Special Holiday Recovery Guest Post & Share By Our Friends of Sober Recovery. Celebrate Your Recovery at an AA or GA Meeting/Gathering.

My Thanksgiving Day Spent in AA

By Flower B

I’m not sure how this season feels for you, but Thanksgiving and Christmas are two holiday sore spots for me. There’s so much emphasis on family and connection, and everything is supposed to be all warm and fuzzy. My family has never been close-knit, except for my mother and me. I’m single, and I don’t have any children. I’m also a Midwest native who lives in Los Angeles. Yet, when it comes to this time of year, I still find myself full of expectations.

My first Thanksgiving in recovery was difficult because I didn’t have any relatives to spend the day with like so many of my other friends. Sure, I got invites, but it’s just not the same when it’s someone else’s family dinner. Not having a husband or family to call my own, I just found myself missing my mother.

photo of 7 people; four women, 1 younger man, 1 middle-aged - all standing behind table with trays of food and Thanksgving flower arrangement


Makeshift Family

Due to my lack of familial ties, I made it a point to stay especially close to Alcoholics Anonymous.
I had a close group of friends who were also newly sober, and we planned to stay connected during the Thanksgiving holiday. We conveniently also found two nearby main meeting halls that were having marathon meetings over the course of several days.

Consequently, Thanksgiving Day began with me and my cohorts visiting AA meeting halls in Altadena and Hawthorne. To my surprise, every group we visited was packed. People were coming in from all over, which was both exciting and inspirational to see.

When we returned to our home group, people were out back playing some board games. A gentleman named Craig, who has since passed to the big meeting in the sky, was in a corner barbequing. It definitely wasn’t your typical meeting atmosphere—there was a social aspect to it all that reminded me almost of a family reunion.

Boogie on Down

On Saturday night, there was even a dance known as the “crème de la crème.” The hall was transformed into a club with a DJ booth, dark lights, and a dance floor. Getting ready for it was as much fun as attending. I must have danced all night, which was weird in a sense. Rarely had I gone dancing—or did anything fun for that matter—that didn’t involve drinking, sprinkled in with some drugs here and there, or any gambling.

I won’t lie; I was shy at first. But once the first guy asked me to dance, all inhibition went out the window. Who knew I could have so much fun without alcohol or drugs? There was beautiful energy over the entire room as people danced, laughed, and let loose. All while being clean and sober.

Dance Disco Dancing - Free photo on Pixabay
Dancing and Fun!

A Celebration

The last day of the marathon ended with what’s called “the old-timer’s slot,” where people with at least 20 years of sobriety took turns sharing their recovery stories. The oldest person there had 50 years of sobriety under his belt. The stories made me cry, laugh and rejoice. It brought me back to a time when I used to be at home listening to my mom, aunts and uncles reminisce.

Once the old-timer slot ended, it was time for the countdown. The person with the most years of sobriety was asked to stand, and everyone clapped and cheered for them. And so, the countdown began. Then, every time a group stood up for the following year, there was a round of applause. The procession continued like falling dominoes.

Though I had a while to wait, I was so proud when my turn finally came around, and I got to stand up for five months. The excitement of the moment only made me look forward to the following year when I would get to stand again. By the time we got to the sober person for only a few hours, the room had exploded. It was awesome.

At the very end of the day, while sitting down to eat my meal at the potluck, a crucial fact occurred to me that I was missing all week long—I was finally home, and these people were the family I was looking for all along and never thought I’d find.


CELEBRATE YOUR RECOVERY THIS HOLIDAY SEASON!



Happy Birthday To Me. Feeling Much Gratitude For My Recovery & Having Made It To 59 years Young. The Reflection For The Today Says It All…

Gambler’s Annonymous “Relection For The Day” on my Happy Birthday…

Speaking My Story At An Event At The Arizona State Capitol


NOVEMBER 26 Reflection for the Day

“During our first days in Gamblers Anonymous, we got rid of the trappings and environments of gambling. We had to get rid of these, for we knew they surely would have killed us. We got rid of the situation, but we could not get rid of our addiction until we took further action. So we also had to learn to toss self-pity, self-justification, self-righteousness, and self-will straight out the window.

We had to get off the rickety ladder that supposedly was the easy way to money, property, and prestige. And we had to take personal responsibility. To gain enough humility and self-respect to stay alive at all, we had to give up our most familiar possessions, and our driven ambition, and our unrealistic pride”

Am I well rid of the weights and chains that once bound me?

Today I Pray

May I give credit to my Higher Power not only for removing my gambling impulses but for teaching me to remove my old pushy, demanding, selfishness from all my spiritual and earthly relationships, and for all the things I have learned and unlearned within my “faith and for the grace of God,” I am fully and heartily thankful and blessed today.

Today I Will Remember. . .
“Gratitude for the grace of God.”


***** ***** ***** ****** *****

For those who know my full story of addictions and where I am today, it truly is a MIRACLE I am still today to share my recovery with you for all these amazing year’s on my website. I appreciate all of you who support me and all those whom will come after you.

It has always been my intention and passion to help those who may be suffering in silence that recovery is possible and to never give HOPE. Youe are worth an amazing life as I have had maintaining my recovery for almost 15-years come Jan. 20th, 2022. “But For The Grace” of God, we all have that opportunity to do so.

May God Bless You,
Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Advocate


Recovery Ramblings of Family, Loss, Childhood, Choices, and Some Other Stuff. By Advocate Catherine Townsend-Lyon.

Recovery Ramblings of Family, Loss, Childhood, Choices, and Some Other Stuff. By Advocate Catherine Townsend-Lyon.


It has been quite some time since my last honest personal share about my recovery journey. It has been too long since sharing my thoughts, feelings, and what has been lying in my heart. What I mean is some real random recovery ramblings of living life while maintaining my recovery. 

Maybe it is because the holiday season and a new year are approaching, and looking back over this last year, not realizing what and how much I dealt with some life events that I felt I handled ok, but there always seems to be some lingering feelings left. Thoughts constantly swirl in my mind and tug on my heart. Just when I think I have processed them and tried to move forward, here they come. 

See, I lost my father on Jan. 29th, 2021, as COVID took his life, and many who know me or my story had a very up-and-down relationship. He had not spoken to me in almost 15 1/2-years. My nephew informed me of his passing and told me that he died alone at the hospital in Southern Calif., where he had been amitted. Kaiser Hospital would not let anyone go in his room to be with him due to COVID rules, nor they didn’t bother to tell me until five weeks after his passing.

Then more drama over who was getting what that I didn’t care about any of that. I wasn’t going to get stuck in all the drama, especially since I had not talked to any of my family for years. I knew this day would come soon. Was this cruel or Karma that my father ended up passing away all alone? Just because he chose not to speak to me or have a relationship with one of his daughters? I hope not. Family, we don’t get to choose them. And my siblings?

Well, that’s my siblings for you. Need I say more?

My feelings were/are that they were the ones missing out. All the years I and my husband had lived in Oregon and through the years’ most of the family would come to visit, spend time with us, we’d have so much fun. Even after my mom passed in 2003, my dad came the following summer and we had a blast! We would also take my dad and nephews rafting, many 4th of July’s and Labor days, trips to the coast, Jetboat dinner rides on the Rogue River, and again many fantastic rafting trips. So many good memories.

And for all of it to end up like this?
 
It still breaks my heart today…
I choose to remember ALL the good memories!

Also, after my mom passed in 2003, we all could have stayed together and in each other’s lives. That didn’t last very long. There are four of us—my only older brother, my older sister, then me, and then my younger sister. So when we laid my mom to eternal rest, that was the last time all four of us siblings had been together. I have often said we don’t get to pick or choose the family we are born into; however, we can choose to have healthy boundaries and have done so when I began my recovery journey.

So those are some of the points I wanted to share. Recovery makes that possible. It gives us the freedom to start making better choices in our lives. I will add in their defense, when I was young, I became very hyper-sensitive to teasing and ridicule, but they had no clue what I had been through from the sexual trauma until I finally disclosed it to my parents at age 32. Then, the teasing got worse in adulthood when they learned I had been diagnosed with PTSD and a few other mental health disorders.

When we get to a point where we try to make amends with those, we may have hurt while being sick and deep within addiction; not everyone may be willing to accept it or willing to forgive. They might even take it, forgive you, but still not want a relationship. And that is truly their choice. We, then, need to accept that choice, as I had to take and honor my father’s choice some 15-years ago. So yes, it stung, but I moved on from it. 

There are times when we need to look back to connect what was to see how far we have grown within our recovery. For example, when I spent a year or so writing and journaling in early recovery, that was what ended up as a book—my memoirs of what gambling had taken from me. My fault for becoming an addict? YES, but more critical is the WHY and HOW I became addicted. (Available on Amazon Kindle)

Addicted to Dimes (Confessions of a LIAR & a CHEAT)

by Catherine Townsend-Lyon
“A heart-wrenching read that ends with a great light of hope. Read “Addicted to Dimes” now.” 

Written By Advocate Catherine Lyon


That is some of what those memoirs are and what my book truly is. It is not how to recover. That is what I’m working on now. The writing was healing for me, but it also helped me start to connect different events, the childhood trauma and abuse that happened as a little girl, and how it affected me going into adulthood. So I began to question my worth, my self-sabotage as if I wasn’t worth being loved, others being kind or treated well by others, including men. 

Today I chose life. I live each day to the best of my abilities. I use self-care and self-love. I continue to mentor others who reach out needing support, help, and some hope from this insidious addiction. It is my passion and honor to do so. I’ll close by saying to those who never give gambling a thought, but those who have a problem with it will understand this. Gambling is all about Risk and Chance. And those who gamble a lot as I did or become addicted and gamble all the time will know what I mean. So the more you bet, the higher your odds are of losing.

So, where do you think the catchphrase came from of “The House Always Wins?” 

And is why gambling addiction is so devastating…  

********** *** ************

Writers Note –This year, I have signed up with ‘The National Council on Problem Gambling’ for the new ‘Gift Responsible’ Lottery Campaign as a social media assistant and blogger for the council through the holiday season and share Awareness of Not Gifting Lottery Products to Children and Minors. I hope you will join me by using this image on all your social media platforms in support!

Lottery Campaign Image 2021 ~ National Council on Problem Gambling


Our Special Guest Post is by Author/Advocate Marilyn Davis of ‘From Addict 2 Advocate.’ Reading Gives Us Our Power Back. . .

Recovery Books: Just When You Need Them

 POSTED ON  BY MARILYNLDAVIS


Recovery Books That Lessen the Suffering Besides the Big Book marilyn l davis from addict 2 advocate
Post Courtesy of Marilyn Davis, Advocate, Author, & Writer



Books: The Way We’ve Always Learned

“I think books are like people, in the sense that they’ll turn up in your life when you most need them.” – Emma Thompson

I’m old enough to remember when books, either from a library or book store, and where how we escaped, found comfort, got an education, or discovered ways to improve our lives. Books bring the world to us. 

Today, that world is smaller with online booksellers, reviewers, and sites dedicated to types of books. One of these is Shepherd.com. I enjoyed writing reviews on five books about addiction and recovery.  Each of those books helped me see that addiction has common themes. Yet, each of the authors admitted their addictions and found recovery in different ways. 

Easy Access to Information

It may just be me, but the first time I read Alcoholics Anonymous, or as we call it, The Big Book, I cried. There were so many passages that I could relate to in that first reading. I felt that the writers in 1939 were doing a “Letter to your future self – me.” 

When we find a book that resonates with us, we cherish it. The second, third, fourth, and fifth times I read the book while in treatment, I was shocked at how much I’d missed in a previous reading. I got out my trusty highlighter and started marking practically every page. I realized that meant that eventually, I would highlight every passage, so I stopped that practice. That was 33 years ago. 

Cherished Writing

I still have my original Big Book, tattered and worn with margin notes, highlighted passages, and phone numbers from people in treatment. It needs rebinding, but I’d lose those notes and numbers, and I don’t want to do that, so it stays together in its case when I’m not reading it. 

I still read it; antiquated and stilted language doesn’t matter. That’s why there’s another book, a dictionary for the seldom-used words. These 100 men and women who wrote The Big Book were the founders and pioneers who admitted their problems and gave us solutions. We can’t ask for more than that in any book. 

Inclusive Writing 

When we read a book and see ourselves on the pages, we pay attention. Sure, the names, places, ages, or genders might differ, but it’s us. How does an author do that – by relating feelings and thoughts, which transcend ages, genders, races, and places. 

I’ve gotten emails and messages from men who’ve read my book, Finding North: A Journey from Addict to Advocate, who’ve asked if we’re twins. Or the email from a twenty-year-old who could relate. Believe me, those are the best validation an author can get. To know that you’ve written an inclusive book. 

Books Help Us Understand Ourselves 

When I first got into recovery, I went weekly to the Unity Bookstore in Gainesville, GA. They had the largest selection on recovery, codependency, spirituality, and Native American beliefs. I’d “sacrifice” a steak to get a new book. 

Some of my earliest books were: 

The Recovery Book: Answers to All Your Questions About Addiction and Alcoholism and Finding Health and Happiness in Sobriety

 Healing The Child Within: Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children…

Stage II Recovery: Life Beyond Addiction

The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents 

Each Day a New Beginning: Daily Meditations for Women 

Broken Toys Broken Dreams: Understanding and Healing Codependency, Compulsive Behaviors and Family


No, I’m not their spokesperson, nor do I get a commission for anything I’ve listed or from Thriftbooks; it’s about following through on Neil deGrasse Tyson’s second bit of advice, “For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you.”

Any of these will help you in your recovery and perhaps lessen your suffering. Plus buying a used book makes economic sense. 

Reflections: Guideposts and Images for the Journey: 

Around the Year with Emmet Fox: A Book of Daily Readings

Narcotics Anonymous book by Narcotics Anonymous

Rehab Works 

Healing the Shame that Binds You

The Road Less Traveled and Beyond

Facing Codependence

Now That You’re Sober

Addicted to Dimes ~ THIS ONE IS MY BOOK!


Famous Authors

Today’s books differ only slightly from my original listing. Today, we’ve got more people writing about addiction and recovery who don’t necessarily work in the field. Some are famous, and coming out and stating that they are addicts and alcoholics is commendable.  

Here’s a list of three I’ve read because I was a concert promotor and managed bands and maybe understand some of the temptations and availability of drugs backstage.  

Recovery book by Russell Brand 

Robert Downey Jr.: The Fall and Rise 

Trejo: My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood


When You’re Ready to Write About Your Recovery

I believe in diaries and journals. They help us record our thoughts and feelings and can be a way to discover patterns in our lives. Here are two journals that work: 

My Walk, My Journey, My Recovery: Drugs… book by Mama Cotton (thriftbooks.com)

The 12 Step Journal

And when you’re ready to write your story, consider getting Memories into Memoir: The Mindsets and Mechanics Workbook to help you remember, reflect, and write an excellent memoir about addiction and recovery to help someone else. 

Are you ready to lessen someone else’s suffering? Then consider a guest post. 

Marilyn Loves Guest Post Submissions For Her Website!



About Marilyn L. Davis

Marilyn L. Davis
Advocate, Marilyn L. Davis


Marilyn Davis is a Certified Addiction Recovery Empowerment Specialist who opened and operated an award-winning residential facility between 1990 and 2011, called North House. She also facilitated men’s, women’s, and HIV-positive groups. 

She recently celebrated 32+ years of abstinence-based recovery.

Davis is the author of “Therapeutic Integrated Educational Recovery System.” In 2008, Brenau University created the Marilyn Davis Community Service Learning Award. This ongoing award honors individuals working in recovery and mental health. In 2010, Marilyn received the Liberty Bell award. This award is given to non-judges and attorneys for contributions to the criminal justice system and communities.

Before the Blogs and Book

Before finding recovery in 1988, Davis was a desperate woman on drugs, managing bands at night, giving up her children, having her house foreclosed, and running to Georgia. After an intervention by Brenau University, she attended two 12-Step meetings a day. A chance encounter with a 74-year old Native American named Gray Hawk showed her that healing would include meetings and Steps. He had searched for her and wanted her to open a house of healing for other women. This encounter with Gray Hawk helped her realize that opening North House was her purpose.

She recently published her memoir, Finding North: A Journey from Addict to Advocate.

Writing and Recovery Heals the Heart

Davis is also Editor-in-Chief at twodropsofink.com, a literary blog, where she continues to encourage collaborative writing.

The site’s writers are poets, problem-solvers for writers, and bloggers. Prose and essays educate, entertain, and enchant readers with the written word. The writers represent different countries, viewpoints, and opinions from around the world.


Visit Marilyn Today!

Visit the author: WebsiteJoin Author’s NewsletterFacebookTwitterGoodreadsAmazonLinkedin






Special Announcement & New 2021 Holiday Campaign Shared By My Friends of The National Council on Problem Gambling . . .


Welcome Recovery Warriors, Friends, and Visitors!

If there is one topic I get a little passionate about, it is the topic of gambling and kids. Minors, those under the ages of 18.

