I Welcome Best-Selling Self-Help Author Kaden James. His Books & Advice Can Help Those Who Maintain Recovery…

I Welcome Best-Selling Self-Help Author Kaden James. His Books & Advice Can Help Those Who Maintain Recovery…


How Do You To Stop Worrying About What Others Think?


By KADEN JAMES


How you feel about yourself is more important than how others feel about you. 

Focusing on what others think of us changes us, not always in big, noticeable ways but more often very subtly. 

If we hear a negative comment said about us in passing. This comment may eat away at us over time. The thought may come up so often that it becomes a belief about ourselves. 

We might read a negative comment and take it to heart without even considering the source. For instance, I have known people who stop wearing bright colors because someone said they didn’t look good on them. I have had clients who told me they would alter their voice or quiet their laugh because of something someone said. Your laugher is a gift just like what brought it out of you.

The words of others can profoundly affect the way we show up in the world. If we hear negative words we might start to think we are unattractive, untalented, no good, or unlovable. If we don’t grow strong enough in our own self-confidence we could go through life never fully stepping up to the moment, missing out on opportunities to experience joy and we may never offer up what we have to give. 

The way we release ourselves from the opinions of others is to realize everyone has one. There are people that hate the color blue, can’t stand pizza, don’t like dogs, it’s hard to believe I know. Well, if there are people who don’t like blue, pizza and Scooby-Doo of course some people won’t like you and it’s probably the same people. 

We get to choose what opinions we let in. Seek advice with care, from people you trust and respect. For example, if you want relationship advice it’s probably not the best idea to ask your friend who is always dating another guy and seems to have a lot of problems when it comes to relationships. That person may however be the best person to take your pics and update your dating app profile. All jokes aside though, remember to consider who you are going to for feedback. 

When someone insults you with absolutely no love in their approach block it out. You choose what you let in and what you focus on, so choose nurturing and loving thoughts. You are ultimately in control of your thoughts and feelings. No one can make you feel anything without your consent. Which means what we feel is a choice.

Let’s choose to feel good and feel confident.

Confidence sign with a beautiful day.jpeg



Another thing to keep in mind is to realize that everyone makes mistakes. We are all learning and growing and as we are kind to ourselves and love ourselves we make better choices.

Now I have a couple of questions for you. Are you supportive of others? Are you a kind person? If the answer is yes and yes -RIGHT ONNN! Keep up the great work! Continue to build your self-love like you’re a bodybuilder in the gym.

Make that muscle so strong that when a trashy comment is flung at you or verbal punches are thrown they just bounce off and have little or no effect. If you answered “no” and you aren’t currently supportive or kind, work on it. What you give is what you receive so if you give love and you’ll get it. Give kindness and you’ll get it, have the cycle of hurt end with you. 

It’s time to feel good about you and make wise choices for yourself. You deserve love and to live a life you love.

#########

ED Note: I want to also share with you another topic we all can use some brush-up on when maintaining recovery or especially when begining our recovery path.

That is in the area of being 100% RESPOSIBILITY. Take a watch and listen to this quick YouTube Video Kaden has done all about taking and being 100% reponsible, honest, and transparent.


You can connect with Kaden James on social media & visit his website.
 
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Kaden James, Author & Life Wellness Coaching.

Kaden James, Author & Wellness Coach
kadenjames.allauthor.com



Dear Diary, Today I…..(Last Entry of Life Change at 50!)

HAPPY CATURDAY FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS, & NEW PEEKERS!,

Today I have had a little “Meeting with God” as the house we are staying in with my husband’s family was all to myself at 6am. The reason for the little Pow Wow with me and the lord was to ask for *Forgiveness* for this past week. I have had a lot on my Heart & Mind this past week as reviewing all that my husband & I have been going through since all this LIFE CHANGE started 4 weeks ago with the Eviction papers from our Landlord.

