yourself what constitutes a need for celebration. As a general guideline be sure to include the following in your celebrations:

  • A Day/Week/Month/Year of Sobriety: It is up to you how often you will celebrate, but these are easy milestones to select from. The one month milestone in particular is important as this is when withdrawal symptoms are worst. After the first month, cravings subside and addiction related physical changes improve significantly which can be a great psychological boost.

  • Returning to School or Work: Getting a new job or returning your focus to your education is a big deal, as these areas probably took a hit during your addiction.

  • Sustaining a Healthy Relationship: Family, friendships, and romantic relationships tend to suffer when a person is suffering from an addiction. If you have repaired or sustained a relationship that would not have previously been possible, that is worth celebrating.

    More Ways To Celebrate:
    Once you are ready to celebrate, you may want some suggestions. Here are some ways you can acknowledge the hard work you have done, the things you have overcome, all without a fear of relapse.

    Express Gratitude Daily: Celebrate each day with a dose of expression of gratitude. This might be a mental list, an entry in a gratitude journal, or writing a note of thanks to someone who has helped you.

    Clean, Sober & Gamble Free Party: One fear of a party is the presence of alcohol or drugs, but by planning your own party, you can control this. You will find your friends and family to be supportive and you will have a great time. Find great ways to replace old party habits with suggestions such as the ones listed here.

    Athletic Event: If you have worked on improving your physical health, this might be a great time to participate in an athletic event as a celebration of your stronger, healthier body and well-balanced recovery.

    Volunteering: Paying it forward is always a great way to celebrate your victories. Look for ways to help in your community or even with an addiction recovery program near you. It is likely someone could benefit from your knowledge of obstacles you have faced in recovery.

    Take a real Vacation: Travel is a great way to broaden your horizons, experience a new culture and get away from it all. Set a goal for yourself in your recovery and once you have reached it, reward yourself with a dream vacation.

    Treat Yourself: Practice self-love by creating a rewards system for different types of milestones. Think of what you would like to achieve and what you will get at each level. New outfits, a gadget you’ve been wanting, signing up for a class to learn a new hobby, or indulging in a little treat are all great ways to celebrate your efforts.
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Addiction recovery is a difficult, ongoing challenge and you deserve to celebrate your achievements and successes. Not only will it help reinforce a positive attitude and perspective, but you may also find a way to serve those around you, helping to build others up as you continue to progress.

Courtesy of Author, Alyssa Craig 🙂