Now, I am aware that all STATES have different gambling ages, most states the legal age is 21. There are a few like Oregon, where I used to live will let you gamble at age 18.

Here is my MAIN point, and why I wanted to share this special ‘Holiday Campaign’ and news by the National Council.

PARENTS NEED to understand you don’t buy or give Lottery Scratch Tickets to your children as a GIFT or Stocking Stuffer! Not only is it illegal? You are teaching your young kids to GAMBLE.

YES, I know, not everyone has or will have a problem with gambling, or when they get older. BUT? I feel if you start now and teach them to be responsible just as you council them about drugs, alcohol, or even smoking, you will help them in the long run.

Lottery tickets of any kind are not an appropriate thing to give to kids.

Let’s raise awareness together so we can save your kids from harm when they get older. If you know friends who do give Lottery Products to minors, let them know it can be as dangerous later on for them just as you talk and council your kids, again, about drugs and alcohol. Here are some of the warning signs of problem gambling below.

Stop by the council and read a few of the real stories by real families of how gambling had devastated them and learn more about the Gift Responsibly Campaign and how you can help… https://www.ncpgambling.org/programs-resources/programs/gift-responsibly-campaign-2021/

Thanks Everyone! ~Advocate Catherine Lyon



Article By The National Council on Problem Gambling


NEW NAME, NEW LOOK


FOR HOLIDAY 2021

Make a difference for your clients and customers – join your colleagues across the country and around the world in our responsible gambling campaign to raise awareness regarding the risks of underage lottery use. Lottery products are appropriate for gifting only to adults, from adults.

Research shows why: the earlier a person’s participation or even exposure to gambling in childhood, the more likely they are to develop gambling problems later in life. And gambling in childhood is frequently some kind of lottery product, given through lack of awareness by a well-meaning adult.

This public-private campaign was previously known as the Holiday Lottery Responsible Gambling Campaign. The name was changed in response to requests from lottery organizations and feedback from our global stakeholders.

The new name enables lotteries all over the world to participate. It avoids the word ‘holiday,’ which in many global cultures describes what American English-speakers might call ‘vacation.’ It provides flexibility to expand the responsible giving message for all the occasions where children and minor teens might receive lottery tickets as gifts throughout the year. And it is a short name, which is easier to use in social media and advertising.  

Whether or not it is legal for minors to participate in lottery games in your area, a responsible gambling message is always appropriate. The campaign continues to be endorsed and receives support from the World Lottery Association (WLA), European Lotteries (EL), and the North American Association of State and Provincial Lotteries (NASPL).


Facebook/LinkedInInstagramTwitterGeneral

Facebook/LinkedInInstagramTwitterGeneral

Facebook/LinkedInInstagramTwitterGeneral


(*The images provided are free to use without license or restrictions, but we ask that you sign up as a participant before downloading them.*)

100% of Canadian and U.S. lotteries participated again last year in the campaign
along with numerous international lotteries, non-lottery organizations, and many NCPG members.

During December and the winter holidays season, participating lottery organizations may choose to engage in different levels of public engagement classified as Lottery level 1, 2 or 3. These levels are intended to assist lotteries in planning their participation as well as to provide metrics that can be used in acknowledgment programs by NCPG, NASPL, WLA, and other organizations. Non-lottery organizations are welcome to join the Campaign and are encouraged to partner with their state lottery (where applicable) to support this important message.

Participants are also encouraged to become NCPG members (either as individuals or organizations) in order to receive updates on the campaign and to broaden their knowledge in problem gambling and responsible gambling. As members, they may also nominate themselves or others for the annual NCPG National Award for this campaign.

The campaign is sponsored by NCPG and the International Centre for Youth Gambling Problems and High-Risk Behaviors at McGill University.


LET’S ALL BE MORE RESPONSIBLE THIS HOLIDAY GIFTING SEASON WITH LOTTERY PRODUCTS!



ABOUT THE NATIONAL COUNCIL ON PROBLEM GAMBLING

MISSION & VALUES

Purpose: To serve as the national advocate for programs and services to assist people and families affected by problem gambling.

Vision: To improve health and wellness by reducing the personal, social and economic costs of problem gambling.

Mission: To lead state and national stakeholders in the development of comprehensive policy and programs for all those affected by problem gambling.

CORE VALUES

Neutrality: We do not take a position for or against legalized gambling.  We advocate solely for those affected by problem gambling.

Collaboration: We believe that our mission is best served by the collaborative action of a broad range of people and organizations.

Respect: We will treat all those affected by problem gambling and all stakeholders with respect.

Credibility: We will strive to be an objective, accurate and reliable source of information for all those concerned with problem gambling.



NCPG 2020 Statement:

Respect is one of our core values. Racism and bigotry are unacceptable. We stand united with Black communities throughout our country and share in their pain, anger and frustration. Recent events remind us of the need to address fundamental problems of systemic racial inequality.

As we deal with the devastating health and financial consequences of the COVID-19 pandemic, particularly on people with gambling problems, we are preparing new strategies to be of greater service to people of color. We will listen and reach out even more to our stakeholders of color, to learn how our services can better address their needs. We will strive to make our work more accessible, break down barriers and increase our advocacy. We will continue to emphasize our organization’s core values, and to treat all people with respect — with actions as well as words.

HISTORY

The organization was founded in 1972 by Msgr. Joseph A. Dunne and Dr. Robert Custer, among others. From the outset the Council established two principles that remain in effect today: that the organization would be the advocate for problem gamblers and their families, and that it would take no position for or against legalized gambling. This stance is encompassed today in our vision and mission statements above. A history of the NCPG from 1972 to 1985 by Msgr. Dunne was published in the Journal of Gambling Studies, Vol. 1, Issue 1.

NCPG was conceived as the national representative of the problem gambling field and is organized with 3 classes of members: state affiliate, corporate and individual. The NCPG concentrates efforts on the national level, while the state affiliates work at the state and local level.

Some Recovery & Mental Health Humor to Lighten Up Your Day. And Some News Around The Recovery Community. . .


Welcome Recovery Posse and Warriors,

WHO SAYS We Can’t Have Some Humor While Maintaining Recovery Being Dually Diagnosed?

Well, I have a share from my buddy and dear friend Tony Roberts! I had visited his website and just had to laugh a little when I seen him share this on his website of “Delight in Disorder”>>>> https://delightindisorder.org/ . . .




Health Doctor Medical - Free image on Pixabay



10 Reasons to Leave Your Psychiatrist

It’s time to leave your psychiatrist when s/he says…

     1)   Enough about your mother, let’s talk about mine.

     2)   Sure, the blue meds are working, but the pink pills are so much cuter.

     3)    In my professional opinion, you’re crazier than a loon.

     4)     Suicide, smooicide.

     5)     If you want a taste of E.C.T.  just stick your tongue to this car battery here.

     6)     What was that you said?  I was too busy picturing you in the nude.

     7)     Before we treat your O.C.D. I’d like you to clean out my garage.

     8)     You think you’ve got problems!  My Porsche has a flat tire.

     9)     I can see now why your wife wants to leave you.

     10)   You think, you’re fat because you are fat.

Shared By Pastor and Advocate Tony Roberts




Now Some Gambling Recovery News, Announcements, and Events Coming Soon.

September Web Letter 2021
News From FCCG


Please Visit Them At>>> https://gamblinghelp.org/about/history

***********************************************************************

NCPG Announces Dates for 2022 National Conference

09.15.21JOHN NORTON

Dual Model Maximizes Options for Attendees

Washington, DC – The National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) today announced dates and format for the 2022 National Conference on Gambling Addiction and Responsible Gambling. It will utilize a dual format, with an online Digital Symposium June 8-9 and in-person sessions July 20-23, 2022, at the Westin Seaport in downtown Boston, MA. The conference will be hosted by the Massachusetts Council on Gaming & Health (MACGH), NCPG’s local state affiliate chapter.

“We know well from experience that virtual training makes it easy for people across the country to attend,” said NCPG Board President Maureen Greeley. “We also clearly understand that the value of coming together in-person has not been lost—it is still a hallmark of our National Conference. Coming together offers another level of engagement, connection, and positive energy. NCPG’s 2022 national conference offers the best of both worlds. We look forward to seeing you — virtually and in person in Boston next year.”

MACGH returns as conference host after the highly successful event in Boston.

“We couldn’t be more pleased to welcome our friends and colleagues back to Boston for the first in-person conference in two years,” said Marlene Warner, Executive Director, MACGH.  “Massachusetts boasts some of the best and most innovative approaches to safer gaming and player health programs in the world.  Since we last hosted ten years ago, a new gaming industry has emerged, as well as evidence-based and award-winning approaches to research, community outreach, self-exclusion, technological interventions, and recovery support. We invite everyone to join us in one of America’s most beautiful and historical cities, perfect for a family vacation before or after the conference.  We look forward to sharing how the field of responsible gambling and problem gambling has grown and evolved.”

The event is the oldest and largest annual conference on gambling addiction and responsible gambling in the world. Now in its 36th year, the event brings together individuals and organizations working on prevention, education, treatment, responsible gambling, regulation, research, and recovery. With nationally and internationally known speakers, hundreds of diverse attendees will take part in a wide-ranging blend of sessions and topics that are unique to NCPG’s ‘special blend’ of curated content for this conference. More details about the program will be added as it becomes available to the conference web page at www.ncpgambling.org/conference. Sponsorship and registration information will be forthcoming later in the fall, as will the call for presentations.

About the National Council on Problem Gambling
Based in Washington DC, the National Council on Problem Gambling is the only national nonprofit organization that seeks to minimize the economic and social costs associated with gambling addiction by working with all stakeholders. NCPG is neutral on legalized gambling. If gambling becomes a problem, NCPG urges people who gamble, as well as their loved ones, to contact the National Problem Gambling Helpline, which offers hope and help without judgment or shame. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, call or text 1-800-522-4700 or visit www.ncpgambling.org/chat. Help is available 24/7 – it is free, anonymous and confidential.

About MAGCH: The Massachusetts Council on Gaming and Health (MACGH) is a statewide non-profit agency that promotes public health by mitigating the negative personal and community impacts of gambling and gaming. They accomplish their mission through training and education, federal and state advocacy, research and gaming play information, and prevention and recovery programs. They serve individuals who game and gamble and their loved ones. Since its inception in 1983, the MACGH has taken a neutral stance on legal gambling and gaming. MACGH works with key stakeholders such as gaming operators, vendors, regulators, clinicians, people in recovery, and other community-based agencies to help protect individuals from the potential public health impacts of gaming.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
September 15, 2021

CONTACT:
John Norton
johnn@ncpgambling.org
202-360-4560





Never Underestimate The Power of Divine Intervention…It Saved My Life & How I began The Path Within Long-Term Recovery.

Never Underestimate The Power of Divine Intervention…It Saved My Life & How I began The Path Within Long-Term Recovery.


There are certain situations that people find themselves, that it is only the hand of God that can bring them out. Divine intervention is the sudden movement of God upon your situation and challenges and when God is fighting for you as no one can harm you when under the covering of God…

~Unknown


Let me share how I work my recovery and some of my backstory, if you will, about my recovery journey within my faith.

Now, I’m not going to preach a ‘Sunday Gospel Sermon’ to you all… lol.

These are just some of my personal experiences of why I believe my recovery wouldn’t work doing so all by myself. I believe in a higher power greater and my higher power happens to be God and his Son, our Lord, and savior, Jesus Christ.

In November of 2002, my mother had passed, and then my best friend due to cancer, and my addiction at that time got so severe I tried suicide. My gambling addiction was raging out of control. My 40th birthday was in a week, and there I was, suffering in an addictions/mental health crisis center. I became one of the gambling addiction statistics OF 1 in 5 will try suicide.


Thankfully God stepped in and helped me when I could not help myself. I ended up at a Indian Casino for hours on a bad gambling binge when I was supposed to be at my best friend’s memorial service.


All of these events and loss was too much for me to handle!

See, I had turned my back on God when I became a gambling addict. Sounds kind of corny, but I would tell myself, “how can Jesus love me when I hate myself and deep into my addiction?” I felt he probably gave up on me anyway. I learned this was not true. But I kept on within my addiction and was deep in selfishness. I was lost, broken, and spiritually gone. Not knowing God had been with me every step of the way!


We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by GOD. HIS divine  intervention is always purposeful. | Quotes about god, Jesus peace, Trust  god



Within almost 30-days in this crisis center, I began a gambling treatment program. I was also diagnosed with several mental health disorders and started a medication treatment plan as well. I became a dually diagnosed person and beginning recovery. It was way more than I could handle or wrap my mind around at that time. I had a tough time accepting the fact that I had several mental disorders. And, yes, I did have another failed suicide in 2006, but that was all from my two of the medications I was on had stopped working. And, well, that is another post for another time.

Soon after my release from the crisis center, and while I was in the center, my husband started attended Church with his friends from work. It was where he drew his strength from as all this chaos I created with my addicted gambling. Faith helped me shed the guilt and pain of knowing what I put my husband through. Because now I had even MORE GUILT of scaring our families and my husband with my failed suicide! My husband kept going to Church and didn’t push me to go.

See, we were both raised Catholics, but a few years into our marriage, we stopped attending mass as we both felt disappointed about all the media and news coming out about the abuse of many children at the hands of priests. We also didn’t feel right or agree any longer about “giving confession ” as it felt like it was an intrusion of our relationship, our personal relationship with God.


I finally decided to go with him to Church and we attended Calvary Chapel in late December 2002. By August of 2003, we rededicated our lives and faith to Christ by being rebaptized, still living in Grants Pass, Oregon at that time, and within the Famous Rogue River.


This was a miracle for me as I had my husband on one side and the Pastor on the other. When they lifted me out of the water? I honestly felt feelings I had never had before. It was like all the bad in my life and within addiction had slipped away and replaced by what I felt: God’s love, grace, and mercy, and I haven’t looked back since!

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I still have and feel those same feelings today.

Without my faith in my higher power, GOD, I know that I would not be sharing this with you. I genuinely am a living, breathing, walking MIRACLE of God, his power greater than myself. It has enabled me to reach over 14+years maintaining my recovery path and counting.


Do I go to Church every Sunday?

No, because as God tells us in Matthew 18:20 – – “For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”


So, long story short, never underestimate the power of your higher power. It is where all your MIRACLES within recovery come from!

~Catherine Townsend-Lyon, Advocate


Amazon.com: Out of a Mountain of Despair A Stone of Hope MLK Jr Poster | Dr  Martin Luther King Jr Inspirational Poster | 18-Inch by 12-Inch | HRD068 :  Office Products




Big Thank You To All My Recovery Visitors & Followers For Making This HAPPEN…BAM! A Thousand Followers and Counting!



1,000 Follows!
Bet Free Recovery Now Reached 1000 followers and my supporters!



Congratulations on getting 1,000 total followers on Bet Free Recovery Now Shares Hope, Support, & Resources From Problem Gambling & Recovery.!

Your current tally is 1,001.



This would never have happened without all my recovery friends, supporters, and the recovery COURIOUS! I hope I have been of help and a source of HOPE to those who visit that may have a Gambling Problem and looking for resources or just come to read some of my recovery experiences, strength, and hope!

I know recovery is not an easy road to travel, especially early recovery, but if I can help you in away, do not be afraid to reach out to me by email to lyonmedia@aol.com and I’ll be there for you!

Why is Gambling Addiction The Hardest Form of Addiction To Beat? Is It The Denial & Lying? Or Is It Really All Just Fun and Games?

There could be thousands of reasons why people adopt gambling, and even psychologists don’t know why people gamble? It started as fun for some persons, and for some, it was meant to escape their sorrows. But in the end, the result was always the same; Gambling Stops Being a Diversion and Becomes an Addiction. 


~Catherine Townsend-Lyon Author and Experienced Gambling Advocate of Recovery


Life is a gamble. | Casino quotes, Life is a gamble, Gambling
~Marc Alo


A while back I came across what looked like a new Gambling Addiction and Recovery blog that seemed to really never transpire. I happened to visit again and the same original first post was still up, but not much activity after. That is the “nature of the beast” when it comes to addicted gambling. It seems sometimes the addiction may win over just trying to “will it away” and it won’t work very well.

But then? EUREKA! More New Posts Began To Be Posted! And many of Uri’s posts are not only informative? They are very revealing to the facts that Gambling Addiction truly is the hardest addiction to KICK! So, my deepest hope for all who visit me will take some time and go visit Uri and read a few of his posts about his recovery journey.

He speaks very openly as he shares his gambling and his recovery hopes and challenges. One that is really difficult and will share a little of his post is about LYING to his partner. For me? That was all about being in DENIAL.

Denial is like lying to ourselves that we do have a gambling problem, and why true surrender is so hard to come to that place. So here is a little of Uri’s post about “LYING” to his partner, and then you can finish reading his new post… https://gambling-addictions.com/2021/06/05/why-i-cant-stop-lying/

~Catherine Lyon

A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope | Picture  Quotes
~William Bolitho


“I am not upset that you lied to me; I am upset that from now on I can never believe you” ~Friedrich Nietzsche


After being more than 2 years free from gambling activities, I noticed that I still have a huge problem with lying to my partner. It became a habit and somehow I can’t stop lying to my partner. Someone once said to me that for as long as you lied to your partner, expect them not to believe you for the same time after you stop lying. It will hurt when they question you when you are telling the truth, you will be surprised because you never even thought to lie.