I was not going to post until Sunday or Monday, as I’m Supposed to be on vacation this 1st week here in Arizona, but I have much on my mind. As I read through my Diary Posts, I noticed a few things about myself…….I NEEDED some CHEEZE to go with my Whine..ING!!
So when I got up this morning and went out and put my legs and feet in the swimming pool, me and the lord had a little TALK……

It seems I have had a BAD ATTITUDE, instead of being GRATEFUL for all the lord has done for me these past weeks. I was in a “ME” syndrome……..and not looking ahead to our future, and NEW LIFE Beginning. When all this first started I was ANGRY at my landlord for causing so much STRESS in our life. But, it really was not his fault.

But ANGER took over, than SHOCK, then sadness and depression & FEAR.
Fear of the unknown. THIS comes from my Panic & Agoraphobia disorders.
But still not an excuse for me not SEEING the bigger picture our Lord was trying to present to us.

So with my Heart, Ears, and Mind OPEN to hear what he was telling me, was that sometimes you have to be Uncomfortable in order for CHANGE to come into your life, to just follow his PATH he has laid out before you, as he close’s One chapter, and OPENS another.  And, he has done that for us so far. It was my Mental & Emotional illness and disorders that were getting in my way,  Again, to see the bigger picture.

Agoraphobia for me has been very debilitating, as it is VERY Difficult to deal with changes like this. It’s hard just to walk out my front door weeks at a time. So, I had to keep telling myself that I’m only going from ONE set of walls of our apartment, to a NEW set of walls in a New Home.

But that did not stop the Panic Attacks I had on the way down to Arizona. I had a bad one going through the Lake Shasta area of Northern Calif., as it had been years since I’d rode in a car for a long distance. The last time was back in 2005, and that was only a 3 hour ride.  So once we got through the mountains my hubby Tom pulled into a Rest Stop so I could take a few more medications to get me through. It made me feel WEAK as a person, and tried to understand HOW I got to this point in my life with these mental and emotional disorders and challenges!!

It seemed the ONLY thing that helped was think of *Waterfalls*….the cool mist of the spray of water on my face, and close my eyes and pretend I was right next to one.
It did help a lot, and the half of a tranquilizer my doctor gave me for the trip.
We made it to the motel we stopped at.

The other thing I kept thinking of was seeing my Nephew Mark & his family the next day. I had not seen Mark since my mom passed away in 2003. Most of my family stopped talking to me once they found I had an addicted gambling problem, but got even worse when they found I had bipolar 2 disorder as well.

Mark had reached out to me and Tom when he found our phone number and called us out of the blue this past Christmas. I was SO HAPPY!! We had been talking ever since, and we made it to Redlands, CA where he lives on Saturday early afternoon, and met for lunch & spent 2 hours visiting!! That made the WHOLE TRIP for me.. 🙂
I met my Great Niece for the first time. Just an awesome visit. Then we made it to Arizona around 6pm.

Now here is when the lord said, “Catherine, you need to stop the complaining,
as your NOT the only one who needs adjusting to this situation, you have 6 other people who are effected by all this change. Stop thinking about yourself, and have Kindness & Patients with everyone else”….Yes Lord.

I know that sitting in he lords Word & Gospel helps me to be more Outside myself, and to a Heart full of *GRADTITUDE* toward others who are only trying to help us. We all have our Little Quirks, I just need to be more sensitive toward others, and keep my heart, mind, and ears open as the lord guides us in this New Adventure.

The past week was a Wee Bit rough around the edges as everyone started to adjust and settle into this new Family Dynamic, but I think will get there! As for the Lords path for us, It has begun, he has blessed us with Tom getting his transfer to another New Store here in Arizona.

He went yesterday to get all his paper work done, and starts on Monday at his store for Safeway…….another blessing. We also found 2 openings where his sisters work with disabled children, and he applied for a Van Driver for there outings and classroom aide.
So you never know what maybe around the corner.

AS for myself, I’m also settling in my New space. One good thing so far is I had NO Panic Attacks this past week, just some High Anxiety. My depression has been better too!

Must be all the sunny weather. I have found going outside by the pool in the early morning has been my “Little Sanctuary” to Relax my mind and soul for a while, as I hear
the Waterfalls softly flowing with my eyes closed and my feet in the cool pool water.
Sometimes, even if it’s just in our heads…….We can find Peace & Serenity around us anywhere and anytime, if we just Keep our Faith, keep our Hearts, Minds, and Ears
open to the lord. AS he has never disappointed me, even with this Life Change, and New Beginning.