This advice helped me to think that did I achieve anything worthwhile by lying or cheating. I started thinking that what I am hiding from her? Why I am so insecure? Why my self-respect is at rock bottom? Why I am addicted to lying? Sooner I realized that lying is like a slippery dangerous slope with nothing good at the bottom but misery and empty life.

We all lie in different situations in our lives. We all have our reasons for lying, it may be to escape punishment in our childhood. When we grow up, we lie to get attention or sympathies and some even create stories to set friends against each other or get others in trouble. It is an expression of being afraid, what others will think, afraid of facing the reality. We want to show people that we are better than others and reflect the weakness of our character. This could be the result of low self-esteem, fear of rejection, desire to please, or any other nuanced reasons.


A liar justifies or makes stories to cover up something he has done wrong. To cover the first lie, another lie is required and this leads to an endless chain of lies. I had no idea about my case, why I was manipulating different situations to lie with my partner. Sooner I realized that I am a habitual liar, I tried to discover the root of my behavior, why I am doing and what I am avoiding. I thought that if I want to spend the rest of my life with my partner, I must avoid this habit of lying to restore the level of trust in our relationship. 

If you are constantly lying to your dear ones and you are not able to do anything about it, then you don’t want to change. You cannot change what has developed in you for years. If someone matters to you in your life then you have to be truthful or else you will end up losing not only that person but your importance, your respect and the likeness you were trying to create will go away in a moment and will never come back.

All the lies which are still covered can come crashing down on your head at any time. You will live in constant fear of the truth being discovered and expose you which creates a bad effect on your nerves. Stop living in dream world with a fake identity. Get out of your unreal world and start living in present rather than the past or future.

A person who often tells fibs will never have trustworthy friends and will not be loved by anyone. Life is not only judged by a rich lifestyle, fluent language ability, or branded clothes. It is measured by the number of faces who simile when they hear your name. Analyze your life and try to find how it has impacted your life and others around you. Somewhere or somehow it has broken a lot of innocent hearts or brought tears to the eyes of your loved ones.

Do you think you feel happy about it?

How To Stop Lying?

Start thinking, why you want to quit lying, think about the bad things associated with being a liar. I am not an expert by any means but you must ask yourself why you are lying? Why are you not comfortable with the truth? Learn to appreciate things you have in life and be satisfied with your family, friends, and your surroundings.

But what makes sense to me is that instead of trying “not to lie anymore” which is difficult to achieve in one day, try to focus on making little but sturdy progress. Think to yourself why you’re lying? Why are you not comfortable with the truth? Is it because you are not confident? Or on the other hand you fear reality?

You can’t change the past, the past is immutable. But as long as you understand that the time of yore was something that you’ve learned, and then it won’t haunt you as much.

Few imperative things to consider while struggling to come out of this habit:

  • Never give up! People have thrived in breaking the nastiest & most addictive habits, you can do the same!
  • Change is going on in little- often not noticeable steps. Don’t be disheartened if you don’t observe changes immediately, YOU ARE CHANGING!
  • There will be setbacks. There is no way to accomplish a goal without failing on the way. Remember: failing doesn’t mean to stop struggling and starting all over again; you rewired your brain by fighting your habit & it will become easier & easier until it will go away!

  • NOW I hope you’ll go and read “The Rest Of The Story” by Uri… https://gambling-addictions.com/2021/06/05/why-i-cant-stop-lying/


65 Recovery Humor Sobriety ideas | recovery humor, sobriety, sober life
Humor Soothes The Soul…



More Informative Articles and Posts:

https://www.beforeyoubet.org/10-common-lies-compulsive-gamblers-tell/

https://www.beforeyoubet.org/the-quiz/

https://gambling-addictions.com/2021/04/22/gamblings-impact-on-families/


Help With ‘Gambling Addiction(.)Com’ It’s a Great Place For Helpful Information and Resources For The Problem Gambler and The Family. . .


Gambling Addiction Help
Help With Gambling Addiction.com



My dear friend Mark has been running this gambling recovery website since I began my own journey of recovery and shortly after my book had released. It sometimes is not as active as it should be, because just like gambling addiction itself? It is still a hush, hush, silent taboo topic to be open and talk about due to the heavy shame and guilt. Those who become problem gamblers or have lost control of their gambling, don’t want to admit they have a problem.

And that can come from denial or blame others, or they are just not ready to get help.

So I wanted share some from Mark’s website here as he shares that gambling addiction doesn’t care who you are or where you are from, it will touch even your teens! But there is help available and HOPE. I am living proof that recovery is possible, it does work if your are willing, and you don’t have to get to dire straights to gain your life back from this cunning addiction. Now, I will tell you that Mark and his website leans in heavy for Gamblers Anonymous and the 12-Step program. But, I can tell you it didn’t work for me alone.

My addiction was so bad I had to do ANY and EVERYTHING I could find, including a treatment in-patient program (NOT BY CHOICE) but it saved my life! Then I transitioned to out-patient treatment with therapy and group. It doesn’t matter what you choose to get back to a life without a “Monkey on your BACK,” just pick something and stick with it! So, here is the areas I wanted to share from Mark’s website as it is very informative as gambling addiction becomes a FAMILY addiction. Everyone becomes effected by the addict. Support is the KEY. . .


Help With Gambling Addiction – A Guide for Impacted Families


Are you looking for help with gambling addiction?  

Do you have a loved one who’s a problem gambler?  Maybe you’re not quite sure yet if they have a gambling problem, and you’re starting to research?  Or maybe you’re already certain that there’s a problem, and are looking for help?  Wherever you are in this process, this website focuses on all types of gambling problem recovery topics for the loved ones of problem gamblers.  While there’s information on the site that problem gamblers themselves may also find helpful, the focus is to provide help to the loved ones of gamblers impacted by the gambling problem.

It’s important to understand that I’m not a professional in the field of problem gambling or addictions, nor I am even in the medical field.  I am, however, someone with first-hand experience discovering that my spouse is a problem gambler, and living with the hardship and turmoil that comes from the progressive disease of gambling.  

Fortunately, I also have experience working through the addiction recovery process with my spouse, and for myself.  So while I’m not a expert in the field, and have no professional qualifications to give advice, I can speak from personal experience, and straight from my heart to yours to hopefully help you and your family start down the road to recovery.

Through my own research, including Internet searches, books, and individual therapy, I came to realize that while resources gamblers to get help with gambling addiction is plentiful, help for the spouses and loved ones is few and far between.  Hence, seeing this gap, I became motivated to put together this website as a free resource.  

If I can help even one person, or one family find the right path for helping your gambler and/or yourself, then it will have been worthwhile.  Essentially, this site contains information that is from my personal experience, as well as concepts and techniques that I’ve compiled over the years, including talking with my individual therapist, talking with others with problem gamblers in their lives, as well as what I learned through the intervention experience that myself and my loved one went through.

Gambling Warning Signs




What to look for if you think a loved or partner has a gambling problem

  • Your spouse disappears for long periods of time during the day and/or night, and doesn’t provide adequate reasons when questioned, or is obviously lying.
  • You know your spouse is gambling and money continually goes missing, and this is either creating financial strain in terms of paying for bills and activities, or you have already begun defaulting on loans and other payments.
  • When you discuss the topic of problem gambling, they either dismiss it as not an issue, or acknowledge that things have gotten out of hand, but that they can stop if they want to.
  • You’ve found yourself making significant financial adjustments, whether it’s moving (whether due to a foreclosure or voluntarily selling your home), downsizing cars (or repossessions), etc.
  • You’re credit cards have consistently higher balances due to cash advances, or are over limit, and you’re getting calls from collectors.
  • Money from your bank accounts is disappearing due to unexpected/unaccounted for withdrawals.
  • Large unexplained sums of money are deposited to your bank account.
  • Communication with your spouse is difficult, stressful, or generally ineffective or non-existent.
  • They’ve attended Gamblers Anonymous and either continue to gamble or have discontinued attending meetings.
  • They tried individual therapy and/or couples therapy with you, and they continue to gamble.
  • You generally feel that your life is out of control and unmanageable.
  • Etc…



In addition to sharing experiences, ideas, and techniques in dealing with a loved one who’s a problem gambler, this site is also meant to provide information about problem gambling itself.  What is it?  How do you know your loved one is a problem gambler?  Can it be cured?  What’s Gamblers Anonymous?  What’s Gam-Anon?  

Other questions that you might be asking yourself at this point might include:

  • What can I do to help?
  • Should I do something to help or leave it be?
  • Should I stay with, or leave my gambler?
  • How should I handle finances?
  • Is gambling really a disease?


Although I’ve used the word “should” liberally, inferring that you’ll find all of THE answers here, that’s not going to be the case.  Everyone’s situation is so unique, personal, and complex that no one could possibly tell you exactly what to do.  The reality is that there’s truly no one right answer for your situation.  

There are different paths you can take, each one with its pros and cons.  Ultimately you’ll need to decide what’s best for you and your personal situation.  In fact, I would venture to say that if someone purports to KNOW exactly what you should do, I would caution you, as nothing is that simple, even for a problem gambling professional or addiction specialist.

Unlike other resources available to you, it not only provides the background information regarding getting help with gambling addiction all in one place, but also provides a forum for people to share their experiences, as well as ask and answer questions.  While hopefully you’ll come to believe that there’s no one right answer to your problems, it can often be very helpful to ask a question and have a direct dialog about possible answers/solutions.  I’ve found that this type of forum is not readily available for loved ones of problem gamblers.

If you’ve read this far, it’s highly likely that you’re feeling overwhelmed by the gambling problem in your life, and you need help.  While this site won’t cure your problems, you can rest assured that you’ve found a place to learn, share, and dialog with people who understands what you’re experiencing, and who can help guide you to the tools you’ll need for the learning process.  As the site grows, it will become even more valuable for you as you read about others who have experienced similar situations, and learn about what they did to work towards rebuilding a healthy way of life.

Learn more about the Effects of Gambling Addiction

About, My Gambling Addiction Story Learn about MY story!

Help for Gambling Addiction, Options for Getting Help
Is a problem gambler impacting your life? Learn different ways to get help for gambling addiction.

Gambling Addiction Help, Stories of Addiction YOUR Stories! Gambling addiction help includes sharing stories with others affected by the gambling problem.

Share YOUR story! Gambling Addiction Blog

The Gambling Addiction Blog keeps you up-to-date with all additions and changes to the Help With Gambling Addiction site. . . https://www.help-with-gambling-addiction.com/

*** *** *** *** *** ***

I URGE All My Friends and Visitors to My Website Here of “Bet Free Recovery Now” take some time to visit Mark at his site and share your comments of hope and inspire those who may be needing it over this long 4th of July Holiday Weekend. https://www.help-with-gambling-addiction.com/

~Advocate/Author, Catherine Lyon



Does Self-Ban Work? Do Casinos Monitor or Check ID’S of Self-Banning? Happy to Share My Experiences About This Topic & Problem Gambling With NBC 4 News and I-Reporter, Scott MacFarlane & Team.

WELCOME RECOVERY FRIENDS, WARRIORS, and New Visitors,


What an exciting week I have had! My book marketing is picking up again, and I have met two new women I’ll be mentoring with gambling problems. God is good! It kills me to know so many people are suffering in silence from problem gambling or with a full-blown addiction to it.

So, a few weeks ago, I was honored with a Facebook messenger from a guy I will call a new friend and supporter. I had seen him a few times while my husband and I watch MSNBC on cable. So when I noticed the Facebook message from an investigative news reporter, Scott MacFarlane? I thought someone was playing a JOKE on me. (lol).

It was him! I think my long-time friend Keith Whyte, the head director of The National Council on Problem Gambling, is located in Washington, D.C., where his video zoom interview was done. Make sure you give the full story below a read, as it is very informative.

I know Scott and his I-team work hard to bring this information to light. We all know that problem gambling is still a hush, hush problem, and we need to continue shining a bright light to bring it out of the dark! So I thank Scott for the opportunity to share some of my experiences in this video and story. ~Advocate, Catherine Townsend-Lyon



Maryland Casinos See Jump in Voluntarily Banned Gamblers Returning

By Scott MacFarlaneRick YarboroughSteve Jones and Jeff Piper  Published May 12, 2021  Updated on May 12, 2021 at 6:34 pm

CLICK Link To Watch Video Story>>>> https://www.nbcwashington.com/investigations/maryland-casinos-see-jump-in-voluntarily-banned-gamblers-returning/2668935/


The number of problem gamblers caught violating their voluntary bans from Maryland casinos doubled in March, according to a review by the News4 I-Team.

The loosening of public health restrictions has helped Maryland casinos rebound from some financial losses during the pandemic, but the easing of restrictions has also coincided with a sharp increase in violations by gamblers who have voluntarily banned themselves from casinos. 

When Maryland legalized and approved regulations for casinos nearly a decade ago, the state created a “voluntary exclusion” program. Problem gamblers can voluntarily enroll in the program, which the state calls a “self-help tool” to assist them combat the addiction.

Individuals in the Voluntary Exclusion Program who return to casinos receive a trespassing citation from local law enforcement, not for punitive purposes, but as a means to encourage them to seek (diversion),” the Maryland Lottery and Gaming Control Agency said.

Winnings can also be seized from a gambler who is caught violating the voluntary exclusion program when he or she is removed from a casino. That money goes into the Maryland Problem Gambling Fund.

Enrollment in the program has grown steadily since 2013, according to state records reviewed by the I-Team. But violations spiked suddenly in March, as public health restrictions were loosened in the state. The number of people caught violating their voluntary bans nearly doubled to approximately 70 in March. The number was sharply higher than February and much higher than pre-pandemic levels in early 2020, the I-Team found.


Atlantic City casino profits down 80% in 2020 due to COVID-19
Image Courtesy of USA Today


“They have serious and uncontrollable urges to gamble that they’ve suppressed when the casinos have been closed,” said Keith Whyte of the National Council on Problem Gambling.  

“Now that casinos are reopening, it’s not surprising you’re seeing this increase in violations,” Whyte said.

The I-Team checked with several states that operate or monitor casino “self-exclusion” programs. New York and Michigan gaming agencies both declined I-Team requests to release figures on violations, instead requiring formal Freedom of Information Act requests, which remain pending.

Pennsylvania, which is home to multiple major casinos, released its numbers of voluntary-exclusion violations to the I-Team. The data showed a sharp increase as pandemic health restrictions were eased. Pennsylvania reported approximately 370 problem gambler “self-ban” violations between January and March 2021, up from nearly 155 violations between January and March 2020.

“The only way to ensure these gamblers stay out of casinos is for them to get treatment for their gambling problem,” Whyte said. “Self-exclusion is not addressing the root cause.”

The American Gaming Association said U.S. casinos use technology to help enforce voluntary exclusion programs. The organization also credits MGM National Harbor casino in Prince George’s County with regularly checking IDs of patrons as they enter.  

“The truth is there are 3 percent of the population that take this a little bit too seriously and need help and need interventions,” American Gaming Association spokesman Casey Clark said.

“There are important programs like self-exclusion and the work that the National Center on Problem Gambling and other entities do to help provide the right level of support for folks who aren’t able to enjoy it as a form of entertainment anymore,” Clark said.


Voluntary Exclusion Program Protects Compulsive Gamblers
Sample of a Self-Exclusion Form State of Maryland


Catherine Lyon, a recovering problem gambler who helps counsel others, said voluntary-exclusions lists are often ineffective. Lyon said she enrolled in a “self-ban” list more than 14 years ago from casinos in Oregon as her addiction spiraled.

“Within a month-and-a-half, I was doing anything I can to get in there,” she said.

She said she wore wigs, sunglasses and other disguises to evade detection and was never caught. 

Lyon said problem gambling can lead to desperate decisions and suicidal thoughts.

“It’s very financially devastating,” she said. “I think that the financial part is where they, a lot of people, lose hope. They don’t think they can dig themselves out.”

Lyon said problem gamblers must supplement their voluntary exclusions with a treatment program or other efforts to combat the addiction.

Howard Riback, a recovering problem gambler and popular radio host and motivational speaker in Canada, said he anticipated a surge in violations by problem gamblers.

“I am not surprised at all,” Riback said. “People are walking around more depressed, more time on their hands; zombie-like people don’t know what’s going to be tomorrow, let alone next week.” 

Riback said although problem gamblers should be congratulated for enrolling in voluntary exclusion programs, they must also seek out treatment and therapy.

“I’m proud that I was able to end that horrific part of my life, but until the day I die, those scars will be with me,” Riback said. “And make no mistake, the (scars) are not going anywhere. They’re memories with every passing day.”

Whyte, the head of the National Council on Problem Gambling, said casinos nationwide could more effectively police for gamblers who have voluntarily banned themselves.