So as for my whine & complaints, I’ve asked my lord for forgiveness for that, and to help me continue to be Patient, Kind, and understanding of others around me. As long as he is with us each step of the way on this New Journey, I need to know this whole experience is not just ALL about ME!

It’s about New beginnings, New Starts, both in life and financially. I have NO idea what is in store for us at this point, but it is kind of exciting to see where our journey will LEAD.
So for that I’m Truly Blessed!

God Bless my Friends, and have a wonderful weekend…..
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

Dear Diary…..Today I said WTF?…..(Page 6 Entry) *Life Change at 50*


OK….SO, I had this Awesome Topic of seriousness and You Tube Video Link I wanted to share with all of you, And I will,……but as I signed on to the Web, a Story Headline popped up on my screen of a CAT,…..NOT just ANY CAT, this Cat is a *MAYOR* in Alaska!!! I KID YOU NOT….LOL….and you ALL KNOW I have a HEART & SOUL for CATS, So I could NOT HELP MY SELF, and thought I really need to SHARE THIS……THEN I’ll get to the Serious Stuff!

*BESIDES, My Humor is still in TACT even through all the moving CRAZINESS!*….

Feline mayor survives attack by dog assassin ~~REALLY? LOL…

Image: 'Stubbs,' honorary mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska (Courtesy of NBC News)
Honorary Alaska mayor clawing his way back to health after vicious dog attack…

By M. Alex Johnson, Staff Writer, NBC News

The mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska, was out of surgery Wednesday and is expected to survive after being attacked by a large dog over the weekend and suffering serious internal injuries.

Mayor Stubbs, 16 — whose title is honorary and who, by the way, is a cat — was heavily sedated after three hours of surgery for a punctured lung and a crushed sternum.

“Right now, they really have him very heavily sedated, because he’s in so much pain,” his owner, Lauri Stec, told NBC station KTUU of Anchorage.

Stec told The Anchorage Daily News that she hopes to visit Stubbs at Big Lake-Susitna Veterinary Hospital, about 70 miles away near Wasilla, on Thursday.

The mayor, whose honorary title was bestowed as a joke shortly after his birth in 1997, was walking around town when an irate canine constituent charged him about 11 p.m. Saturday (3 a.m. Sunday ET).

The suspect was still at large on Wednesday, described only as a “mean” and “large” local dog.

Stec told the Anchorage paper that Stubbs limped away to safety, setting off a search for him across the town of about 850 people in Matanuska-Susitna Borough.

“People were looking around with headlights and flashlights. Everybody was pretty upset,” Stec told the paper. “All I could think was ‘I can’t let him die out here in the rain.'”

Stec was accepting donations to defray the mayor’s medical expenses at Nagley’s General Store, where she’s the manager.

**I DO BELIEVE I’VE READ IT ALL, OR SEEN IT ALL!!**


Now, to the more serious and interesting things. My good friend DeBorah Palmer happened to post this link to on LinkedIn and said it was a real good informational YouTube video. I just didn’t know what it was about until I watched it, and I
have to tell you I was SHOCKED!!

Now I Advocate for us who suffer from all types of Mental and Emotional illness & disorders, so when I seen this video, I said right away this HAS TO BE SHARED!…
WHY I was shocked, as I was hearing some of the Facts, Stats, and info that I had no Idea JUST HOW BAD, and HOW MUCH Farther we have to go for EARLY INTERVENTION so that many SUICIDES Don’t have to Happen…..

SO Please, even if you don’t know anyone with any type of Mental illness, this video WILL EDUCATE THE PUBLIC…The Link to the Video:  http://youtu.be/CUuyzoTI948
and is by: Thomas Insel….
It will change the way your look at others who HAVE Mental & Emotional illness and Disorders.