“The casino has a wealth of systems to track players, but it always seems to fail when it comes to tracking those who self-exclude,” said Whyte.

But the Maryland Lottery and Gaming Control Agency said casinos are effective in enforcing the program.

“The Maryland Lottery and Gaming Control Agency has issued a ‘notice of regulatory violation’ to various casinos for instances when an individual enrolled in the voluntary exclusion program was permitted to gamble or obtain a cash advance,” the agency said. “These are infrequent events, and the casinos are doing an effective job monitoring play by excluded players — both by self-reporting voluntary exclusion program violators to the (agency) each month and also by taking appropriate action against voluntary exclusion violators. No financial penalties have been assessed.” 

More information can be found at 1-800-GAMBLER or by visiting mdgamblinghelp.org.
Or The National Hotline For Problem Gambling – 1-800-522-4700

Reported by Scott MacFarlane, produced by Rick Yarborough, and shot and edited by Steve Jones and Jeff Piper.

This article tagged under:

GAMBLING ADDICTIONMARYLAND CASINOSBANNED

Problem Gambling Awareness Month: Self-Sabotage Can Be a Root To Our Problem Gambling. Guest Post on How To Stop.


I want to talk about a bad habit and behavior of self-sabotage. I know the meaning of it very intimately. For those who don’t? Here is what it means. Self-Sabotage: The dictionary definition of sabotage is “an act or process tending to hamper or hurt” or “deliberate subversion.” Mine started way before I became a gambling addict. I also feel it became worse during my addiction like added fuel to fire. In early recovery and through therapy, I was able to look back throughout my life and examine many of my past relationships where I had self-sabotaged them in many ways.

I feel that when we ‘self-sabotage’ things in our lives, it is tied to not having self-esteem or self-worth within ourselves. Like we are not “worthy” of love or people treating us well. It came from being raised with parents who didn’t understand children crave unconditional love and their validation when we do good. And I am NOT blaming my parents that they were this way, no, it may have been how they were raised and raised in way different times than what we live in today.




I would sabotage relationships, many with men, women, co-workers, anyone. I can not count how many times I would be dating a really nice guy, when things started to become serious and he would treat me like a ‘queen,’ I would for some reason feel I wasn’t worthy or special enough so,  I would just break up with them, or cause a fight or just ignore them and move on. Where this was coming from at the time I did not know. This became even worse when I was addicted to gambling and finally learning it was part of the “Brains Dopamine Pleasure & Reward System.”

But fast forward in life and I continued this strange self-sabotage behavior. When I became addicted to gambling and in the worst of it, strangely the feelings of what I was doing to myself, my husband, friends, and family felt oddly normal to me. I think it was because I figured, “well, since I feel not worthy of goodness in my life it didn’t matter if I hurt others with my addicted gambling.” That was my sick and the diseased thinking at the time. Sadly, I was getting back at those who had caused me pain or hurt me. I was just hurting myself and everyone around me with both my gambling and self-sabatoge.

I came across a website that had a good explamation and article about this subject that helped me understand more of why I was doing it. SO I want to share it with you. I know I am not the only person who has had this problem and the post explains some of how we can stop self-sabatoge. It helped me and I hope it may help others.


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OVERCOMING SELF-SABOTAGE

by Adam Sicinski

WHAT IS SELF-SABOTAGE?

Self-sabotage is any behavior, thought, emotion or action that holds you back from getting what you want consciously. Moreover, it is the conflict that exists between conscious desires and unconscious wants that manifests in self-sabotage patterns. It not only prevents you from reaching your goal, but also becomes a safety mechanism that protects you against disappointment. In other words, your brain is protecting you from getting hurt by doing what it thinks is best, which is keeping you within your comfort zone.

Self-sabotage tends to linger in our lives because of a lack of self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-belief. Likewise, we suffer from self-sabotage patterns because we are unable to manage our emotions effectively. We tend to react to events, circumstances and people in ways that hinder our progress and prevent us from reaching our goals and objectives.

Self-sabotage is also used as a method of coping with difficult situations or high expectations of ourselves or others that we unconsciously feel we are not capable of reaching. No matter what our reasons for self-sabotage it is clear that if we don’t do something about it, that we will continue to live a life full of regrets and unfulfilled expectations.

Eliminating Self-Sabotage Process

There is a simple yet very effective process that we can follow to help us eliminate self-sabotage from our lives. The process is composed of four steps that will help you to take conscious control of the behaviors that are currently directing your decisions and actions. Learn to get out of your own way!




1. Identify Self-Sabotage Behavior

First we must identify the behavior that is preventing us from moving forward. To do this, we must become consciously aware of our daily decisions and actions and the resulting consequences. Once identified, it’s important to pinpoint specific triggers that may be causing this behavior to come through to the surface. These triggers could include people, objects, specific times, events, locations, etc. Next, we must ask ourselves whether we can avoid these triggers altogether?

By simply removing these triggers from our lives we will be better prepared to take conscious control of our thoughts, feelings and actions. However, there is yet another factor that we must take into consideration, which is the limiting beliefs we have associated with each particular self-sabotage pattern. The key is to identify these limiting beliefs, then work on transforming them into positive empowering beliefs that work for us rather than against us. One of the simplest ways to do this is the question the validity of your belief. 

Ask yourself:

What is it that I believe in this situation?

What is it that I believe about myself and my own abilities?

How did my belief about this trigger this self-sabotage pattern?

How is this belief ridiculous and impractical?

What would others say about this belief?

What is another more helpful perspective I could take of this situation?


These questions are a good starting point and will get you focused in the right direction.


2. Recreate Self-Sabotage Pattern from Beginning

Having completed step #1, you can now consciously recreate the self-sabotage pattern by outlining all the triggers and the associating behaviors that manifest as a result of these triggers. It’s important that you are clear how this behavior manifests in your life before moving onto the next step.

3. Identify Healthy Replacement Behavior

In order to eliminate an old pattern of behavior we often must replace it with a new pattern of behavior that’s more practical and helpful. This is important because often we simply can’t avoid certain triggers such as people, objects or circumstances that cause us to react in limiting ways. As such, we must take time to identify a new, different and appropriate way of responding that will help us to achieve our goals and objectives. 

Ask yourself:

.

How could I respond in a more appropriate and proactive manner that would help me get what I want?

How is this a better way to respond?

What are some reasons for making this change?

What could be the long-term benefits of transforming how I respond in this situation?

What are the key advantages of this new behavior?



4. Practice New Behavior Until Habit is Formed

Once you have identified your new behavior, you must now take the time to practice implementing it as often as possible over the next four weeks until a habit is formed. First begin by running your response to the situation in your imagination, seeing every detail, and feeling the positive energy churning through your body as you overcome this self-sabotage pattern.

Now that your imagination has been primed, you are now ready to put yourself in situations that will naturally trigger your old patterns of behavior, however this time, you are primed with a new response mechanism that you will continue to practice over the next four weeks until a new habit is finally formed. NOW GO READ THE REST OF THIS AMAZING ARTICLE ON… Again, I hope you will go read this full article http://blog.iqmatrix.com/overcome-self-sabotage as it has many tips and advice on taking control over self-sabatoge in your life and in your recovery journey!

10 Self Care Tips for 2019 – The Red & Black

Childhood Trauma & Abuse Does Happen. It Is Part of My Past & Roots to My Gambling Addiction and a Way to Cope. Now It Can Stay In My Past. . .

Childhood Trauma & Abuse Does Happen. It Is Part of My Past & Roots to My Gambling Addiction and a Way to Cope. Now It Can Stay In My Past. . .


My father recently passed away of COVID. He lived in Southern California with my older sister in the home, where horrible memories of my past childhood still lay. When I first began my recovery journey,
I wasn’t ready to dive into my past childhood trauma and haunting memories.

It took me a few years and a lot of therapy to even begin to process this and forgive and lay those haunting memories away. It was some of the roots and underlying issues of how I got sucked into my gambling addiction. I was using gambling as a coping skill and an escape from the pain of my childhood trauma until I finally could not stuff away any longer.

Even when I began writing and journaling for my book over a year to see what gambling addiction had taken from me, I was just not ready to share that part of my past. Now that my mom and dad have passed on, it has again begun to surface slightly.

One of the many amazing things about truly working through childhood sexual abuse is the act of taking every single thought and terrible memory captive and watching Christ redeem them, facing them, and feeling them. Without making excuses. Without placing or taking the blame. Finally, today the abuse and abuser no longer linger in the darkest parts of your mind controlling or tainting the memories you have because I have many happy childhood memories despite what happened to me.


But with my dad’s passing, it seemed they were front and center. I was begging them to be defeated. Way back then, every day, and sometimes minute-by-minute, battles are fought to reclaim simple things, innocent objects, smells, and sounds. Things that may seem trivial to others represent a great victory.  That being said, today, I fought a battle and won. Today, I reclaimed what should have been a pleasant childhood memory. Today, I ate an Italian wedding cookie and enjoyed it. That won’t mean much to you, but to me, it is a significant victory.

The significance of this? As a little girl, we would go on weekends to see my aunt Anna and uncle Frank who lived in Palm Springs, CA., and my uncle Frank would always prepare a special dinner to eat for our visits which included terrific desserts. I loved my aunt Anna as she bought and gave me my very first Bible.

And I would love to hear my uncle Frank talk and share about all the famous people who came into his restaurant and who he cooked for, like Bob Hope, former President Ford, famous golfers, and many others. I loved going swimming too, as they had a fantastic pool in the backyard. 

My uncle would always make one of my favorites, Italian wedding cookies. However, I didn’t get to eat them until my parents brought them home because my oldest brother would talk me into staying home; he’d beg and entice me with all kinds of lies.

And that is when the trauma would occur. It was only then, after being a good girl, until our parents got home late that evening, I would have access to my favorite cookies. It didn’t take long before those cookies became like poison. For the mere smell of almond or amaretto to make me physically ill.

After hiding the sordid details of my childhood back then, I believe the Holy Spirit, moving, convinced me it was time to process and bury my demons and began for me around age 30. But now it is time to rebury more old demons, and the only way I could do that was to reclaim the territory my enemy had taken so many years ago—Italian wedding cookies.  As I paused before taking a bite, I reminded myself of where I was today within my recovery journey, and I took a bite. It was wonderful. Not only did it taste good, but I felt strong.

As if I was declaring to my abuser, “No! You may not have these cookies! (Yes, my brother had apologized, I forgave him, we have made amends as he shared with me & my husband that had been molested by our uncle Joe when we lived in NJ.)



You defiled my innocence, not knowing his was to. Still, you may not steal my ability to enjoy a cookie!” My life is full of moments like that. Every day there is a battle fought and sometimes won. They often go unnoticed by the people closest to me. However, they are mighty victories. There are often things we carry from our childhood that restrain our ability to enjoy simple things. 

Abuse and trauma can destroy our ability to accept and receive the good things God intended for us to have. Love and intimacy are some of those things. Just as the smell of a particular type of cookie triggered a reaction of fear and shame, the idea of love can seem meant for destruction. Therefore, the very idea that God “loves” us terrifies us.

Love to an abuse survivor often means manipulation and pain. So it took me a while to grasp the concept of God’s unconditional love. Why? My parents did not understand it, so I was not raised with it. Of course, not blaming my parents at all. They may not have been taught knowing what unconditional love was either. 

It took me years to begin to understand that Christ chose me; He loves me not because He needs me for anything. He did not send His son to die for me in an attempt to guilt me into trusting Him or doing things for Him. He chose me and loved me because He is God. He is all-sufficient.

I may not be able to reclaim my childhood. I still battle with depression, flashbacks, and agoraphobia. However, I chose the love of Christ to reclaim how I react to things. I can select feeling pleasure over feeling fear, and I can choose love over hate. I can pick these things because Christ has given me the power and ability, just as my recovery is a part of the freedom found in Christ. 

He has given me the ability to and the freedom from addiction and bondage of addicted gambling! 

He gave me the freedom to love, freedom to forgive, freedom to rejoice, And the freedom to enjoy a cookie! 

Catherine Lyon, Recovery Advocate

My brother, me, my older sis, my little sister in Palm Springs, CA.


Before You Place a Bet on Super Bowl? Read This Courtesy of My Friends of ‘Know The Odds.’ Please, Gamble Responsibly…

Before You Place a Bet on Super Bowl? Read This Courtesy of My Friends of ‘Know The Odds.’ Please, Gamble Responsibly…



Now that Super Bowl LV is upon us, my friends of “Know The Odds” shares some sound advice in this guest post. Do you plan on betting on the Super Bowl?

Please, do it responsibly. If you think a friend or loved is having gambling problems? There is hope and help at the bottom of this guest post … Catherine Lyon, Advocate

SUPER BOWL AND HELPING LOVED ONES AVOID PROBLEM GAMBLING


Gambling and the Super Bowl

Super Bowl media attention is everywhere. You can hear about it on the news, on sports stations, in the newspapers and in every office we work in. Many offices have square charts in the back room where employees can participate in gambling on who they believe would win or the points or on how long the national anthem will last or anything else. Some people literally gamble on every aspect of the event.

If an individual, or groups of individuals, are so focused on gambling on every part of the Super Bowl event, are they really enjoying the game or are they hunting for a “high?”  And if they’re only hunting for the high, what about their careers?  What about loved ones (family children, etc.)?  If the individual is so hyper focused on gambling rather than enjoying the game, it seems that this becomes the focus and takes away from the social aspects of enjoying a sporting event with loved ones.

The Effects of Problem Gambling

For people struggling with problem gambling, this might be their story. There are many people across New York State who experience a slew of problems associated with their gambling behavior. Some of these problems can be damaged relationships with a spouse and/or children, conflicts at work, and mental health issues like depression and anxiety.  Gambling may have even turned into an addiction (i.e., gambling disorder).

For people in recovery, the Super Bowl may be a huge trigger to start gambling again. It may be difficult to avoid talking about the Super Bowl, hearing people talk about betting on the Super Bowl, and feeling the urge to resort to old habits and place a bet of some type on this event.  The Super Bowl may trigger a relapse.


Families Can Take Action

Families and loved ones of someone struggling with a gambling problem, or of someone in recovery from problem gambling may face similar obstacles to support their loved one who is struggling with problem gambling. Similarly, they can be helpful and supportive during this time of year.

Have a conversation

Having a conversation is important for everyone. Whether it’s to let someone know that you believe their gambling is causing problems, or to connect with someone in recovery and find out how they’re feeling. A conversation is a really easy way to get a finger on the pulse of what’s going on with the individual. It’s also a good way to gauge how the family can plan for the upcoming event.

A conversation could be as simple as asking questions like:

  • How are you feeling lately?
  • Are you feeling any pressure at work or from friends to gamble?
  • Are you planning on watching the Super Bowl or would you like us to plan something else as a family?

Some simple questions can get some simple answers. They could also be a springboard to a deeper conversation about the negative effects sports gambling has had. It can also be a great way to identify triggers and other activity ideas to avoid gambling on the Super Bowl.

Identifying Triggers

Triggers are anything that causes an individual to feel the urge to gamble. A trigger could be a commercial about the Super Bowl, it could be hearing the excitement of colleagues talking about their squares, or a trigger could be just knowing the time of year and remembering the feeling, the high, of gambling on the Super Bowl in previous years.  Whatever the triggers may be, it’s important for family and love ones to know what they are so they can help avoid them in conversation, and help prepare the person, struggling to avoid gambling, to know their triggers and come up with alternative activities.

 Alternative Activities

Alternative activities can be different ways to enjoy the Super Bowl. These ways include:

  • Watching it with different people who aren’t gambling,
  • Keeping phones with gambling contacts and apps away,
  • Asking a spouse to keep a close watch on extra money,
  • Avoiding media and social media,
  • Spending time with different people than those who are gambling, and
  • Planning activities that have nothing to do with the Super Bowl.

For people who want to avoid the Super Bowl, so they don’t find themselves in additional problems related to gambling, there are many other things to do during that time.  Ideas to spend time with love ones can include:

  • Boardgames,
  • Legos with children,
  • Video games,
  • Hiking,
  • Bike riding,
  • Snowshoeing,
  • Renovating a room in your home, or
  • Anything else that takes time, energy and focus.

Being that many of us are alone, especially with social distancing, choosing activities to do by yourself is also important. Some activities to do on your own can include (similar to above):

  • Video games,
  • Reading,
  • Re-organizing part of your home,
  • Video chatting with love ones,
  • Planning a movie or night of binge watching your favorite TV show,
  • Reading, or
  • Any type of art or craft.

Really, the options are limitless. And if you’re unsure what to do, reach out to a loved one and find out the best way to fill that time. Making sure there’s a plan to help keep loved ones safe is the best preventative care to help them avoid further problems associated with gambling.


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Additional Support

If you need additional support, or your loved one who struggles with gambling problems has decided to look for help, please reach out to your local Problem Gambling Resource Center at NYProblemGamblingHELP.org. There you can connect with a dedicated professional eager to help you identify local resources and get connected to local support as desired.