This next Link I hope you’ll watch is from our Military Sisters & Brothers who have come back from years of war with the Highest Ever Brain Injuries,  PTSD, and TO MANY Mental & Emotional illness SUICIDES are Happening! Here is the Link for this Video:

http://youtu.be/sYzpg9-5IPE

I know it has not been a secret about our Fine Military who fought for our country, and come back Stateside to there Homes being auctioned off, divorce, lack of proper Mental Health processing coming back home, which has made the Suicide Rate with Military Vets  and still Active Duty personnel Sky Rocket.

So the reason I wanted this to be my last Diary Entry before hitting the road on our Relocating Travels & Adventure, is to leave the post up for a while in HOPE that My
Recovery blogging community & Followers will SHARE these links with others.

Maybe with a little PRAYER it will help others, make a Tiny Dent in *The Stigma* around others with Mental Health and Emotional Disorders, and Educate the Public on the Challenges WE WHO SUFFER, have each day….

GOD BLESS FRIENDS, AND I”LL SEE YA ON THE FLIP SIDE!!
*Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon*

Dear Diary….Today I……….(Page 5) Life Change at 50 with Bipolar & Agoraphobia

Hello Recovery Friends, Pals, and New Visitors,

I thought it would be fun to use Pic’s & Quotes today to SHARE how I’ve been feeling
as I continue to pack all our Stuff and get ready to Relocate from Oregon to Arizona.
My emotions have settled a bit, as they went from, Shock, to FEAR & PANIC, to Crying Jags, to Depressed, to WTF???……..It’s sinking in that I’m going for a LONG RIDE from one State to a few over!!

I’m NOT looking forward to the heat of Arizona, although my Doctor said it may
help my Bipolar and depression, but my Anxiety is still WAY UP!!

My Agoraphobia has been kicking in with the Chills, Fear, and Sweats of knowing I’ll have to walk out my front door, and out of the walls of my Comfort Bubble!!! I love Being within my walls of hidden truths and safe-ness. We are putting all our things in storage here in Oregon, as to make me comfortable knowing we will be coming back…….Hopefully.

So, today is one more day closer to DOOMS DAY it feels like to me, as on Friday morning we pick up our Rental Car and head SouthWest. My kitty Callie is doing well in her New Adopted home, which makes me feel better, but looming is,  NOT getting Mr. Buttons adopted out before we leave, WELL……I don’t EVEN want to GO THERE or the TEARS will start again. So, I’ll sign out of this page 5 Diary Entry……and bid you all GOOD DAY!

*Life Change at 50 with Mental Illness and being in Recovery…..SUCKS RIGHT NOW!!*
YES…..I KNOW…..change been my ATITTUDE……LOL….*

Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

~Kara

I thought I’d start my page entry in my Diary with this saying, because it really is how I feel about some of my Family Members right now….

Share this inspiring quote from 64-year-old Diana Nyad, who this weekend became the first person to swim from Cuba to Florida without the benefit of a shark cage!
*BUT….ALL I need to do is Remember……I’m making my OWN DREAMS come True at 50!!….LOL…Became an Author!

Happy Tuesday, we're on the road to Autumn............have a great day!

**THIS is what I will MISS the most about Living in So. Oregon!!
WE have such Beautiful Fall Colors!!**

"Be the change you wish to see in the World"
**AGREED! It is why I WROTE MY BOOK Of Addiction & Recovery, as to HELP
Others who still Suffer, and MY BLOG to CONTINUE TO SHARE MY STORY AND JOURNEY, and to ADVOCATE against *THE STIGMA* around Mental Illness & Disorders TOO!**
*A WISE MAN WITH MUCH WISDOM OF THE FUTURE**


**MORE WORDS TO LIVE BY**

**AND YES….Through all the DRAMA of Relocating….I STILL HAVE A SENSE
OF HUMOR!!**…LOL…


**WHAT IS NORMAL? AND WHERE CAN I GET SOME???…LOL..

DEAR Diary, Today I….(Page 3) *My Life Changes*

DEAR Diary,

TODAY I……… spent doing a little of everything.
Many phone calls on Airlines and prices, Rental cars and prices as which way to go to Arizona will be the least cost.
Then calling all to cancel service on what seems like a Kazillion things! YUK!
Gas, power, phone, trash, internet service, sattilite  service and More!! In between packing up what is left of our life. Finally found a storage unit here in Oregon as we decided to keep are stuff here, because we ARE COMING BACK…..I will with or without a husband!!…LOL….I’ve been listening to the 80’s station on the TV and man TIMES were much more FUN and easy going back then. And I was a hell of a lot YOUNGER TOO!!….LOL…..