There is no pressure with that call; only care and concern. Your local Problem Gambling Resource Center is HERE TO HELP. You can may also call The National Council On Problem Gambling and operates the National Problem Gambling Helpline Network (1-800-522-4700). The network is a single national access point to local resources for those seeking help for a gambling problem. You may also visit their website here https://www.ncpgambling.org/programs-resources/




As The Corona Pandemic Across The Nation is Turning From Bad to Worse. So is Problem Online Gambling While Exploding! Guest Post By The Dawn Rehab…


Risky Business: The Rise in Online Gambling During the COVID-19 Pandemic ~ By Dawn Rehab ~ https://thedawnrehab.com/

Courtesy of The Dawn Rehab


141,310 Gambling Photos - Free & Royalty-Free Stock Photos from Dreamstime


As most people were literally left to their own devices during COVID-19 related lockdowns, many began engaging with technology in different new ways. Recent reports show that online gambling services have exploded in popularity, which could lead to a subsequent increase in gambling addiction.


The implementation of COVID-19 related lockdowns worldwide corresponded with a dramatic increase in many people’s screen time. While swiping the long hours away can help alleviate some of the restlessness and anxiety that comes from being stuck at home, it also increases exposure to heavily marketed goods and services, including online gambling.

Some countries have noted that bookmakers increased advertising on websites and social media to lure in potential customers, which can be problematic for those struggling with a gambling addiction, or those simply suffering from boredom and looking for a way to kill time. 

Approximately 1 percent of the adult population in the United States has a severe gambling problem. The most recent research estimates that 6 to 9 percent of young people and young adults experience problems related to gambling — a higher rate than among adults.

Though a few countries such as Belgium, Spain and Latvia have imposed some restrictions on online gambling in order to try and curb addiction during the lockdowns, the majority of these services remain easily accessible and highly tempting. This poses a serious risk for an uptick in gambling addictions during the pandemic.   

How the Pandemic Has Fueled Online Gambling


In a few short months, our daily lives and regular habits have changed dramatically. Both the physical and mental impacts of the COVID-19 outbreak have contributed to an increased use of online gambling services.

These impacts include: 

Boredom, Depression and Anxiety

Few of us are used to spending so many hours, day after day, in our own homes. Cut off from our regular outdoor activities, classes, and even workspaces, many people began feeling bored, anxious, and even depressed.

The pandemic itself lent to stress not only about our health, but also about our work and relationships. These feelings, plus the shift of most interactions to an online forum, created a perfect storm for susceptibility to clicking onto an online gambling site.

Ban on Live Sports, Closure of Casinos

The crowds found in casinos and sports arenas around the world were quickly recognised as hotspots for the spread of the coronavirus, and were shuttered in many countries. For the first time, major sports seasons and events, including the upcoming Olympics, have been suspended, leaving avid sports fans and casual gamblers at a loss. Dramatic increases in visitors to online gambling sites suggest that people are filling the gap through online gambling. 

Is Online Gambling More Addictive?

A recent study by the UK’s Gambling Commission found that 1.2% of all people who gamble have developed an addiction, but this figure increases to 2.5% when only online sports betting is considered, and a staggering 9.2% when the focus shifts to online gaming like casino games and roulette. 

Part of this is due to the speed of online gambling – gamblers don’t have to wait for specific matches or tournaments, but can place bets in quick succession, chasing wins (or losses) one after the other. Because it is possible to gamble using credit cards instead of cash in hand, debts can be run up extremely quickly before people even really wrap their heads around how much is at stake. The fact that this type of gambling is available 24/7 via a simple click on our phones or computers, also factors into the heightened addiction rates. 

СБУ прикрыла более полусотни онлайн-казино

Additionally, online gambling is more easily hidden. It’s far more obvious if you are spending hours at the casino or at a racetrack than if you are simply sitting in the corner scrolling and clicking. This lack of visibility can mean that others may not see you need help until the problem has become very serious.

Do You Have a Gambling Addiction?

There are many people who do enjoy casual or occasional gambling that does not result in any negative consequences to financial or mental health. These are gamblers who can accept a loss and walk away from a further bet.

However, if you are noticing that you’re clicking into sites more often, and placing larger and larger bets, you may be developing a dependency. Gambling addiction impacts both men and women, and can have serious effects. 

Signs and Symptoms of Gambling Addiction

  • Constantly thinking about or reliving gambling-related experiences
  • Increasing amounts of time during the day spent gambling
  • Repeated, unsuccessful attempts to reduce or stop gambling
  • Using gambling as a “go-to” activity to relax or feel better
  • Having to make increasingly larger or riskier bets to feel satisfied or excited
  • Trying to win back money lost through gambling by engaging in further gambling
  • Attempting to downplay or cover up gambling habits
  • Experiencing financial strain as a result of gambling

Impacts of a Gambling Addiction

When people think of gambling addiction, it is immediately assumed that most of the impacts are financial. While those who struggle with gambling do face financial difficulties as a result of their dependency, the impacts of gambling go far beyond bank accounts, and often have serious negative effects on relationships, work and even legal issues.

Gambling has been proven to impact mental health, and has been linked to conditions like depression, and anxiety disorders. People struggling with gambling addiction are at greater risk for suicide – one study found that gamblers are six times more likely to have suicidal thoughts or attempts. The stress of living with a gambling disorder often manifests in physical ailments as well, such as digestive issues and migraines.

If you or someone you love has a problem with gambling, seeking professional help from an addiction specialist is a necessity. Speaking with someone who understands the science of addiction and can help address and treat the root causes of dependency will lead to the best possible outcomes for recovery. . .


The Dawn Wellness Centre and Rehab Thailand offers residential treatment that specialises in behavioural addictions such as gambling. With a maximum intake of 25 clients at a time, our highly experienced professional team offers personalised attention and customised treatment plans for each and every client.

The fundamental objective of our programme is for clients to achieve and maintain long-term recovery by equipping each individual with a personalised set of coping tools to use when dealing with stress and triggers. The Dawn utilises a unique “Twin Pillars” approach for treatment, seamlessly blending Western psychotherapeutic techniques with proven Eastern wellness practices to holistically address the addiction, and allow the development of a full, healthy lifestyle.

Gambling Addiction Treatment On-site or Online with The Dawn

We understand that current COVID-19 related travel restrictions may make it difficult for you to access the benefits of a residential treatment programme at this time. At The Dawn, our therapists have years of experience providing online therapy to our clients post treatment in online aftercare groups as well as individual counselling.  

To support individuals in need of help but unable to travel, we have been offering a special Virtual Treatment Programme with the option of transitioning to in-person residential treatment when clients are ready. 

To best accommodate our clients, we structure our fees so that whatever you have already paid towards your online therapy goes towards your overall residential treatment fee. This allows you to continue your care with a trusted therapist in an environment totally removed from the triggers and stress of everyday life, and to focus completely on your recovery. 

If you’re looking for a way out of a gambling addiction, we can help you. Call us today To learn more about The Dawn USA Call – US/CANADA: +1 678 619 3975











My Guest Is Marilyn Davis Who Shares Her Home-bound Recovery During This Never Ending Covid Crisis.


Welcome recovery friends and visitors. Today I am sharing an informative guest post by a dear friend and recovery mentor of mine. Meet Marilyn Davis. She has maintained long-term recovery and has helped many in every conceivable way with addictions. She has worked in addiction and treatment and has helped her now grown children beat addiction. 

I wanted to share the most recent post from her amazing website, From Addict 2 Advocate https://fromaddict2advocate.com/my-home-bound-recovery-during-covid-19-purging-and-using-podcasts/ and a must-visit for those who live a recovery lifestyle. This woman knows everything there is to know about being happy and at peace while traveling the recovery road. She has also been writing her memoirs and will soon have a new book to release within the coming new year.

I will share more about all she does to help others have hope from addiction, but here is her post about what she’s been doing to keep her recovery intact during this continuing COVID CRISIS…

~Catherine


My Home-bound Recovery During COVID-19: Purging and Using Podcasts.


Iphone Apple Cellphone - Free photo on Pixabay

COVID-19 Unites Us, Too


“Boomer or millennial, we’re all covidians now.”― Bill Doman

Whether you’re home because of COVID-19, work restrictions, furloughs, school closings, or layoffs, don’t let your recovery suffer. Here are few ways to help ensure you don’t relapse, and a few ways to use that time at home while the world is temporarily closed.


Libraries to remain closed until further notice | Worthington Libraries


Recovery Just Got Harder


Recovery is hard; it’s learning a new way of life, coping, repairing fractured relationships, and depending on others to show us how to do all of those.

These factors are more challenging as we try to maintain our recovery with the uncertainty and isolation imposed on us by COVID-19.
Without the social support, structure, and accountability that in-person meetings provide, many people are struggling more with the stay-at-home-social-distance-wear-a-mask safety measures imposed on us for our protection.

“Use Your Time Wisely” My Mother Said

I’ve been home-bound since March 13th or 250 days now. That’s a very long time to go without an in-person meeting. But I dug in, took the time to do some serious ōsōji, the annual cleaning of one’s home in Japan. Of course, I took it to an entirely new level – purged 30 years’ worth of antique linens. 

When that didn’t get rid of enough stuff, I opted for the Swedish döstädning. “Dö” means “death,” and “städning” means “cleaning.” 

All those antiques, Nickie-nacks, as my daughter referred to them when she was five – she’s now in her 50’s, papers with scribbled ideas, feelings, or thoughts that seem disjointed, chaotic, or so outdated as to be completely useless, and looked at each tube, container, pan of make-up to check the expiration date. All donated, recycled, or sent to the dumb. 

Still no let up on COVID19. 

  • So I sold my townhouse, purged more, had the living estate sale, and waited for relief and an in-person meeting. 
  • I finished my memoir – it’s ready for publication when my computer guru comes next week.


    Then I moved...



“This too shall pass” isn’t Working

When we first experienced the sudden loss of in-person meetings, it wasn’t a big deal for some of us. Sure, we missed the fellowship, laughter, or helping someone. But we were sure it would pass. How often did we say, “This too shall pass,” or “Just don’t use today – tomorrow will be different.”

But it seems as if the anticipated tomorrow isn’t happening anytime soon.

Many old-timers, like myself, aren’t attending in-person meetings.

It’s not that you can’t get and remain in recovery without our input. Still, besides our ‘sage advice,’ we serve as a reminder that recovery is possible when you have a room full of people with double-digit recovery. When we’re not comfortable participating in these meetings, encouragement is missing from many places, which is sad for newcomers.

And I miss seeing families reunited, people changing, and the warmth and support of the fellowship. 

Are You Still Home-bound?

It’s still a scary time for some of us. 

  • Do we go out? 
  • How do we socially distance if we go to a meeting?
  • Do people wear masks?   
  • Are they restricting the number of people who can attend? 
  • How do I handle old friends wanting to hug? 
  • Can listening to a podcast help me? 

By the time I’ve obsessed on those questions, my heart rate is up, I’ve wasted 30 minutes thinking and getting no answers, and even if I chose to go to the meeting, I’d be late.  Sound familiar?

While You’re Home-bound

  1. Seek out an online meeting. 
  2. Connect with recovery-oriented people on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, or other social media. We all have our favorites and two of mine are RecoveryRocks  and Recovery By Stepping Up, both on FB.
  3. Write a guest post for From Addict 2 Advocate
  4. Cherish family members – email, FaceTime, or call them
  5. Facetime your recovery friends
  6. Read meditation books
  7. Read recovery literature
  8. Clean out your closet – think of it as a 7th Step – what do you keep and what do you want removed?

Isolation Fuels the Anxieties and Addiction 


My Home-bound Recovery During COVID-19: Purging and Using Podcasts

I know I’m not the only one who has negative thoughts. That’s the good news. 

The downside of being home alone is there’s no one to dispel these negative thoughts except me, and I sometimes forget to refute the chatter. 

Tell me I’m not alone in that? 

See, that’s a question I could throw out at a meeting, get multiple perspectives on the thoughts, and leave my meeting feeling better – plus the hugs always helped. 

Now? It’s harder to lessen the negativity in my head. And I have to confess certain things about being home for 250 days:

  • I’m  over tank tops, leggings, and relaxed outerwear. 
  • I’m getting less feedback from conversations with my cat, Jackson.
  • The data usage on my phone could exceed my unlimited plan – is that possible?
  • I’m writing reviews on food deliveries just for something to do. 
     

Can We Find a Solution? Are There Any Answers?


If you’re like me, the statistics, advice, and realities are all confusing. The drops, the spikes, the flattening, curving upwards – downwards – all conflicting. 

So what can you do to ensure that you get a meeting?

Check out some of these Facebook podcasts that help me stay safe but supported. 

Not a Facebook fan? Don’t worry; Google has us covered for online meetings. Here’s the link. 

Want to hear from various perspectives on recovery? Try YouTube:

No Relapse Allowed: A Self-Mutilation and Self Hurt Addiction Recovery ...  - Amelia Johnson - Google Books


Above All – Don’t Relapse


“This, too, shall pass – when?!”

It beats me, but I know that more than anything else, a relapse would destroy what I’ve worked to achieve in these 32 years of recovery.

Solution – hang in there, and when the world opens again, I’ll see you at a meeting.

Writing and recovery heal the heart.”
~Marilyn Davis  



As I’ve always said, old-timers are the only ones with sage advice. There is someone out there who is struggling with their addiction or their recovery who would benefit from your words.

Please consider a guest post. Here are the guidelines

* * *

About Marilyn L. Davis: Editor-in-Chief

Marilyn L. Davis From Addict 2 Advocate
My BFF Marilyn Davis

Marilyn L. Davis is the Editor-in-Chief of From Addict 2 Advocate.  In 1990, she opened North House, an award-winning women’s residential recovery home. In 2008, Brenau University, Georgia, created the Marilyn L. Davis Community Service-Learning Award. This is a yearly award given to advocates in mental health, wellness, and recovery. In 2010, she received the Liberty Bell Award for her work within the criminal justice system.

Before closing the house in 2011, she authored and developed  Therapeutic Integrated Educational Recovery Systems (TIERS). When North House closed, friends and colleagues encouraged her to write online to reach a larger audience.  Finding outlets online, she shared her 29 years in abstinence-based recovery.

She also realized that how she said something might not connect with all readers. This is one of the reasons that she has made an effort to collaborate with new and seasoned recovery writers when she started From Addict 2 Advocate.

As a Certified Addiction Recovery Empowerment Specialist, she conducts groups for men’s and women’s residential programs, as well as facilitating a recovery group for HIV positive people.

As the Assistant Editor at Two Drops of Ink, The Literary Home for Collaborative Writing, she understands that writing is a process and most writers want information on how to improve.  However, writing about writing can get tedious, so she often combines writing advice using stories and examples from her work with addicts and alcoholics. Improving writing is a process, like recovery.

Using recovery examples in her writing advice means that her readers learn the ways in which people change, improve their lives, and this creates another outlet for her to advocate for recovery while writing about writing.

Her two daughters are in recovery as well, with 21 and 15 years. She is working on her memoir: Finding North: A Woman’s Journey from Addict 2 Advocate.


Marilyn Has Won Several Awards For Her Work

Connect With Marilyn on From Addict 2 Advocate Facebook Page
Tweets by ‎@MDavisatTIERS

Submit a Guest Post Today to Fromaddict2advocate@yahoo.com with guest post in the subject line.

Don’t Relapse Now During This Pandemic and Unrest Happening Around Us. Recovery Guest Featured Article…

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I had just received my digital magazine from one of the most informative recovery reads I enjoy and learn so much from called The Fix. When I saw this headline, I said to myself this one needs to be shared out. So, here I am sharing it with all of my recovery posses.

I am sharing it since we seem to be in this pandemic of COVID-19 and I feel, for a long while and we who maintain recovery from any addiction besides gambling don’t “DO” isolation very well. We need to have human contact and be with others. We crave that comradery with other like-minded folks who are also maintaining recovery so we know we are not alone and feel supported. So let’s read what The Fix says about NOT Relapsing Now.  ~Catherine Lyon, Advocate

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Don’t Relapse Now

By John Teufel 05/27/20

Time has stopped, life has paused, why can’t sobriety pause too?

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Make Your Own DIY Crochet Mask Covers | 8News

 

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Reader, I will make a deal with you. I will talk to you like an adult and say some uncomfortable things. I won’t be your sponsor and I won’t throw the Big Book at your face. But in exchange, you need to promise me you’ll read this to the end. No skips, no tag outs, no skimmy skims. Okay? Okay, great.

I understand the urge to relapse right now.
I’m feeling it too.

A lot of us have severely diminished responsibilities – my work has nearly dried up. I hate the Zoom meetings, which feel like impersonal shadow plays where I have to stare at my new fat face. All our other distractions that can’t be done from the couch have been canceled.

My normie friends are mixing up quarantinis before the 5 o’clock news starts. Most importantly, we are all being treated to a daily blast of death, inequity, and press conferences where a poorly tanned moron tells us to shoot up with bleach. It is so much. It is a daily mental weight that is difficult to bear even on the best days.