SO…..THEN We thought we had a new home for one of our 2 Cats, a couple took Mr. Buttons, our male that’s 9 years old. We took him out to his Hopeful New Home Monday morning, but by 10pm the couple called and said they didn’t think it’s going to work out, that he was still hiding????……I told her it may take a couple days for him to warm up to them since we have had him so long, but out my hubby went to go pick him up!! ONE positive though….Is our landlord was nice and is letting us stay through next Friday so we won’t have the cost of staying in Motel for a week before we leave Oregon on Sept 6th……..

SO now I need to put another ad in the paper for both the cats again tomorrow.
My moods from my Bipolar have been UP and DOWN, I keep telling Tom I’m sorry for being so emotional, but I know it’s just all the added stress that is effecting me. I’ve only had 1 Panic attack, and that was on Monday after we got home from taking Buttons out to that couples home.

Then yesterday and today it was back with the down Depression and Agoraphobia, not leaving the house, as Monday was the 1st I’ve been out of the house in Weeks!  Also the fear of people coming to the front door, which has really been bothering me a lot, I just don’t know why????  I have been going to bed early to get good, proper, Sleep as it seems to help keep my Anxiety level not so high. So tomorrow is another day, who knows what it will bring, but I pray each night for the lord to see me through another day with a WEE BIT of Peace and Serenity…..

**SO this is how I feel sometimes!!…LOL….THE BIG DOGS ARE PICKING ON ME!!**
Here is an interesting Article I read in my NAMI –National Alliance on Mental Illness News Letter Today…….

New research published this June in the Journal of Neuroscience suggests that the lack of sleep commonly associated with anxiety disorders may actually exacerbate symptoms of worrying. Results from the study strongly support the theory that sleep loss triggers the excessive anticipatory brain activity associated with anxiety, indicating that maintaining a healthy sleep pattern can help alleviate symptoms of anxiousness.

While past research has shown that people with anxiety disorders tend to show hyperactivity in two major emotional brain regions known as the amygdala and anterior insula cortex, researchers from the present study were the first to establish a pattern of causation by directly testing the impact of sleep deprivation on anticipatory brain responses preceding emotionally salient events.

The study conducted at the University of California, Berkeley examined the brains of 18 healthy adults, once while sleep-deprived and again while well-rested. Researchers used fMRI scans to monitor brain activity while participants viewed a series of either neutral or disturbing images. Prior to viewing the images, participants were primed with visual cues intended to trigger anticipatory anxiety. The cues depicted a red minus sign to warn for unpleasant images, a yellow circle to warn for neutral images or an ambiguous white question mark intended to provoke feelings of more intense anticipation in viewers.

The fMRI scans revealed that when participants were sleep deprived, they showed heightened activity in the emotional brain regions of the amygdala and insula cortex. Furthermore, for the participants who were already prone to experiencing anxiety, results were even more intensified— as those with the highest levels of trait anxiety showed the greatest increase in anticipatory insula activity when sleep deprived. These scans demonstrate that sleep disruption may aggravate anxiousness due to the impact of sleep loss on anticipatory brain function.

The results from this study are particularly useful for those living with anxiety disorders including panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and posttraumatic stress disorder, as they are especially sensitive to the effects of sleep deprivation.  As head researcher Matthew Walker said, “These findings help us realize that those people who are anxious by nature are the same people who will suffer the greatest harm from sleep deprivation.”

Moreover, the findings have strong therapeutic implications, showing that sleep restoration may be beneficial in relieving symptoms of worrying for those living with anxiety disorders and highly anxious individuals alike. “By restoring good quality sleep in people suffering from anxiety, we may be able to help ameliorate their excessive worry and disabling fearful expectations,” Walker said. Since those living with anxiety disorders commonly experience co-occurring sleep abnormalities, researchers from this study strongly believe that sleep therapy is a practical treatment option.