“If you are saying to yourself, maybe I can’t hold out on this, maybe I am going to break, that is a sane response. It is, in some ways, a rational response. Time has stopped, life has paused, why can’t sobriety pause too? If you are saying to yourself, maybe I can’t hold out on this, maybe I am going to break, that is a sane response.

It is, in some ways, a rational response. Time has paused, life has paused, why can’t sobriety pause too? The other day I found myself telling a friend that I won’t be jobless, locked down, without the beach (my favorite distraction), and sober. In full Scarlett O’Hara mode, I declared, “Sorry, but I won’t do it!” It felt good to say, the way forbidden things sometimes do. Total, unapologetic narcissism has its pleasures.”

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How to stay safe if going to park or beach during Covid-19 pandemic

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I could probably get away with it, too. I could probably go on a few-days bender and maybe my boyfriend would figure it out (he is sharp but that is the diseased thinking!),  and no one else would. I could even keep my day count! Why not?!? This is the sort of self-dealing I’ve been doing. I am so good at it. I am the Clarence Darrow of fucking my own shit up.

But it is wrong. I know it’s wrong. If you are having similar thoughts, you probably know they are wrong too. Even now, with life halted and pain and injustice ascendant, there are reasons both practical and metaphysical that it is crucial for you and me to keep our sober time. Even if every word we ever heard at an AA meeting was false, even if the Big Book itself is a decades-long scam to sell us on religion.

Practically, you are going to regret it. You know you are! Sorry, but you do. You are going to be annoyed, at the very least, that you need to restart your day count, which yes, you eventually will be forced to do because you won’t be able to lie to your support network for that long. Whatever bender you have in mind is going to come to an end, in what will feel like the blink of an eye, and all you’ll have left is regret and likely, a terrible headache or worse. You also, of course, might take it too far and die.

If things get really bad, as they very well may, people are going to know what you did and that is going to suck for you. Your family and friends are already extremely stressed out right now (just like you!) – the last thing they need is to hear that you relapsed, in your tiny apartment in some faraway city, and no one can travel to you to make sure you get it together. Your mom is going to cry.

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For COVID-19 Patients, Breathing Easier Could Be as Simple as ...

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On that note, if you need hospital care because you overdose or can’t stop, great, you are taxing an already overtaxed healthcare system and exposing yourself to COVID-19 at the same time. From a million different standpoints, any decision to relapse right now is selfish, even if it feels like the only person being punished is you.

Okay, who cares, right? I hear that. When I was first trying to get sober and in a relapse cycle, other people’s problems were some theoretical concern that was a not-close second to my immediate ego gratification. I did not give a shit, and honestly, I didn’t care much if I died, either. What worked for me, though, was spite – not giving my enemies the pleasure of seeing me fall.

Spite could be helpful right now.

Picture Donald Trump, in all his 300 pounds of dense mass, standing over you as you take that first drink. “I was always right,” he says without laughing, as he never laughs, “You’re weak. Libs like you, weak, lazy.” Do you want Donald Trump to think he’s better than you? He doesn’t care! He even doesn’t wear a mask!

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Trump hits out at China and Democrats at latest rally | Financial ...

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Students Trump Arizona rally Phoenix Stock Photos (Exclusive ...

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Trump Border Visit, Phoenix Rally | Arizona Daily Independent(MASKS??? ZERO In Arizona)

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How about the maskless crowds at his rallies who are just begging states to let them kill themselves, and each other? Should these yahoos and sociopaths be allowed to feel morally superior to you? Or picture a little closer to home. Do you want your douchebag ex to hear that you fucked up again? No, you do not.

The time we’ve all spent cooped up indoors losing our gourds has been an achievement that can be measured in days and lives saved. We’ve been doing this for well over thirty days now. In New York and elsewhere, we’ve flattened the curve but not in many other states like Arizona.  Your sobriety is the same.

It’s not some fungible commodity that can be lent out and borrowed back at will – it has a character in itself composed in part of a temporal element. Your sobriety after you relapse is not the same as your sobriety before. When you give it up, you give up the effort, sacrifice, things you can never get back. That might not feel important now, but it will feel devastating later.

Look, I am not Mr. Lockdown. I eat loaves of bread as a snack. I stay up most nights until 5 AM and I sleep till 11. I bleached my hair. I play Nintendo Switch and try to get one or two productive hours into a day. My sheets smell like farts. All of this is fine! You do what it takes to make it to the next day. The people doing pilates every morning, learning a second language, making OnlyFans, whatever – they are fine, too.

And it’s even fine to hate them!

“One day at a time” is a relentless cliché in sobriety circles. But right now, it feels appropriate, as all of the stupid sayings eventually do. The world is a miserable place, maybe always, definitely right now. Don’t add to the misery by giving in to the demons you fought so hard to keep at bay.

Be strong, stay home, save lives, stay sober. Good luck.

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Alcohol addiction: “I walked out of rehab and into a pandemic” - Vox

I Am Proud To Fly Recovery Blogging With My Friends Here At WordPress and Thanks For The Blog Anniversary Wish! We Save Lives Together…

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7 Year Anniversary Achievement

Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!

You registered on WordPress.com 7 years ago.
Thanks for flying with us.
Keep up the good recovery blogging.

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What can I say, I love Blogging About RECOVERY From ADDICTION, Share Awareness, Hope, Shatter STIGMA, and not let others suffer IN SILENCE…

It is the purpose and passion of my life and was God-Given.  ✝💞

 

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And that is just the tip of the iceberg! Most of you know who are apart of my recovery community know my purpose is to help those who feel they are within addictions the least, the lost, and the hopeless. Well, not on my watch! Seven years is a long time to be blogging and also sharing one’s recovery journey.  I do so because if I can gain regain and turn my life around from this cunning disease and addiction to addicted GAMBLING? Then I know anyone can who may be afflicted by this insidious and devastating disease.

I have come a long way from those days of wasting so many hours and wasted money behind a slot machine or sitting at a poker table. Selfish about any and everything except when I could gamble again next! Not caring about my husband or even LIFE, just self-medicating and zoning out old pain and hurt from the trauma I endured as little girl.

Finally becoming “Sick and Tired” of feeling sick and tired.

Now? I’ve been maintaining recovery for 13+yrs and counting! WordPress has supported my recovery by the opportunity to share and reach people here in the WordPress Community and beyond. If I have helped one or many? I may never know, but I appreciate WordPress allowing me to do so freely and transparently.

Today I enjoy networking with other friends who are advocates so may try and help restore and guide families to healing, not enable, and learn how to support their loved one who may have a gambling problem. I am most comfortable doing so through my writing and blogging, as a contributing writer for publications, as a columnist for “Keys To Recovery” newspaper, and written within featured articles for other addiction and recovery publications, most recently featured in FEB 2020 issue of “ Recovery Today Magazine issue #63 sharing the WHY and the HOW I became caught into addicted gambling the first place!

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Recovery Today Mag is a 100% Free and a fantastic recovery resource for everyone! I was very honored to be invited to share my story and raise awareness about gambling addiction and what it takes to recover. 

SO HERE IS TO Another Year of Recovery Blogging on WordPress and the only hosting site I would trust to do so! I also have my Book and Literary Blog here on WordPress if you are a reading book CAT like me? Stop and give me a visit there too at “Cat Lyon’s Reading and Writing Den!”


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Havng Fun Rasng $$ 4 Big Jim Foundation!

Speaking Event 4 Big Jim’s Ride, Phoenix, AZ!

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{My E-book Is Now on Sale on Amazon Kindle for only $2.99 & Paperback $6.95

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I APPRECIATE All My Recovery Supporters, Friends, and Blog Recovery Warriors and New Visitors!

Thank You, from my heart to your’s … xoxo💞💞✝💝

~Author and Advocate, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

DEAR MR. PRESIDENT… Did You Forget There Is An Opioid EPIDEMIC Happening Before There Was A COVID-19 Pandemic? A Special Message From Advocate & Author of “American Fix,” Ryan Hampton.

I ADVOCATE and SUPPORT All Forms of Recovery From Any Addiction.

Addiction Does Not Discriminate…

 

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In these unknown and uncertain times, it seems while this COVID-19 Pandemic is still spreading throughout our country, there is still a “BATTLE of an EPIDEMIC” happening in this country.  It also seems our Government, our President, and Legislators have forgotten and are NOT LISTENING.

They have worked faster than I have ever seen in my lifetime getting funding for this pandemic, but where is our immediate assistance for the DRUG EPIDEMIC?  We have surely lost way more lives since this OPIOID CRISIS in AMERICA has begun and we are still losing precious lives every day over and above the virus pandemic…Especially when we read headlines like this!

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Officials worry large potential spikes in overdose deaths amid COVID-19 pandemic

Health officials worry extended isolation could exacerbate the problem. Must read by ABC NEWS.

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When will our President, Vice President, and all of the Government start taking addiction seriously?
Why can’t they rush through more funding for an EPIDEMIC like they are for this Virus PANDEMIC?

Is it a class war fair?

It is because they think all addicts just ‘Choose To Be Addicts and SICK?’

Like this crisis and epidemic is not IMPORTANT ENOUGH?

Isn’t any life saved not a LIFE?

Shouldn’t ALL SICK PEOPLE DESERVE HELP and HOPE?

I think it is safe to say during this pandemic, and with so much funding being sent out everywhere to stop the bleeding of our economy, businesses, the mortgage and financial sectors, and slipping into recession and a huge amount of the job market all going to hell, where do you think they will start cutting funding first? Yes, you guessed it, addiction treatment, and mental health services! I could go on and on but I’ll let my friend Ryan Hampton share his message I got this week from him.

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Those suffering from substance use disorders amid the COVID-19 pandemic, in Jacksonville, Florida, the fire and rescue department reported a 20 percent increase in overdose emergency calls in March. In Columbus, Ohio, the county coroner’s office saw a surge in overdose deaths, including 12 in a 24-hour period the first week of April. And in New York State, at least four counties have acknowledged an increase in reported overdoses, including Erie County, where officials saw at least 110 drug overdoses, including 36 deaths, reported since the beginning of March.

 

“I think we need to consider the role that social isolation coupled with non-stop reporting on the pandemic may have on the feelings of desperation and hopelessness among those struggling with substance abuse,” U.S. Attorney for the Western District of New York James Kennedy Jr. said in a statement. “Amidst the current crisis, we need to remember that substance abuse existed long before COVID-19, and it will likely remain long after we have wiped out the virus.”

(ABC NEWS Article)

 

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This message from Ryan Hampton is very important to read and share out through Social Media while tagging our President and all Legislators! 

They NEED TO HEAR OUR VOICES OF RECOVERY and ADVOCACY around this issue!
As Ryan’s book description shares:

“Nearly every American knows someone who has been affected by the opioid crisis. Addiction is a trans-partisan issue that impacts individuals from every walk of life. Millions of Americans, tired of watching their loved ones die while politicians ignore this issue.
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Where is the solution?
Where is the hope?
Where’s the outrage?”
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~In “American Fix” an outline of the challenges that the recovery movement currently faces, and offers a concrete, comprehensive plan of action towards making America’s addiction crisis a thing of the past.”

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Image may contain: 4 people, including Ryan Hampton, people smiling{Hardest Activist and Advocate I Know!}

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Published by Medium on May 10, 2020. Original article can be found here.

 

By: Ryan Hampton. The Author of American Fix

If we look up from what’s right in front of us — a global pandemic — we’ll remember that we’ve been battling a public health crisis for more than a decade. The opioid epidemic alone has stolen more than 450,000 lives from us since 1999, but the total number of deaths related to substance use is around 1.75 million for that same period.

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Before this virus swept through the U.S., we were starting to see real change in the opioid crisis — both in the health systems and the decline of drug overdose deaths. Overdose death rates decreased by 4.1% from 2017 to 2018 in the U.S. This is not to deemphasize the pandemic’s impact on our country or the critical response needed, but to remind America that the opioid epidemic did not go away when COVID-19 reared its head. We can’t forget about people living with addiction.

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Now we’re simultaneously facing two crises, putting patients with opioid use disorder (OUD) at a significantly higher risk for overdose, death, and relapse. When there is so much uncertainty for those with addiction about how to continue receiving care during this time, it’s essential that addiction treatment programs continue to receive federal and state support so that we don’t lose our foothold on combating the opioid crisis.

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Nationally we’re seeing increased unemployment and poverty, mandatory changes to daily routines, and increased anxiety and stress which are only magnified for people managing addiction. These added stressors can disrupt a person’s recovery journey by overwhelming their coping mechanisms. Addiction is a disease of isolation, so the necessary physical distancing protocols that yank people out of their routines and their communities and trap them alone with anxiety (and even boredom) is dangerous to recovery.

 

Not only that, but the pandemic is shifting how people can receive treatment. Many support groups and counseling sessions are being provided virtually. But how about people who use medication-assisted treatment? A significant portion of people in treatment pays out of pocket for their care. With a rising number of Americans losing their jobs due to the pandemic, including people in recovery, their ability to afford life-saving care is in danger.
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The addiction treatment organizations are struggling too. They are spending more money to put protocols in place in response to COVID-19 while dealing with employee absences and patients forgoing treatment. Yes, federal and state regulators have loosened requirements for care at outpatient opioid treatment programs (OTPs), which is important. But if the OTPs don’t have the funding needed to continue operating in this new environment, these regulation modifications are irrelevant. Without ongoing treatment, those in addiction recovery are at risk of relapse and overdose.

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Before COVID-19 hit, our nation was at a turning point in the fight against the opioid epidemic. The coronavirus pandemic not only threatens thousands of lives, but it also threatens to completely derail the progress we’ve made in digging this country out of one of the worst human-made epidemics in history. If people living with addiction can’t get the care they need, they too will die.
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In a time when a pandemic is causing so much uncertainty, people living with OUD need stability. Addiction advocacy groups and others in the industry have issued a formal request to the federal government asking for $38.5 billion in emergency supplemental funding for direct payments to behavioral health organizations, which will help ensure they remain open and operating during the COVID-19 crisis.

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While this sounds like a lot, let me put this request into perspective: the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that the total “economic burden” of opioid misuse alone in the U.S. is $78.5 billion a year. We only need a small fraction of that cost to save lives.
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The bottom line is this: we need to make sure organizations that help people in recovery — opioid treatment programs, community behavioral health centers, peer support organizations, and others — get the resources they need to continue providing addiction and mental health care.

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Ryan Hampton is the organizing director at the Recovery Advocacy Project, author of “American Fix: Inside the Opioid Addiction Crisis — and How to End It” and national addiction recovery activist.

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Advice as Maintaining Recovery Has Become Stressful, Online, and Gone Virtual. In Memoriam of Author and Writer Ms. Marilyn Fowler…

Welcome Recovery Friends, Warriors, and Visitors,

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Stress blog 5

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I will start by announcing my mentor and amazing friend and author Marilyn Fowler I found out has passed. Marilyn was a beautiful soul and caring. She had worked for many years as a licensed therapist in one of the Jacksonville, FL prisons and always enjoyed blogging all her advice and wisdom here on WordPress. So I will lead with a helpful blog post she had written all about how to eliminate stress even in uncertain times like these.

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I am sorry that I have not been recovery blogging as often as I should these days.  So strange that right during the month March as I celebrated and blogging to Raise Awareness of Problem Gambling all that month and then, BAM!!  We began seeing the Coronavirus spreading all over the country, and before you know it, people are getting laid off from their jobs and then? The government places an order for EVERYONE to STAY HOME and SAVE LIVES!

Now, this seems odd to me as we also have a drug epidemic happening in this country as well, and many, many DEATHS it and from all addictions.  BUT? I guess it is not as urgent or important enough since people can’t get it or catch a DRUG ADDICTION or GIVE IT TO OTHERS…

Kind of makes you scratch your and wonder where are our government and the society we live in today and where their priorities are set?

Well, that is a question and topic for another post for another day. I wanted to share some recovery inspiration since we are all sailing in the same BOAT of “STAY AT HOME” and you might be looking for something different to read. Since the landscape of recovery and how we maintain it has become so different and some have become more stressful since recovery now has gone online and virtual for just about all of us as with treatment, therapy, AA, GA, NA group meetings, and just about everyone is doing recovery virtually!

Even Rick Warren’s “Celebrate Recovery” has been doing theirs on Facebook through many FB LIVE Videos By now we are all sick of feeling stressed out solving problems, one after another due to this pandemic and being sheltered in place for weeks and I know what to do with stress, how to manage it, or even eliminate it. Here is how by Ms. Marilyn Fowler may she rest in peace…

>>>>>
Marilyn Fowler

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Staying Sane In Stressful Situations.

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I’ve heard that problems come in threes, and I recently had my three. First I was ready to copy an important paper, but my printer was out of ink. Okay. Get more ink. But I forgot how to insert a new ink cartridge. So I got out the manual, studied, and did it right. That wasn’t so hard after all.

Then feeling smug about my first ordeal, the second one appeared. My land phone had been giving me less and less time to talk before it beeped and then cut me off. Finally, it just died. I know about people, but I’m a dummy with mechanical stuff, so I got out the manual. Manuals are so smart. They know everything. Well, I learned that phones need new batteries. Duh. So I got a new battery and solved that problem.

Then my third challenge came when my A/C wasn’t putting out cold air. Now that was really out of my league, and I couldn’t remember if I ever had a manual to solve that one. I figured a repair person wouldn’t need a manual, but they can be expensive. However, sweat running down my back convinced me there was no other way. So I called a brilliant repair person, then sat under the cool air reassuring myself that it was worth every penny.

By now I was sick of feeling stressed out solving problems, one after another. I know what to do with stress, how to manage it, or even eliminate it, but that’s hard to do when you’re in the midst of a crisis. I realize those weren’t big crises, but don’t they seem like giants when you’re confronted with them, especially when you’re one manual short? I envy people who can keep their sanity even when vultures are descending to eat their young. We could take a lesson from them. The people, not the vultures.

So now I’m retrieving my little Mental Stress Manual to remind me to pay attention the next time stress attacks me. I’ve been through some biggies in my life. Handled some well, some not so well. And if you ignore stress or don’t know it’s there, it can really do a number on you. You just gotta be prepared.

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So here’s how my little Mental Stress Manual says to handle stress in any situation. You have to catch the stress before it gets full-blown because full-blown is too late. Right before you feel the stress, you’ll feel a very subtle knot in your stomach. Sometimes a knot in your belly is from something you ate, but with stress, it can come from something you’re thinking about. On the outside, it can come from another person and/or situation. And it depends upon how you’re responding.

Do you feel capable to handle whatever’s happening? Or are you caught up in pangs of concern over the happening? If it’s the latter, and you feel that knot, you better get busy with your stress obliteration technique. It’s a monster if you let it get out of hand. And it’s a lot more difficult to solve a problem when you’re stressed out. You can begin with a few deep breaths to get you on the right track.

“One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm.” ~Catherine Pulsifer

 

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1. Identify the beginning of stress (the knot) and talk to it.
“Hello. I know you well, and I want you to know that I’m not at all afraid of you. I decree that no matter what you do, you have no power over me. You’re no more than a fly on a horse’s rump. And I’m the horse. I have the power to handle any situation in a calm, peaceful way, which I intend to do. So you might as well leave now.”

2. Whether the situation is internal or external, picture an image of something that represents peace to you. ie A dove, a white aura, angels, balloons floating in the air, a beautiful sunrise, whatever has meaning for you. And associate with that peaceful feeling as the stress loses its power, or better yet, doesn’t even materialize.

3. Express gratitude. No matter what the result, express gratitude. 
The more you do this, the more effective it becomes. And if you forget, like I did, you can even create your own Mental Stress Manual and start over. Stress can be a stubborn critter, but you can be stubborn-er, and turn it off. And you become stronger with each experience. “
I wish you peaceful encounters in your life.”

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Now here are some things that can help you maintain recovery since most have gone online and virtual!

Some have been able to adapt quickly by moving online for support and treatment. But for those who lack internet access or have trouble using technology, isolation poses additional challenges. 

As the spread of coronavirus pulls people physically apart, making connections becomes harder. Meanwhile, with anxiety over the pandemic growing. For people like me in the mental health and addiction communities are wrestling with ways to stay connected without spreading the virus. The isolating for me has had me triggered a bit, and even after maintaining recovery for over 13+yrs. 

So, I am doing Gamblers Anonymous meetings at least twice a week online. There are several places to attend groups or meetings for AA, GA, and NA meetings. Even the popular faith-based “Celebrate Recovery” I enjoyed is now doing more group sessions online by Facebook Live, Zoom, and other online services. Just visit AA, GA, NA websites as all have some form of online meetings and connecting with others available. Visit each site for details and schedule. 

GA- https://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/

AA- https://www.aa.org/   NA- https://www.na.org/

‘Celebrate Recovery’- https://www.celebraterecovery.com/crcr/zoom

You may also visit many Recovery Blogs and websites to read articles and posts like my Bet Free Recovery Now. Check out my resources page. https://betfreerecoverynow.wordpress.com/ 

Another way to help yourself while being isolated and “stay At Home” is to begin journaling. Especially now with how we had our recovery lives turned upside down in an instant and looking for new ways to stay connected. Making phone support calls to check on friends also maintaining recovery is another way to stay in contact and of course, with staying in contact with your sponsor or sponsees. Check out the many recovery groups as well on Facebook and LinkedIn. 

Regardless of how this pandemic plays out, we need to keep our recovery path moving forward. And yes, life is short when we look around and see where we are today compared to just a month or so ago. My personal feeling is our ‘Higher Power’ has given a RESET into what is most important in your life. Addiction is not one of them. It also tells me that there is a real ‘Higher Power’ or in my case, a real God. I will close by saying be safe, help save lives by staying home, and rework your recovery to shift with these changing times and challenges because?
“You Are Worth It!!”   ~Advocate, Catherine Lyon

 

 

BREAKING THE CYCLES With Lisa Frederiksen. An Important Resource and a Must Visit Recovery Website…

BREAKING THE CYCLES With Lisa Frederiksen. An Important Resource and a Must Visit Recovery Website…

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I was invited a few years back to be interviewed by my friend Lisa Frederiksen for her fantastic informational recovery website.  I thought I would share some of my interview she did, as she was kind enough to do so and to have a new platform to raise awareness about how I learned to “break the cycle” of my gambling addiction and alcohol abuse as I began the road to long-term recovery.

I was honored and jumped on the chance, (lol) as she has helped many from addiction as a powerful advocate, speaker, and in writing as a popular author of several addiction/recovery books, like her newest title, “10th Anniversary Edition If You Loved Me, You’d Stop!: What You Really Need to Know When Your Loved One Drinks Too Much (1) available on Amazon online.

First, here is more about Lisa and our interview I so appreciated her doing about me and please visit her website OFTEN at BREAKING THE CYCLES …

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LISA’S NEW BOOK IS a MUST READ:

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Available at local bookstores, libraries, and online retailers. Here are a few:
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Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Target
Wordery
Walmart
Amazon U.K. 

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ABOUT LISA FREDERIKSEN:

Lisa Frederiksen founded Breaking The Cycles.com to provide education, prevention, and intervention services on a range of addiction*-related topics anchored in 21st-century brain and scientific research.

This research was guided by her 40+ years of personal experience with secondhand drinking, a concept she first introduced in 2009. Working to overcome its impact, she’s spent the last 16 years studying and simplifying this research on topics related to her experiences. These topics include alcoholism, drug addiction, alcohol, and other drug use disorders, mental illness, co-occurring disorders, the family member’s experience, toxic stress, adverse childhood experiences, codependency, brain development, and childhood trauma.

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BreakingTheCycles.com with Lisa Frederiksen - sharing the explosion in brain research to change the conversations on a host of topics.Lisa’s goal in founding BreakingTheCycles.com in 2008 was to change, and in some cases simply start, the conversations on these topics so that together we can end the stigma, misinformation, and shame that keep over 120 million Americans stuck fighting something they truly don’t understand. This 120 million represents those struggling with their misuse of alcohol or other drugs and the people – typically family members and friends – who love them and try desperately to help them stop.

She does this through presentations, workshops, consulting, blogging and media outreach.  Lisa holds a BA in Economics, the University of California at Davis and with over 39+years of experience? You’ll need to visit her page as there is TOO MUCH TO LIST! (Lol.)  Here: “Changing The Conversation”…

**The term “addiction” may be regarded as equivalent to a severe substance use disorder as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5, 2013).**

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Recovery from Gambling Addiction. Interview With Catherine Townsend-Lyon

“Now that gambling addiction is currently the #1 addiction with the highest suicide rate than any other and over 16 million problem gamblers in just the US alone, I want to share some of my story and devastation in my life due to this cunning addiction,” says Catherine Townsend-Lyon, today’s guest author.

Best-selling Kodel Empire Publishing Author of the book, Addicted To Dimes: Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat, Catherine is a freelance recovery writer, a former columnist for “In Recovery Magazine’s ‘The Author’s Café’.” She also writes for several addiction/recovery publications, including: “Keys to Recovery” and will be featured in next month’s issue of “Recovery Today Magazine.” Catherine was chosen as a contributor to a major media article published by Time.com and Nautilus.us magazines titled; “Addicted to Anticipation: What goes wrong in the brain chemistry of a gambling addict.”

Catherine is an Expert Recovery blogger of Gambling Addiction Recovery for Addictionland.com and is the founder and author of her blog here at “Bet Free Recovery Now”  covering gambling addiction and recovery.

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Recovery from Gambling Addiction by Catherine Townsend-Lyon

Catherine Townsend-Lyon shares her story of recovery from gambling addiction.My name is Catherine, and I am a recovering compulsive addicted gambler. Jan 29th, 2020 will be my 13th-year mark in recovery, but will never forget where I have come from with gambling addiction. I came from the depths of hell, hopelessness, and despair. Gambling addiction took just about everything from me like family, friends, reputation, jobs, my home, car, almost my marriage and cost me way more than money; it almost cost me my life twice from suicide.

At the same time, I was also suffering from undiagnosed mental & emotional health issues and disorders I had no idea about until 2002. My first failed suicide attempt. I woke up in the hospital with bandages wrapped around both my wrists and could hear two people talking about knives all over my living room as I blacked out again. They were the two EMTs and a police officer who brought me to the hospital as I found out a few weeks later. All I remember was everything going black in nothingness. Now I know it was a complete mind and body break down. A mental/emotional blackout. From there I went to an addiction/mental crisis center. Was on suicide watch the first few days.

addictedtodimesShortly after, a psychiatrist started working with me. And of course, here I am, I was a compulsive gambler and being dually-diagnosed with mental health disorders.  So, I started working with an addictions counselor as well as a psychiatrist. I had attempted to stop gambling on my own but felt I could control it on my own. I failed with many relapses and binges due to the “diseased thinking” while in outpatient treatment. I guess I had not reached my bottom yet. Even after a 28 day stay in a crisis center and a suicide attempt!

What was wrong with me?

It’s called ADDICTION. It is a sickness that is very hard to overcome. But possible. And this wasn’t my last time I would work this circuit. Not due to actively gambling, due to the financial pressures from this disease, I had another suicide attempt in 2006 as it seemed I had not done enough work in all areas of recovery, including my financial inventory. First lesson? A well-balanced recovery plan.

But in 2006 I also just wanted to be normal, live life in recovery without having to take medications for mental/emotional issues. So, I stopped taking them thinking it was just the gambling that was causing my mental illness problems of PTSD, manic depression, mania, anxiety, and bipolar insomnia cycles. So, within two weeks of no meds? I was back to severe depression and suicidal. What was my answer?

I took all my meds at once. I had gotten to that dark, black hole of hopelessness again. Back in the hospital again, another 20-day crisis center and 4 days of suicide watch. When released this time, I had learned the hard way that I need to take my meds to maintain my mental/emotional health and well-being as they call this being “dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis.”

Recovery with even negative experiences, sprinkled with some “faith” can show us many life lessons in recovery. If we are not learning them, we won’t see our growth. Even when you are not participating in your preference of addiction, we can still have problems arise and life challenges in recovery, so being prepared is vital.

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NOW, The Rest of My Story Can Be Read on Lisa’s Amazing Website At “Changing The Conversation”…

And, again, all of her books are very well written and so helpful for anyone who is suffering in silence from addictions. Please, give her a visit if you are a person maintaining recovery and there are exceptional information and advice even for family members as well.

HAPPY Recovery Valentine’s Day Weekend …Be Careful, It Can Be a Trigger as This Guest Article Courtesy of ‘The Fix’ Mag Tells Us …

HAPPY Recovery Valentine’s Day Weekend …Be Careful, It Can Be a Trigger as This Guest Article Courtesy of ‘The Fix’ Mag Tells Us …

 

5 Tips for Surviving Valentine’s Day in Recovery 💞💖

By The Fix staff 02/14/20

“From heart-shaped cookies at the local coffee shop, romantic music in the grocery store or dinner specials for two advertised on the bus, it is impossible to avoid Valentine’s Day. It can be a reminder of the support loved ones provide or challenge of maintaining relationships while within RECOVERY”…

 

Valentine’s Day can be sweet, but it can also be triggering. Here’s how to cope.

 

Love is in the air. Valentine’s Day is an excuse to eat chocolate, buy flowers and celebrate your love, but it can also be an emotionally taxing and triggering holiday, especially for people who are in early recovery or treatment.

Whether you are still working to repair a relationship damaged by addiction, loving someone who is struggling with substance misuse, or taking time to focus on yourself, Valentine’s Day can highlight everything that’s not ideal in your love life.

This year, don’t let Valentine’s Day bring you down. Instead, focus on these things that everyone in recovery or loving someone in recovery should remember this Valentine’s Day.

1. It’s Okay to Opt-Out

Establishing a new life in recovery is all about choosing what works for you, and stepping away from anything that doesn’t. If Valentine’s Day stresses you out, skip it. Avoiding advertising can be tricky, but give yourself permission to not engage with the day or the social pressure that it entails. Just like you can choose not to engages with people or places that you find triggering, you can choose not to participate in traditions that no longer serve you. If you were sober at the end of last year you’re probably familiar with establishing new holiday traditions. Bring that to Valentine’s Day, too.

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2. Early Recovery Is the Time to Focus on Yourself 

If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, you might feel unloved or unchosen. Instead of leaning into that feeling, challenge the internal narrative that is making you feel that way. Celebrate the fact that you are choosing to focus on yourself right now. There’s a reason why 12-step traditions advocate for staying single during the first year of sobriety. Without the distraction of romantic love, you can do the work that will improve your relationship with yourself and make you a great partner in the future. Right now, you’re building the foundation that will make you lucky in love in the future.

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3. Love Is Love Is Love

Valentine’s Day tends to focus on romantic love, but you can expand the celebration to encompass all the love in your life. Consider this: you love yourself enough to go through the hard work of getting sober, clean and bet free. Your recovery community loves you enough to support you through the ups and downs, and share what they’ve learned through their own journeys with you. Your friends and family (chosen or biological) love you enough to believe that this time, you’re going to stay sober for the long term.

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4. Self-Care Is a Great Way to Celebrate

Restaurants will be packed on Valentine’s Day, so why not skip out on the traditional celebrations to indulge in some self-care? Start by doing the self-care that is taxing, but also important: go to a meeting, book a therapy appointment or talk to your sponsor about the challenges that Valentine’s Day holds for you. Then, move on to self-care that is more fun: get a massage, walk on the beach or bake something delicious, just for you.

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5. You’re Not Alone 

There are thousands of people celebrating Valentine’s Day sober, with or without romantic partners. If you’re feeling lonely this Valentine’s Day, meet up with some other people who are in a similar situation. Sober meetups spring up every Valentine’s Day, bringing people together around good food and a celebration of recovery. Check out what sober Valentine’s Day activities are happening in your area. If you can’t find any, make you’re own by organizing a trip to a museum, bowling alley or favorite hiking destination. 

Celebrating Valentine’s Day sober, clean and Bet Free can be challenging, but reframing the holiday and establishing new, healthy traditions will mean that next year, celebrating Valentine’s Day sober will be easier.

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A Special Guest Recovery Writer and Soon To Be New Author. Meet My Amazing Friend Deb Morgan …

A Special Guest Recovery Writer and Soon To Be New Author. Meet My Amazing Friend Deb Morgan …

“We all have a recovery story to tell ~ at least one within us to share”

When we come to a point in recovery that we are ready to advocate and begin to share it, it can be a powerful tool to help those just beginning their recovery journey. That is why and what my dear friend Deb Morgan is about to do. And, no, she’s the Deb Morgan from DEXTER …LOL.

She is a part of an amazing project and book that will be released early spring with some other amazing authors. She lives in Oregon where I lived for many years and I am so jealous as Deb knows Oregon is where my heart will always be! I surely won’t spoil any in-depth info of her book she’ll be in and finishing touches are still being done.

I thought I’d give you a preview in sharing her most recent blog post to give my friends here who visit a little of what’s to come from by Deb.  She did, however, share some early reading feedback that the book just might be the next “Chicken Soup For The Soul” a self-help book series.

The book project is being arranged by a guy who I am sure when you learn who? Everyone will be very familiar with who he is. The first book and subsequent titles in the series consist of inspirational true stories about ordinary people’s lives, overcoming, and much more. I am excited for Deb and can’t wait to read her book this spring!

Enjoy this post by Deb and make sure you visit her blog titled ‘Deb-Spot-Telling My Truth One Word At A Time’

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ADDICTION: The Trigger   By 12/12/2019 / Addiction

I don’t know any addict that woke up one morning and said: “I think I will become an addict today.” It just doesn’t happen that way. It is a slow progressive process, that hides. Some don’t ever get addicted or try a drug that makes them feel good, or normal.

Over ninety percent of the addicts have had a multitude of trauma in their lives. Trauma that was so deeply troubling that is broke part of their soul. Or it could be a mental condition and they self-medicated to feel normal. I picked Percocet. After living through trauma from the day I was born, I tried other drugs before settling on pills. Then Percocet became my drug of choice. This drug would eventually attack and I would come close to complete destruction of myself, my family, my life!