“This discovery ultimately illustrates how important sleep is to our mental health,” said Walker. “It also emphasizes the intimate relationship between sleep and psychiatric disorders, both from a cause and a treatment perspective.” In short, those who are either living with an anxiety disorder or simply prone to experiencing anxiety on a regular basis should maintain a healthy sleep pattern in order to help manage symptoms of worrying.

My Recovery & God’s Winds of Change are a BLOWIN Again….

Hello Recovery Friends & Family & New Visitor’s,

I’ve been busy a bit, as our life is ever-changing day by day. So my postings the next week or so maybe here and there as many of you know we are moving…….

WE are packing up what little we have left of our lives from 4yrs ago when we Both lost our jobs, lost our home, and you know the Rest…Blah Blah Blah….LOL…
Well it seems THAT STARTING OVER was not low enough for our lord, so were doing it ONE more time. He sure is a FUNNY GUY isn’t HE?….LOL…

SO far of course, the hardest part has been having to find NEW homes for my Babies/2 Cats, that’s been like HELL…..but where we are going to live, everyone in my hubby’s family has allergies to cats. One has been with us for some years. YES….I’ve had some PANIC Attacks, Depression, HIGH ANXIETY, I’ve cried it out, but now have an Attitude of Gratefulness that at LEAST we won’t be HOMELESS, blessed that his family is going to help us Start Over, and humbled beyond belief!!  I HATE having to leave Beautiful So. Oregon, but, AS ARNOLD SAID A MILLION TIMES…..”I’LL BE BACK”!! And the MORE SUNSHINE maybe Good for my Depression.

ONE THING I am sure of, is that when LIFE gets thrown in our FACES……IT CAN make you more tempted to have a Relapse in Our recovery, but I say this…..I have had my TOOL BOX out of the closet for a few weeks now, and that is NOT going to HAPPEN!! What I’m trying to say is,…..It can be a HUGE TRIGGER when Life is turned upside down, especially when the DRAMA is being caused by others and outside forces.

I think we all have heard plenty about US IN RECOVERY HAVING NO CONTROL OVER, People, Places, Things……and I tell myself this each morning when I get up!!……THAT, and say a little Prayer to my HP to help me get through another day, and to WORK through ME to still help others even though MY life is being tossed around like a Washing Machine!!..LOL…
It Keeps me focused and IT’S ALL ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE!

Being of service to others IS a good way to stay Grounded in YOUR own recovery. We can learn SO much from each other. A GOOD example of this……Grab your Steps and work on them a little each day, they will help keep you on course when things are CRAZY all around you, and it helps keep you outside of yourself.

HAVE I been having THOUGHTS and FEELINGS to GAMBLE?…..OF COURSE, BUT…..With the tools and skills I’ve learned in my YEARS of Recovery work, I know that they will PASS, and it’s my DISEASED MIND trying to Work Overtime,  and I have the tools to help me not Have to ACT on those Feelings & Thoughts.

WE all have many *CHOICE’S* in Life each and everyday…..I choose LIFE & Recovery.
HAVING to move to another STATE IS not a Good Enough reason to throw my years of recovery away. These things we have ARE JUST MATERIAL things, we can’t take them with us, and they DON’T define who we are as a person or People.
WHAT’S MOST INPORTANT???…..Is my HP…GOD, knowing his is with US every step of the way!!, MY HUSBAND, MY FB FRIENDS & FAMILY, And MY Awesome LIFE IN RECOVERY!!

I’ve made a choice that Might Be FUN, to Chronicle My Life Changing Journey on my GOODREADS Blog so I can Update my Recovery Friends as things progress:: http://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_Posts/4742885-Winds-Of-Change-are-a-Blowin   here on my Recovery TOO! I just thought maybe…..After all is said, moved, and PACKED, I JUST might have another NEW BOOK in the MAKING!…LOL..

Thanks Everyone for all your kind words and Encouragement! May God Bless you,    *Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon*

“True friends are families which you can select.” -Audrey Hepburn