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The Trigger?

So what is a “Trigger”? It’s the final thing causing a person to go into full addiction. I am asked why people go to cocaine or heroin, crack, etc.? It tells your brain what you have to put into your body to stave off withdrawal. You see, just because someone starts with alcohol that does not mean it will be their final drug of choice.
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Our brain doesn’t care our body needs a drug, causing steady normality. Drug and Alcoholism are the same diseases just in different wrapping paper. Crack and methamphetamine are the poor man’s drugs. Cocaine is for the rich and people who can afford it. Heroin is a replacement for opiates, cheaper on the street and hard to get from doctors.

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Addiction begins with the hope that something “out there” can instantly fill up the emptiness inside. ~ Jean Kilborne~

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So What Happens Next?

In closing the human mind has an extremely strong power of denial and deception. People who are in the throws of drug addiction cannot see it and their brain won’t accept it. Addiction starts out innocent enough. I drank with my friends at school.

I hated the taste of hard liquor I thought I would never drink it again. So did I keep drinking it? Of course, at the time it was fun, I was young and rebelling against the pain in my life. It would come to be my nemesis in a different form and face.

One I would fight for my life with.

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Image may contain: 3 people, including Deb Morgan, people smiling

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WHO Is Deb Morgan?


I started writing and talking openly about my journey about 5 years ago. Writing my story and getting it out in the world as far as I could is my goal.

I started out thinking someday I would get a book written and had no idea how to begin to do it. So I started writing, then a website, then an opportunity for a radio show, then another and I just kept refusing to give up. I was asked to be on a show a few months ago in 2019, from there life would change to the point where I don’t even know which way it is going.

I have had 15 radio spots, 2 podcasts, and was invited to be in a book titled Simply amazing women coming mothers day 2020. I will then publish my book “TRAPPED” in 2020. ” There will be another book on Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain in 2021. Then there are a couple more on the chart that is coming.  A dream isn’t a dream anymore when we do the work, it can become a reality. “ I am living proof of that.

When we want something bad enough that will be helpful for someone else, that is the hope that it does exactly that, help and give hope. Deb resides outside Eugene, Oregon with her family.

 

Family May Not Understand About Addiction nor Support You As You Change Maintaining Recovery. “The 2nd Chance Syndrome”…Some Don’t Get It!

Family May Not Understand About Addiction nor Support You As You Change Maintaining Recovery. “The 2nd Chance Syndrome”…Some Don’t Get It!

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“When You Start Seeing Your Worth, You’ll Find it Harder to Stay Around People Who Don’t, even if it’s your own FAMILY.”

The Bible teaches me to “Obey Thy Father and Mother” … 

That can be somewhat hard to do when you had been put down, left to feel your worth nothing for many years beginning as a little girl. No excuses, not a victim, just clear-sightedness of how I FELT and had perceived these actions each time they happened to me by family members growing up.

To learn dark secrets coming into adulthood that make you look at your parents much differently and it is an uncomfortable feeling. I am also sharing my feelings as it seems, even after almost fifteen years of estrangement from my dysfunctional side of the family, they keep leaving “ugly” comments on my book as reviews and anywhere else they think they can hurt me. I’m good today so I just ignore it.

See, my book ‘Addicted to Dimes: Confessions of a Liar and a Cheat’  published in 2013, my family was upset due to the fact I wrote and disclosed some dark secrets I came across while doing my research and looking in public records and so on and they don’t have a grip on reality or any link to an understanding about addiction and recovery either.  My memoir is NOT ABOUT THEM.

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It was written to give insights about how my past issues and trauma growing up can had such a negative impact in my life growing into adulthood which all that added fuel to my addiction. When using addiction to try and cope, escape, or numb old hurt and pain we all may have gone through in life, many times it can or may have many like me turn to any addiction in the first place. By sharing my story, I hope to help others. It is not HOW TO RECOVER, it is the WHY I turned to gambling and became ADDICTED.

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But Let Me Start At The Beginning  . . .

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When I was 7-years-old and again at 13 years old, I had been sexually abused by my brother and an adult friend of my parents, the 17-year-old son of those friends of my parents who lived up the street from us.  He was a year younger than my brother. I still have trouble today describing in detail what had been done to me, but each time it happened, I’d get sick to my stomach and a little piece of my innocence stripped away leaving me feeling ashamed, dirty, and confused.

Even as I’d would say, NO, it would leave me feeling guilty and worthless as it was MY FAULT.  I kept thinking and tell my little self I must be bad or doing something wrong that this continues to happen to me. Feeling baffled and confused and not understanding the nature of “my sexual misconduct and being molested.”

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In turn, as I began to grow up and become an adult woman, those experiences began to seep into my thinking, become distorted in many areas of my life as you can imagine. The relationships I would sabotage not only with men, all because I felt NOT worthy of them. Becoming promiscuous at an earlier age as a woman and thinking that’s all men want is sex.
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I walked away from several serious relationships with a few men who treated me like a princess, then, again, not feeling I deserved or worth the special attention, I’d walk away. I was not worthy of being loved because I was tainted somehow. Besides, my family treated like I was not worth it, so should I accept anyone else to?

My parents always said as I was growing up that “I was a liar or a whore, a pot smoker or pill popper just because my dad would see me with my girlfriends out front of my Middle School or High School. Judging those girls by what they did or just because of the way they dressed or may have been smoking? And I never did any of those things except in high school smoked a cig or two back then like any normal teen did.

See, my father worked for the school district as a painter after he retired from 22-yrs of service in the air force. He wouldn’t tell me if he would be working/painting at MY school. All my family, as I got older, had still treated me poor at times as if I wasn’t at all important or part of the family. For example, and I know it seems dumb, we’d all be going out to dinner together and most of us were married by then. We’d all meet at my parents and ride together.

If I was even just a few minutes late, they would all just leave without me and I’d have to drive myself. Sounds like no big deal, but when it happens ALL the time? When you are already dealing with hidden trauma and suffering in silence, it begins to make you feel less and less cared for.

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I will admit looking back, I was very hypersensitive when my family did this because of what I went through as a little girl. None of them knew what happened to me as a child until I finally reached out for help the first time at age 31 and even then when I disclosed it all to my parents, my mom didn’t believe me! It was like being slapped in the face and felt like being abused all over again.

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I just could not stuff all those painful memories away any longer. Also looking back and connecting the dots through years of therapy, treatment counseling and after finally being properly diagnosed in 2002 with mental health disorders after my first suicide attempt and not the last. Knowing and feeling I had mental health problems since childhood like OCD, ADHD. I had many of the symptoms through childhood I remember like, daydreaming, forgetting things, fidgeting, talking too much, inattention, impulsivity, unnecessary risk-taking, and having trouble getting along with others.
I had all of these. Then in my early to late teen years with depression and isolating in my room for hours.

Of course, my parents or other parents didn’t know then what they know today about mental and emotional illness and disorders. And, I had an aunt on my mom’s side that passed away from a prescription drug overdose and she was on many mental health drugs as I learned later as an adult. So I always felt my mental health challenges came from my mom’s side of the family. Even my mom was put on antidepressants about the last 5 or 6 years of her life.

The other side of this is when my parents would discipline us kids and in a way that was unconventional. I remember the times that my mom went over the top.  Like one time, my brother took something or got caught stealing something for my sister. How my mom taught him not to ever do it again, she made him and my sister put out their hands and she pricked the top of their hands with a needle until they were bleeding and MADE ME WATCH so we all learned the lesson. It was sicking to watch!

There we many things like this through the years and these traumatizing memories lingered in my mind. When we all became adults, it seemed abuse of alcohol was the common factor at many family gatherings like camping trips, birthdays or the 4th of July BBQ and even just a baseball game! My father, brother, and older sister drank like fishes as we got older.

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And as they got drunk, something bad would always happen to ruin whatever family function or outing was going on when they were all drunk. It even happened after we all got together after my mother’s funeral at the memorial at my brother’s home in 2003. It caused my brother’s divorce, my oldest sister racked up 3 DUI’S in one year and more.

THAT is another blog post share for another day!

Through beginning and maintaining recovery, I shared all of this and my therapist and I agreed that my family was toxic and I needed to step away and not get involved even though I lived 980 miles away. I have tried to make amends where I could with my side of the family to no avail. I did, however, with my mom before she passed in August of 2003.
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Again, I lived about 980 miles away in Oregon when I was in the worst of my addiction. So no one from my family was impacted. But as I had always been dubbed “The Blacksheep” of the family early on, it seemed to make it OK for them to treat me like shit through the years. Even when they came to visit. I was and always felt very disconnected from my father. I still do and don’t today know why.

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After a while, you come to accept it and begin to ignore those times. As I got older, I began to set boundaries to avoid all the family drama and hurt except for when they would come up to visit us in Oregon. I just ignored the negative comments and stopped engaging with my mother that always turned into arguments when she’d make snide remarks that got worse the healthier I became. SHE did not like boundaries …I spent too many years starving for their validation and wasn’t going to do it any longer as I learned and accepted that they didn’t know how to give unconditional love.  These are the many things I began to learn while in treatment and beginning my road and path of recovery.

Learning the tools and skills to keep me safe when you deal with family who do not understand the concept of recovery or mental health. And through the years don’t care to either. If it is not in front of them, they don’t have to acknowledge or care about it is how my own father, sisters, and even my brother have treated me …We all have been estranged since my mother was laid to rest in 2003.  Through my almost 13-yrs maintaining recovery, I have processed this, forgive them and live my life for me and my husband. I do keep in touch with my nephews and that is good enough for me.

See, we don’t get to pick and choose who our family is. But I can choose not to continue to be treated poorly, seek their approval, or be abused by them any longer. I don’t have to continue and use poor behaviors like my mother used for years and most everyone let her even after we became adults and know better. Sadly, I needed to distance myself in order to keep my own sanity and recovery intact later in my life.

It is coming up on 15-years since I last talked to my father who just stopped calling me and still to this day I have no clue why …And almost the same with my older and younger sisters. My brother, I, and my husband spoke a few times and my brother did apologize to me for what he had done to me. He told me it happened to him as a little boy by our uncle Joe years ago when we still lived in New Jersey and before moving to So. CA., as kids.

One of my therapists had told me that when men molest 87% of the time they have been molested themselves. For me, I was just relieved my husband heard him admit what he did to me, but my brother wouldn’t to my parents. So my parents kept thinking I made it all up. What actually gives me comfort? Is knowing my husband, I, GOD and now my mom in heaven knows the truth. I know I am rambling but this has been laying on my heart the last few days. I know many of us maintaining long-term recovery have had to deal with learning the many underlying issues of why we had turned to addiction in the first place.

Some of what I share are many of the underlying issues and roots I had to overcome and let go. Instead of running or hiding within my gambling addiction, I did so because I was trying to “escape, numb, or cope” with all these ugly feelings and pain. Not being raised to know that it is OK to reach out for help when you are feeling mentally and emotionally weak and being tormented by old haunting memories you can’t run or stuff away any longer.

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It is also difficult to start becoming stronger and standing outside “The Family Bubble” you came from looking in and seeing a really dysfunctional, fucked-up, unloving and hurtful group of people who are YOUR FAMILY Members. No, I am not better than any of them, I am, however, so much happier and healthier than they are.

WHY? Because I have acknowledged all the old habits and behaviors which have torn my side of the family apart and I choose to NOT be or play a part in it anymore. Yes, it is sad and hurts to see or accept your family for who they really are. And, again, as I said earlier, I never hurt any of my family members when I was within my addiction, so I didn’t need to apologize for anything.

But I have no control over people, places, or things. I have tried making amends and sometimes it just doesn’t always work or have an outcome you’d hoped for. Even when it’s your family . . .

That’s ok, because today I am happy, healthy, loved and BET FREE!  🎉🎉💖💞
And that is always something to CELEBRATE in this New Year!
~Advocate/Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon

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What Can Happen When Addicted to Gambling Stops Working? For Me, Alcohol Abuse Began. Guest Article By ‘Alcohol Rehab Guide.’

What Can Happen When Addicted to Gambling Stops Working? For Me, Alcohol Abuse Began. Guest Article By ‘Alcohol Rehab Guide.’

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Alcoholism and Gambling Addiction

Alcoholism and gambling addiction are an especially dangerous combination that can cause significant harm to an afflicted individual and their families.

By  Edited: December 4, 2019 | 4 Sources

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The Relationship Between Alcoholism and Gambling Addiction …

Alcoholism And Gambling Addiction Are Very Commonly Found In The Same Person, Possibly Because They Both Impact The Brain Similarly
Whether or not someone can be “addicted” to gambling is controversial. However, once gambling becomes compulsive, despite financial consequences, “addiction” becomes easy to observe. This is especially true when alcoholism and gambling addiction are combined.

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What Is Gambling Addiction?

The acknowledgment of addictive drugs has been around for decades. 12-Step Programs, clinics, medical professionals, and websites have become dedicated to the understanding of the dangers of these substances. Non-pharmacological addictions, however, are often called into question. Categorized as a “Process Addiction,” Pathological Gambling was just recognized as an addiction by the American Psychiatric Association in May of 2013. Until then, it was categorized as an impulse control disorder. There is still debate as to whether Pathological Gambling is an addiction, though it is more widely accepted now than 30 years ago.

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How Can Someone be Addicted to Gambling?

Addiction, in general, works by stimulating the brain in a way that it becomes dependent on that stimuli. Biologically speaking, when someone does something that makes their body happy, like eating or having sex, their brain releases dopamine as a reward. As humans developed, we discovered that certain drugs can provide a more potent release of dopamine. As the brain restructures itself around the use of the drug, the natural stimuli that the human brain would reward before are lessened.
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This fundamental restructuring of the brain around a chemical substance is why there was so much controversy that something like gambling couldn’t cause an addiction, because there is no introduction of an external chemical for the brain to crave.

Though there is no chemical substance to interact in the brain, gambling has still been shown to trigger similar effects to alcohol. Some people with gambling addictions report feeling a euphoria when they gamble or in anticipation of leading up to the game. Similar to individuals dependent on drugs and alcohol, people with a gambling addiction will exhibit symptoms of withdrawal when they go without gambling for an extended amount of time. These symptoms can include headaches, anxiety, insomnia, and even heart palpitations.

Consider some of the criteria for a substance use disorder like alcoholism; 1) increasing frequency and amount, 2) increasing time spent, 3) continuing use despite negative consequences, 4) relationship problems, 5) neglecting major roles and responsibilities, 6) failed attempts to cut down or quit, 7) loss of interest in enjoyable activities, 8) preoccupation, and 9) compulsion. All of these are present in someone with a gambling addiction.
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Similarities Between Alcoholism and Gambling Addiction

There is a large percentage of people who suffer from alcoholism that have issues with gambling addiction, and vice versa. While there could be several reasons as to why someone may experience both, many researchers are looking at the similarities between the two addictions as the answer. The underlying reactions that are triggered in the brain when someone consumes alcohol are very similar to when someone gambles.
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In fact, the brain will release dopamine after someone gambles, the same process that happens in addictive drugs. The way these two reactions can stack on each other, along with the prevalence of alcohol in casinos, makes the potential of alcoholism and gambling addiction as co-occurring disorders even more likely.

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Alcoholism and Gambling Addiction as Co-Occurring Disorders
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Potentially due to the similar reactions consuming alcohol and gambling have on the brain, someone who is addicted to one has a greater risk of developing an addiction to the other. People who are addicted to gambling may turn to alcohol to settle their nerves while gambling, or if they’ve gone a prolonged amount of time without, gambling. Using alcohol to curb the negative effects of withdrawal can make them susceptible to heavy and problematic drinking, potentially leading to the development of alcoholism. Likewise, someone who suffers from alcoholism may seek comfort in casinos.

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People who suffer from an early stage of alcohol addiction will often look for a place where they can drink without judgment or people questioning it. The prevalence of alcohol in casinos makes it a popular place to drink heavily. Many casinos serve free alcohol or constantly have servers offer alcohol to casino patrons.

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Naturally, this opens someone up to the temptation of gambling. Judgment is one of the first things to be impaired when under the influence of alcohol, and someone can be easily swayed to play and bet higher than they would sober. So, as they progress in one addiction, they’re developing another.
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Alcoholism and Gambling Addiction Statistics

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6 percent

Studies have speculated that, at most, 6% of people have or will have an issue with Pathological Gambling.

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20 percent

Of the people diagnosed with an Alcohol Use Disorder, it is speculated that 20% of them also deal with a Gambling Addiction.

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1-in-5 people

1 in 5, or 20%, of people suffering from Gambling Addiction attempt suicide.

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Recovering from Alcoholism and Gambling Addiction

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If you, or someone you know, are suffering from alcoholism and gambling addiction, they can be treated at the same time. Being honest and admitting that you are having problems related to drinking and gambling is the first step on the path to recovery.
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If you are ready to take that first step, or just need some guidance, then reach out to a dedicated treatment specialist.

The fine folks of ‘Alcohol Rehab Guide’  as they help people get their lives back.

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